what lovers do

chapter 12

The dizzying pressure is too much for her weak body to handle.

The girl, now around nine to ten years of age according to Utahime's assessment, is hunching over a bronze jar inside a dark room. The light coming from the oil lamp dances in her eyes. Utahime cannot see her face as the little girl busies herself assembling something in her hands. The ends of her long silver hair on the soiled ground. Curiously, the woman steadily peeks on the girl, careful as if she might startle her when in reality the girl cannot see her at all.

Utahime feels a chill running on her spine, discovering that what the child is holding is nothing but remains from a dead person. There are hands, limbs, fingers, torso, neck, and feet, coated with filth and dried blood.

What is a kid doing in all of those? Utahime is no stranger to unpleasant situations but knowing that a kid is unbothered by no less than a corpse doesn't sit right with her. The little girl is too engrossed in checking every part as she does it every day. Not a sign of fear or disgust on her innocent face. Besides the grotesque carcass is a discarded orange robe that Utahime immediately recognizes.

A monk?

There must be something deeply wrong with the way a child looks satisfied at the several body parts splayed in front of her and Utahime is unsure if she is ready to know more.

The scene changed in a flash and she is back at the same riverside she usually goes to. It has become a habit for her to meet up with her friend in the place once or twice a week. It is that same boy with spiky hair and green eyes. Judging from his outfit, Utahime can deduce that the boy comes from a well to do family.

"....but I cannot use cursed energy,"

"Then how are you going to use that?"

The girl exhales and plops down the grass. No idea. She has no idea.

The boy laughs and calls her stupid. "In order for you to use that, you need a spell, right? Both of us do not possess cursed energy, and you are showing me that?" he ridicules, wiping a katana with a cloth, sitting in front of the girl with crossed legs. The day is clear and warm.

"You're my only friend and I want to show it to you," the girl responds with the same soft voice, eyes full of innocence and joy. Utahime wonders for a moment if she is aware that assembling and playing with corpses is not very normal. Then again, in this war-torn era, most children are brought to war at a very early age with their parents being away from home for months or even years. The woman gazes at the girl's cuts and scars. It never fades, proving that the girl is continuously suffering from physical abuse. Her father is the only one in the clan who seems to have genuine care for her but being the head of the family, he is almost never home with lots of responsibilities and war to lead. Leaving opportunity in the family members to beat her up.

Utahime clenches her fists thinking about it.

The boy stands up, putting the katana back to its sheath. "I have to go now, you should go back home. You might faint again."

There's that look on her face, the one that begs him not to go.

"I-it's okay, they won't look for me even if I die..." she tells him while playing with her fingers.

Utahime watches the boy's hurt and angry reaction. She can read his facial expression too well - guilt, regret, feeling of uselessness- to not be able to help his only friend. They're just children after all.

He turns to take his leave but soon halts. "I haven't told you before but I took a job as a warrior for another sorcerer clan. Well, one day if I went missing, you know what it means, right?"