Let Me Fix You

Chapter 7

I wake up and Niall is asleep.
I'm trying to process what happened last night. I mean it was all a big blurr. So many tears shed so many horrible memories made. I don't know what to do. I know that Niall enjoyed that kiss even if he didn't kiss her. I'm just so confused.
"Good morning babe." Niall says in a raspy voice.
"Fuck." I whisper to myself.
I wanted to go over to him and make out with him but then again I wanted to punch him and scream at him. It's like a nightmare that is real. My favorite celebrity was in my house and is hanging out with me but he's a jackass.
"Ariana?!? What are you thinking about babe?"
"Nothing." I do everything possible not to look at him.
"I know something is wrong."
"Niall, I'm hungover and I really don't want to talk about this." He fucking never listens.
"Please tell me!!"
"Do you remember last night at the party?"
"Yes I do. And I fucking shouldn't have let that happen."
"Niall, do you like me? Or is this relationship nothing?" I ask him.
"What relationship? Ariana... We are just friends having fun. And yes I really like you but we are just messing around." Wow! Ouch those words hurt.
"Oh okay... I'm sorry." I say quiet trying to hold back the tears but they scream out.
"Fuck! I didn't mean that! Okay I like you Ariana and I want to have a good serious relationship with you but to be honest.. I'm just as fucked up as you use to be! Okay! I'm fucking rapped up in this fucking fame! And it's hard to get out of it! You don't understand! And I'm sorry for being a dick okay?!? I FUCKING LOVE YOU!"
I can't do this anymore. I can't take the confusion. The I love you's and then the next day you don't.
"I'm going to go out for a walk." I say crying.
"I'm going with you."
"Fine." I don't feel like arguing right now so I just give in.
I gab my cigarettes and a bottle of vodka. It may be only 12 in the afternoon but it's never to early to drink especially when you are having a day like this.
He grabbed my arm and stopped me.
"No. I'm not letting you smoke or drink."
"I can do whatever I want to do." I say in a sassy tone.
"No you really can't." My mom says walking by us. Ugh! She's home.
"With saying that..." She grabs the bottle of vodka and cigarettes out of my hand.
"GIVE THEM TO ME!! PLEASE!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW!"
"It doesn't matter what the hell you are going through!! You don't act like this." And with her saying that I slap her. I have wanted to do that for years.
"ARIANA!!" Niall pulled me back.
"Aria you can hit me all you want I don't care. You can hate but i care about you and I'm not going to let you get drunk and smoke just because you are upset. I love you to much to do that." I break down. I'm so messed up right now.
"Don't cry baby. Everything will be okay." My mom try's to calm me down.
"NO IT WON'T I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO THINK LIKE THAT FOR YEARS AND I'M DONE!! I'M DONE!!! I JUST AM FUCKING DONE!" I can't breathe by now. I used all my air screaming.
"Babe breathe, calm down please."

•Niall's POV•
I'm such a jackass. Maybe if I hadn't said and done what I did this wouldn't be happening and I wouldn't have to see her like this. I'm suppose to be fixing her not breaking her. But no I am fucking making her worse.
She runs to the bathroom and locks the door.
"Aria... Please open the door."
"NO!! PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" She's fucking sobbing. What the fuck have I done?
"Aria don't do it. You are worth more than that."
"NO I'M NOT!"
"I swear to god. Aria if you do this I will... Fucking kill you."
"Fuck off Niall!! You don't give a fuck about me. Remember we aren't in a relationship! Why should you care?" Fuck... I really messed up.
"I didn't mean that Aria and you should know that." She opens the door right now I say that.
She looked so beautiful but so broken. "I don't know. Okay? Because the only person I listen to is you and whatever you say I take in personally and whatever you say has meaning to me, even if it's just hi." That made no sense but it's okay. I laugh at my thought.
We start to kiss.
"I love you, Niall."
"I love you too." She puts her hands on my waist and I smile until I relies I haven't told her something.
"Hey babe. I need talk to you." I grab her hand and sit her on the bed.
This is going to be so hard to say.

•Ariana's POV•
"Tell me." I smile. He looks worried which makes me worried.
What if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he leaves me for forever?
"Okay... I just want you to know that You mean so much I me and that this isn't what I want to do right at this moment but I have too." He slightly smiles.
"I'm going on tour with the boys... I didn't know it would be this soon. That's why I just stayed here." Those words hurt like getting stabbed. He's leaving me.
"Oh... Okay..." Tears stream down my face.
"Don't cry baby. We will still see each other and talk I promise." He sweetly smiles at me and wipes the tears away.
"No! Niall, you're just saying that! You're not going to keep it. You're like my old boyfriend! He moved and he promised that he would keep contact and he never talk to me again." Now I'm completely sobbing.
"Well, Aria. I'm not like him. When I make a promise I usually keep it."
"Okay..." I get up and go to my dresser and take out my hidden pack of cigarettes.
"No! Stop! Ariana! What the fuck is wrong with you?!? You can't just go to cigarettes when you're sad or mad! They don't help!" Fucking ass. He can't tell me what I should and shouldn't do.
"I really don't care, Niall."
"Well I do. And plus you need to listen to me. I'm older than you."
"YOU'RE FUCKING LEAVING ME NIALL!! And quiet frankly I don't know if I'm going to be able to be without you." He rolls his eyes.
"You lived without me for 16 years of your life you can do a few months."
"Niall... I'm attached to you now. You use to be just one of my favorite stars hat I dreamt of being with, but now we are best friends I guess... Since you said we weren't dating." He really can be the biggest ass I know but I think he does that for a reason.
"Babe... I have to work. I need to make money and support our fans."
"I just don't want you to leave me. I love you Niall. I don't care if you don't love me or if you do, I will always love you no matter what." He grabs my hand and holds it.
"Please put the cigarettes down." I put them down.
"When are you leaving?" He stares at the ground which tells me I'm not going to like the answer.
"Tomorrow." This can't be happening. I can't do this. My love is leaving me.
"No! No! No! Please Niall." Once again today I can't breathe.
"I'm sorry. I really am I should have told you earlier." He looks so ashamed, which he should be and if I wasn't so sad I would be screaming at him.
"NO!" I sob on his shoulder.
"Shhhhhh babe. It will be okay."
"Please... Don't... Leave me." I try to catch a breath but I can't because I'm crying so hard.
"I'm not leaving you. Like I said I will keep in contact with you sweetie."
"Okay... Well you need to go to your hotel and get your stuff washed and ready to go." I hate this. I hate myself. I hate this world. The only thing I don't hate is Niall.