Innocent Rose

6. Next to Nothing

TW: hints of suicide

All I saw was a black dark hallway. I didn't hear or see anything else so I decided to start walking. It was peaceful.

After some time, it felt like I was walking through an endless tunnel so I stopped and eventually laid down, looking up at the sky and seeing the night sky covered in countless stars.

Then I heard laughter.

I looked around and saw a family at the beach. It was still dark outside, but I saw a few adults talking with each other while 3 kids were playing in the water and sand.

I slowly walked over, seeing a young girl playing with 2 boys and I immediately knew what this memory was. This was when I was with my dad, step mom, my aunt and cousin, my younger brother Andrew, and my step brother James. I was almost 8, Andrew was almost 6, and James was almost 11. My sister wasn't even in the picture yet.

And this was my favorite memory from when James was alive. He died due to cancer at age 17. I remember that his high school let him graduate early because of it.

James was the sweetest person. Even though we weren't family through blood, he always treated me like I was his sister anyways. I could really use one of his hugs right now.

I sat down on the sand, watching everything from afar, crying. This was the last time I ever truly felt happy without any worries. Before I was hit with so much realization about everything. The abuse. Manipulation. How unhappy and alone I really was going to be.

I looked at my younger self. Her smile was so bright, brown hair was curly and bouncing around in little ringlets. She was so happy and had little to no care for the world. And in a few years, she was going to be hit with everything.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked, seeing Anthony. "Hey Rose." He says next to me, throwing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me close to him. I sniffled as I laid my head on his shoulder. 

When I came to, I shot up on the bed, breathing deeply, but all I saw was a room that didn't belong to me. The room was smaller than the one I shared with my sister and the bed covers were a dark green.

My throat was sore and dry and I knew I had to get some water, so I slowly got up and I saw myself in the mirror. I was still in my costume (minus the jacket) and my mascara was faded and smeared under my eye. I looked like I was hungover and tired.

I coughed again which only caused me to blink repeatedly at an alarming rate. What happened last night and how did I end up here?

I saw my phone on the nightstand and grabbed it, looking at the time (almost 11 am which is unlike me) and through the notifications (which were mostly text messages, missed calls from the girls at 3 am, and the usual Instagram here and there) before I opened the door, revealing Anthony, reaching for the doorknob as he held a water bottle.

"Uh, morning." He said softly.

It wasn't the fact that I realized that I was at his house, but that he was shirtless in front of me. He wasn't shredded with muscles, but he had a nice figure.

I grabbed the water bottle and turned around, taking a swig and cleared my throat. "Where am I?" I asked softly.

Please don't let it be true.

"My apartment."

"Please don't tell me we hooked up. I don't want to be performing a walk of shame." I scratched my forehead.

There was a pause. "You don't remember?"

I looked down at my phone to look through my messages. "Not really." I started scratching my now really hot forehead.