ALL THAT WAS LEFT BEHIND

Leaving Soon

Friday mornings were always a special time for Terrance. He would get ready for school in a cheerful mood, prepared to make the last day of work for the week a productive one. Exciting, or maybe not-so-exciting plans would be up in the air, and ready to look forward to. This morning however, he looked miserable, and frankly, still very angry with Sherry. He sat there at the kitchen table, typing away on his laptop. His eyes were focused on the screen with a blank look on his face. I approached him hesitantly, and carefully inspected his work from behind his shoulder. Words spat from his fingers at lightening speed, filling the page with his winded knowledge.

            “What are you working on?” I asked him.

            “Editing the English paper,” he answered glumly.

            “The paper that was due two weeks ago?”

            “No. Got assigned another one,”

            I felt a sharp twinge within me. I missed editing papers like before. I missed my old life.

            “Oh,” I said.

            Sherry hurried down the stairs with the sound of her bare feet padding on the hard wood. She came breezing into the kitchen in her favourite pair of tight jeans and poofy shirt. Without looking up, Terrance snapped his laptop shut and hastily prepared to organize his crumpled papers into a pile.

            “I should get going,” he mumbled.

            “Did you have something for breakfast?” asked Sherry.

            “I’ll grab something on the way.”

            Terrance swung his backpack over his shoulder once everything was inside. He moved rather quickly, for even though he was getting a bite to eat, he had a lot of time before school started.

            Uncomfortably, I looked to Sherry and said, “I'm just going to walk with him part of the way,” hoping that she would agree.

            Sherry didn’t seem thrilled with the idea; her mouth formed a hard scowl, revealing a few very faint wrinkles. Despite her discomfort, she only sighed and nodded.

            I smiled solemnly, and hurried to pull on my boots.

            Moments later, Terrance bolted out the door with everything he needed, with me trailing behind him.

            We jumped down the stairs, and into the fresh new day, where the rigid tension did not exist. Even though the pressure was released, Terrance still looked to be in a world of exhausted and hurt. His face looked drained, and his sandy hair was a messy mop on his head. I thought about teasing him about the cowlick that stuck up in the front, but decided against it. I also did not have the energy within me.

            We walked in silence for a few minutes, but I could sense him glancing at me with each step, as if deciding what to say.  

            “Are you okay?” he finally asked.

            I shrugged. I felt nothing. “Should be. I mean, I think so. What about you?”

            “No. And I know that you aren’t either. You’re never the kind of person who just lets things happen like this, so why are you just accepting it?” he demanded suddenly.

            I wasn’t sure how to answer him.

            He went on. “You’ve been through so much. Both of us have, but together we always fight through.”

            I looked at him quietly for a moment, allowing his fear to convey through his eyes. “I know that Terr. But there’s really nothing we can fight this time. No matter where I am though, you will always be there for me. And I will always be there for you.” I wanted so badly for him to come with me, or for me to stay, but that was impossible.

            His face lowered to watch at the passing ground. He didn’t face me when he asked, “Where do they live?”

            “I'm not sure really. A couple days journey up north somewhere, your mom told me. I forget the name of the city though.” At least I'm still in Ontario, I wanted to say to him, but it wouldn’t do any good.

            He only nodded.

            “The second I turn eighteen, you know I'm coming home. And until then, we’ll visit, and email each other…” I trailed off.

            “Yeah,” he mumbled.

            “I think I have a week until I leave. The funeral is on Monday, then after that, I”-

            “Let’s talk about something else, I'm sorry I brought it up,” he interrupted, and I was ever so grateful he did. Thinking about it made me fill with longing for my mother, and for things to be different.

“I'm sorry this happened. And all I can think are selfish thoughts concerning myself. It’s you who has been directly harmed.”

            I began to regret coming with him on the walk.

            “What else should we talk about?” I asked.

            “How stupid some of those people are over there,” he answered, pointing across the school at all the students hovering and mingling.

            It always amazed how quickly the walk to the school went by when I had him to talk to.

            “Later, alright? Sherry will want me home now,” I replied, waving him off.

            Besides, I had something I needed to do today.

            “Alright, thanks for walking me to school, but be safe walking back,” he called to me as he crossed the street over to the school.

            As he did so, I realized that he didn’t turn the corner to the local diner, which was almost dedicated to the school, for it was so close. He just went straight up to the school, not even bothering to talk to any of the other early comers.

            I sighed and turned around to head back home.

            Sherry turned around to face me when I came in the door. She seemed to be getting ready to go out somewhere, as her purse had been swung around her shoulder, and she was rummaging for her coat in the closet.

            “Sea, I need to go out of town to pick up a few things, do you want to come too?” she asked while occupied with the search.

            Sometimes there are opportunities so perfect; it was like they’re designed for you. It’s like they were flawlessly created to be fitted into your life.

            I nodded hastily, and begun my own search for a coat.