what lovers do

chapter 10

 NHK Tokyo Local News: The authorities are still finding out the cause of the mysterious isolated earthquake yesterday afternoon near Sasazuka station....

She looks dismayed.

She looks dismayed and he hasn't even started yet. The sound of the television in the background is the only thing he can hear aside from his very own internal unrest. Gojo is already deducing that she will get mad at him after telling the whole reason why she got stuck in a sticky situation is none other than his womanizing. But he has no choice but to tell her everything. Women have their unique knack to know if a man is hiding a secret, something he has proven time and time again. Unless he wants her to know from a third party then things will only get a little nastier.

"You angry?" a foolish question coming from a man who cannot control his awful mouth asking nonsense in these circumstances. Gojo leans his back on a pillow, trying to calm his nerves from Utahime's frown but it gets deeper the more he delays the revelation.

"Just spill it out already,"

He can't tell if she simply wants to know the truth or she wants him to get out of her sight or maybe both. Gojo can tell Utahime is still mad at him.

He is so good at everything, the hailed genius of his clan, the most powerful sorcerer, and deadly handsome too! But now he's just a man grasping at straws because of a woman who happens to be carrying his child. Utahime still has her arms crossed over her chest, impatiently waiting for him to say what he needs to say. No speck on her face doesn't spell she's in a good mood for any types of jokes.

So Gojo starts by telling her about Emi, what happened that night outside the karaoke bar, and after that when he rejoined the group. He left a few details such as their flirting that same night which he honestly thinks is unimportant. He tells her almost everything and Utahime listens without interrupting him, only peering and fighting the urge to roll her eyes at some parts. Gojo now understands those cheating husbands getting caught. The only difference is that they aren't in a sort of relationship and that he didn't really cheat on her.

Still, it didn't change the way he feels about this confession and he asks himself why.

"In short," Utahime starts after he is done. "You indirectly caused this."

The word 'indirectly' is a saving grace for Gojo. He nods at her words. "Yeah..." he admits, not trying to make it like he's a pure, innocent man because that's just simply not true. He had no plan to sugar-coating his fault here. Utahime appreciates the honesty despite not showing it openly.

She shifts from her seat amidst the silence, weighing the story and consequences of it all. Gojo let her process it thinking he should accept what her reactions will be. A whole minute has passed and they remain in an undisturbed hush. He starts considering maybe he should leave her in peace. Pregnant women tend to be more emotional, perhaps she needs more time to gather her thoughts before she can talk to him again. That drug they consumed that night brought disaster in their lives, that, he cannot change.

Utahime finally looks at him after that too much quietness. "One thing,"

Gojo prepares to hear something in the line of getting out of her apartment pronto because she cannot stand to see his face right now. But what comes from Utahime is far from what he expected.

"Did you love her?" she asks quietly.

Gojo gawks at her, blue eyes flickering. For a little while, he thought he misheard the question.

"Huh?"

"I'm asking if you ever held any deep feelings for her," Utahime repeats, staring at him straight in the eyes like a hidden warning that he should not lie.