ALL THAT WAS LEFT BEHIND

Missing Pieces of All That Was Left Behind

I breathed in the delicate scent of Claire’s candles and the aroma of Doug’s sweaty boots in the corner of the kitchen, which lingered softly throughout the house. As I looked around, I became familiarized with the combination of fragrance, and familiarized with home.

            I sunk into the soft couch pillows, absentmindedly reaching for the fluffy green blanket on the seat, wrapping myself in its warmth.

            I could almost hear Matt’s voice gruffly mumbling to me, ever so clearly, as if we were having the conversation by the emergency vehicles all over again, but mentally.

            It was all so strange and foreign to me as he approached me in the hospital room, I remembered.

            “Sea,” he said. “I need to tell you something. I wouldn’t on any other circumstances, but you apparently would like to know this.”

            I sat crisscross on the papery bed, waiting for the doctor to return. I was baffled that he even managed to figure out what room I was in. I figured that he saw me as he came in, and shrugged it off. “Yes,” I eagerly said. “Tell me.”

            He looked away from me, carefully inspecting the detailed bacteria poster on the white walls. He spoke slowly, almost hesitant. “I…when I went back…”

            He trailed off, waiting for me to nod or something in acknowledgement.

            “To the forest, right. Did…did you find it? Did you find the wallet by the truck?”

            He paused a moment, then looked up to meet my eyes. I saw a slight, timid spark of triumph in his eyes, like a rare gem of in a dark stone cave, as the pink plush of his lips tweaked into a sly smile. “Yeah. I knew exactly where to look. The police might be onto me, but that’s a bridge I’ll cross when I get to it.”

            I smiled with relief, but then felt a pit hardening in my stomach at the thought of him disrupting what might turn out to be a crime scene. We still weren’t even sure what happened.

            “Good…is it burnt or anything? Can I see it?”

            He shook his head. “It’s okay. I hid it before I went back to the crowd. I buried it... do you want to see it??”

            I nodded and tried to conceal the sense of victory from my face. “Thank you.”

            “School tomorrow then.”

            As I sat in the couch, I twisted my hands, desperately hoping that it would have some form of significance, and that it wouldn’t be for nothing. I urgently wished that I wasn’t mistaking anything, looking for a clue that is nonexistent outside of my imagination.

            The grasping fingers of my mind trembled as it tugged at the knot before me. They began to burn before I even properly examined it.

 “Are you hungry, darling?” Claire called from the kitchen.

            I wasn’t certain on the amount of time that passed away to the unreachable world of before. Claire eventually came in to sit, then urging me to get some rest.

            I remember guiltily climbing the stairs, wishing that the day would come quickly, when I didn’t fall into things that disappointed and concerned her so.

There a presence of another around me at the tip of the morning, and it slowly broke me from my careless, dreamy sleep. I wanted to sink back under the deep layers of the ocean in my unconsciousness, but my eyelids began to flutter with the knowledge of someone near. Groaning, I opened my eyes to the bright light streaking across the room from the open window. I could smell the freshness of the day in the sunrays.