Bottom! Alastor one-shots!

☁️Bloody Match App☁️ Radiosnake

  "No Anthony" Alastor growls, disregarding his friends rants and pleads for the fifth time that day alone, why he ever befriended the porn star was beyond him frankly. "Oh come on Al! It's a great app and you have dated anyone since-well, I don't know if ya ever dated anyone before, ya had to at least had girls all over ya!" Anthony tries again. Alastor rolls eyes as he reapplied his crimson eyeshadow, the color blending nicely with his darker skin tone, "I haven't dated at all and I'd much prefer not too" he yells back at his friend. Angel crosses his arms, the serial killer was far too stubborn for his own good sometimes, and it frustrated the Italian. "Come on! What are ya afraid you'll fall in love or somethin'? Look at it this way if ya don't like em ya can lure them back to your house and bada bing bada boom ya gotcha self a meal for tonight!" Alastor turned ready to snap at his friend again, but he stops as he thought about Anthony's words, this wasn't a half bad idea, it would give that damned cellphone he had to have some use at least. "I suppose you might have some kind of a point, very well, I shall give this app a try" Alastor gives in begrudgingly. The taller can perks up and looks down at the Creole man, "wait, serious? Ya not pullin' ma dick here are ya?" Anthony asked with a raised brow. Alastor scoffs, a face of disgust slightly masked by his usual prominent grin, "I can assure you I am not, now out!" Alastor shouted while pushing the Italian out of his home.

   Alastor sighs as he fumbled to find out how the App Store works, he eventually found out how it worked and was so thankfully when he finally found the accursed app. "Cinder?" Alastor wonders out loud, it sounded rather odd to the old-fashioned man, but he shrugged it off and downloaded the app. He sighs and looks at the app unamused, he waited impatiently for the app to boot up. Immediately he's met with questions Alastor hardly thought about, simple things he could see being vital for an app such as this, gender, sexual preferences, etc. The app also required him to make an account, requiring he write a bio and add a profile picture. He was already regretting his decision, but this was a possible way to lure in potential victims so he supposed he'd have to oblige. Alastor didn't like taking pictures, preferring his voice over his face, so he didn't have any pictures to use, having to take a photo at that moment with his signature smile. "Hello everyone! I'm new to this online dating thing, and dating as a whole! I do hope to meet a very lovely person here!" Alastor types, submitting his bio and finishing his account. As soon as he was done, he began scrolling through men the app suggested through his search history. Now it was a well known fact Alastor didn't use his phone, so he held no fear using the device to answer his more morbid questions.

   Imagine his surprise when he received a notification barely a minute later, someone was actually interested in him? He checked his messages and sighs in relief to see a more then acceptable message with grammar and punctuation that wouldn't make him want to shoot someone-yet. "Hello there, I saw your profile and couldn't help but notice what a charming fellow you are, I was wondering if you would be interested in going to dinner with me, say Monday?" the message read. Alastor hums in thought, taking a glance at the potential suitor/future meals profile, he was a bit disappointed to see the man hardly any wider then himself, though meat was meat he supposed. His breath hitches in his throat, this man had also asked their phone rather morbid and gorey questions, this is what caught Alastor's interest as he returned to his messages. "Why that sounds like a splendid idea! Do you have anywhere in mind? I'm free at around seven o' clock that night if that's alright with you" Alastor responded. Immediately a reply popped up, "I know this great restaurant that serves the best steaks, and seven sounds great, I'll text you the location", and the location popped up right after. "Wonderful, I'll see you there" Alastor text, and with that he closed the app and headed for bed, it was only Saturday night after all, he had plenty of time to prepare in the morning.

   Monday came rather quickly for the poor man, and he was suddenly struck with nerves, why was he so nerves anyways? He was planning to eat this man anyways. Still, he supposed he did want to at least try to be presentable for this date, maybe try to have a partner in crime if the persons searches were anything to go off of. Alastor sighs taking a quick but thorough shower, drying himself off and brushing his hair, slipping on this nice flowing ruby red dress, and putting on his usual crimson red eyeshadow with a light layer of red blush. Angel had taught him how to properly apply make up when he decided to lure in a particularly picky victim, the victim wouldn't go anywhere with a man, but once Alastor showed up in all dolled up and impossible to recognize he was easily swayed. He didn't want to make himself unreasonable however, he simply felt like this date was a good enough excuse to to doll himself up a bit. He grabs a small dagger he easily concealed in the long black boots he put on and black gloves accompanied them well, he inspected himself in the mirror, deeming himself ready before making his way to the location, as he was always quite punctual.

Once he was in front of the restaurant he checked his phone and grinned at seeing he was early as usual, he pulled up the app to message his 'date' to let him know he was there. "I'm here, golly this is quite exciting!" Alastor texted, quite a bit of time passed and his date didn't message back, though he did hear a voice from behind him. "Excuse me miss, you wouldn't have happened to have seen a rather attractive man here would you?" the voice said, it was clear that it was his date and he was obviously flirting, but it wasn't the sleazy type he expected, it seemed much more genuine and polite. Alastor felt his cheeks burn up at the compliment but ultimately brushed it off, "well aren't you the gentleman? It just so happens I would be your date, my name is Alastor, it's a pleasure to meet you!" Alastor introduces himself. His date smiles and adjust his bow tie, "Simon Pentious! It's lovely meeting such a lovely and polite individual! Who would have ever thought a serial killer could be so polite?" Simon says the last part in a low tone so only they could hear. Alastor puts his hand on his thigh ready to strike immediately if he has to, "what gave it away?" Alastor says it a similarly low tone. "Your search history, the news of a string of murders in the same city and state you originate from according to your profile, and that look of pure insanity in your eyes" Simon answers with a smirk.

Alastor glares reaching towards his boot only to have Simon grasp his hands with stars in his eyes, "it's an honor to speak with a real life serial killer, in a writer you see and I'd love to learn more about what you do to make my stories more factually accurate. Ah, that would certainly explain those searches he made now wouldn't it? With an exhausted sigh he nods and looks at Simon, "very well then, but you must promise that you won't be turning me into the police once you have your information!" Alastor says in a strict tone. Pentious nods his head enthusiastically before opening the door for the creole man, Simon already had a private table that they could talk at. Both ordered a glass of red wine, Simon ordering the classic steak while Alastor ordered venison instead, when the waiter left that was when Simon started his questions. "To cut to the chase, how long would it take for someone to die after being stabbed in the stomach?" Simon asked while laughing at his own joke. Alastor couldn't help but laugh as well as he pondered the answer, racking his brain for an answer, "anywhere between two to thirty minutes depending on the victim" Alastor answers calmly. Simon was shaking and his pupils formed hearts as he stared at his date, "thank you" he says politely. "Now, it you were to kill someone, how would you do it?" Alastor asked, ready to critique the other considering his skills. "Air shot between the toes, it would look like a heart attack" Simon states confidently, Alastor taking a deep breath as he says "ok" in response. That was pretty much how their date went, they'd eat, drink their wine and discuss murder tips and facts the other needed or wanted to know, and eventually they moved onto more personal things. The two exchange phone numbers, Simon giving Alastor a kiss on his hand, smiling up at him before heading towards his car. Alastor blushed and took the short walk home, he sighs dreamily and looks at his phone, saving Simon's phone number and deleting the app. What a perfect date.