You calmed the Chaos (Sapnap x Karl)

Day 8

Sup bitches

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Karl

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"I have to leave?" I say taking in a shaky breath. My face settles in my hand, as confusion and worry slip through my soul. I feel the dark presence looming in my mind, it knows I'm vulnerable. He knows when to strike when to talk. He's hurting me, making me weaker by the day. All my strength is gone. My appetite.

I look over towards the water, I can see sapnap's figure pull back out of the water. His wet hair clinging to his head, as water drips down his chest. He was too far away to make out any features, I felt bad, not telling him sooner. 

"You do. It may be the only way to stay alive," I turn to face Lexi. Her dark eyes meet mine, They hold a pang of sadness and worry. She bites her cheek and I notice her eyes start to glaze over. "It may be the only way to keep him alive..."

Her gaze looks out at the sunrise, the colors danced across the sky. The hues of orange and pink playfully intersect almost as if it was painted. The clouds were thin, the bottoms illuminating a light purple. It was as if the world wanted to show the beauty in such a sad time. The sun sat perfectly atop the tip of a mountain. Almost as if it was destined to stay. 

I wish I could stay. I wish everything could go back to normal, maybe if I had been a little safer. Maybe if I hadn't been such a wuss and just killed her. No, that was unfair. My feelings were justified, she was my mother. It wasn't as simple as just killing her. Killing my mother. 

'She wasn't your mother' The voice spoke. I rolled my eyes, ignoring him. It was almost as if he was another person. Deciding how I should be feeling. Deciding that I'm wrong, showing that I had no right to be happy. I peered down at my hand, a small cut sat on my palm. The black blood had scabbed over. 

I pulled my knees to my chest, laying my head on my knees. Positioned to where I could see both Lexi and Sapnap. She smiled sadly in my direction, I noticed her wearing one of Sapnap's old shirts. Her shoulders were pale and covered in old scars and bruises. 

"Where would I go," I asked. 

"To where I stay. With my... My... husband," She says stuttering. I raised an eyebrow slightly, biting the tip of my thumb. I had started to chew my nails, a nervous habit. "They have an antidote. It could help you."

I held eye contact, her eyes swarmed with hurt, with fear. I felt a slight fire spread through my chest. A nervous one, I shouldn't be doing this. It's the only way. You need me now. I am your only memory of her. A bad one. A memory nonetheless. 

"Shut up," I yell. I bury my head in between my knees, salty tears fall into my lap. A small delicate hand rubs circles on my back. "I need help, Lexi. Please help me... Please."

"Okay. Tomorrow we'll go," Her voice is a whisper. A moment later I hear footsteps approach, they stop in front of me. 

I feel a rough hand on my cheek. I slowly lift my head, the hand stays on my cheek wiping away a tear. Sapnap's eyes are soft and dotted with worry. He pulls me into a hug, I choke on a sob as I cling to his larger frame. He rubs my shoulders, humming a familiar tune. 

I close my eyes, I have to leave him. For his own safety, I have to go. I'm killing him slowly, all of this is hurting him. It hurts him so much, he doesn't even realize it. I nuzzle my head into his chest as more tears fall. I don't want to go. I want to stay in his embrace, his warm embrace. 

He kisses my forehead, grabbing my chin and gently pulling it up towards him. He plants a small, quick kiss on my lips. I pull myself away from him, kissing him lightly on the forehead once I've stood.