The Broken Hearts Club

Chapter 2: Me and My Broken Heart

Our history books always said that New York was this wonderful place where even the most broken souls would find joy, and the lights that lit up the city would dazzle and twinkle like magic. The Big Apple, where all your dreams come true. Let me just say, the books lied. There was nothing magical about this place anymore. Our books described a New York that is no longer here, a reality that disappeared several hundred years ago.

I walked through the city, dragging my bag of belongings as I went. I felt unwelcome on the streets of a city I had called home for so long. The skyscrapers loomed over me, it was as if they were reminding me that I wasn't good enough to live in this country. I wasn't big and bad enough. I was just a small little bug they could step on. And when they did, no one would care about my passing, no one would know that I ever existed. I was merely a speck on a planet full of giants.

To sum it up... I felt broken, I felt abused, and I felt like a loser. A big idiot with no home and no friends. I was used to this feeling though. It had occurred often throughout my childhood. Constantly being thrown in and taken out of orphanages always made me think realistically. I was always blunt, I hate people who sugar coat things. They always seem to make me feel worse once the truth is revealed. Many optimistic adults tried to tell me that I would get adopted eventually. They all let me down in the end. Honestly, I was glad Kane had let me down the way he did. He told me straight up. No lies to let me down gently, just the cold, hard, truth.

The only thing that still made me erupt with rage was the fact that Harvey had lied about all of it. He is a sick deceiver, I don't understand how Kane could ever be friends with him. Maybe Kane was just an idiot, I convinced myself. Well at least I'm not dating an idiot anymore. Sadly, this thought didn't take away the pain I was feeling. Being in a relationship with Kane had been the majority of the past two years of my life. It was heartbreaking to think that I wouldn't have him beside me, loving me, and supporting me. At the same time, I knew I didn't need him in my life to survive. I had always been on my own up until dating him. Although this feeling of a broken heart was present in me, the pain was nothing compared to the uncertainty of my life. I was mortified at the idea of what my future would be. I continued to walk throughout the city, having no idea where I would end up. Soon enough, I decided the best thing to do right now was look for a hotel.

I pulled up google maps on my phone, desperate to find somewhere to stay. At least I had money. There was no way I would survive the night out on the streets. No one stayed out at night, even the local clubs would close at 9:00. It was just too dangerous. At night, my home was a playground for the many gangs that operated throughout the country. During the hours of darkness is when they would come out and set their plans in motion. The idea of criminals roaming the streets at night didn't scare me though, it had been like this for years. Most of the country thought the complete opposite. They were terrified and annoyed by the thought of criminals and lowlifes, as the rich called them. Who were in our midst every single day.

As the sun began to set, I found a vacant Holiday Inn near Central Park. I entered the hotel, the automatic doors sliding as I walked through. I felt offended as the lady at the desk gave me a weird look. Then I realized she was staring at my bag, so full of stuff that it was almost breaking at the seams. I'll definitely have to get a new bag tomorrow, I thought as I discreetly tried to tuck my overflowing belongings back in the bag. I then paid for a room for a two night stay, thinking that I should be able to find an apartment to stay in, one far away from Kane and the memories of us together.

I found my room on the second floor, and opened the door. Immediately the strong smell of cleaning supplies flooded my nose. The door closed with a thud and I placed my big bag of stuff on the floor, not caring about it at the moment. I flopped onto the bed, letting the thick blanket and pillows catch me. The bottled up exhaustion from the day hit me like a freight train. I allowed my emotional pain to overtake me.

It was extremely unlike me, but I began to cry. Slow, soft sobs erupted from my mouth followed by a stream of tears cascading down my face like a river. Tomorrow, I told myself. I have to find a job and move on with my life. I can't allow this to ruin me. As these final thoughts crossed my mind, I closed my eyes. Crying myself to sleep.