I watch my sister and Bastian climb the rigging, smiling to myself. Amora's happy - she's really having a good time with Bastian, pirate or not. He's my best friend first, and I will admit I'm even more fiercely protective of Amora, but I can't shake the small satisfied feeling in my gut that those two are growing closer.
"He's a good match for you, sis," I find myself whispering my train of thought aloud.
There's a painful groan to my right, and even if the ship was full of a crew, I'd know the voice anywhere. I turn to watch Ferrick's skin shift to a sickly shade of green, from pale peridot to emerald in the face. He still hasn't adjusted to sea life, and if I don't do something now, I doubt that will ever happen. As much as I disliked our forceful union at home, I hate to see him miserable now.
When he catches me approaching, it's obvious how he tries to hide it. Ferrick straightens his back and appears to be leaning casually against the rail instead of hunched over and hanging on for his life just moments ago.
His gaze glances up to Amora and Bastian, and he's found something to change the subject before its even broached. "You think they'll be okay up there?"
I cross my arms over my chest and crane my neck back. "I've seen Bastian scale the rigging thousands of times when it was just us." I can't help the small smile. "My sister is in more than capable hands."
"Hm." There is an obvious disgruntlement behind the sound he makes, and I remember how Ferrick has never been fond of pirates.
And then he pitches off balance again.
I sigh, and it's an effort to control the sympathetic smile that tugs at my mouth. "Alright, come on. You're gonna have to earn your sea legs one way or another, friend."
He squares his shoulders defiantly. "I don't know what you're - " And then he stumbles again as the ship lists starboard.
I let the smile shine through my control, and I grab onto his forearms to pull us to the center of the deck, where it's easiest to balance. "Come on, you big baby. I'll teach you some tricks to keep you standing."
Ferrick holds onto my forearms in return and plants his feet, searching for solid footing on a forever moving vessel. I teach him what muscles to use and what sides to lean into depending on the way the ship lists. I make him practice with me until he no longer needs anything to hold onto.
"It's just muscle memory," I tell him as I step back and watch.
He gives me a dry look. "I feel like I look ridiculous right now."
"Well, not everyone adjusts to sailing right away. They just expected you to know, so you were adjusting wrong." I cast a sharp glance to my sister and best friend, who both seemed entirely wrapped up in their own little world. "See, you were going against the movements of the ship. You have to lean into it. Like you're doing now."
"I do feel a bit better," he allows, and I notice his skin has faded back to its regular paleness, the light dusting of freckles across his cheeks a little more prominent.
"I'll make a sailor out of you, yet," I tease him, and smile at the way the bridge of his nose reddens in a blush.
"This is the first time I've seen you smile since I boarded the ship," he points out, forgetting his stance and straightening to move with the tides as I taught him. His throat bobs. "I've missed it."
His words sober me, and I clear my throat, having to avert my eyes before I grow a blush to match his own. "Y-you have?"
"Whenever I visited Arida, you were always so sad and distant. I didn't know at the time it was because you were always trying to control your fire around other people. I didn't realize until you left how incredibly draining that could be. What it could do to a person." He steps forward and catches my arms, squeezing into my flesh. "I felt so privileged whenever I was around to catch a glimpse of your smile, or hear the way your laugh sounded. It was so rare, but I needed to know what my future wife was really like beneath what she allowed the world to see."
My future wife. The words still have the power to send a rupture of fear down my spine. I extract myself from his grip, pushing his hands away. I don't care how warm they feel against my skin, or how steady and gentle he holds me. His words are sweet and sugar coated - and most important of all, they're sincere. He really does love me, I realize. He's waited for me all this time.
"Ferrick..." I say, attempting to control the tremble in my voice.
He stumbles, but catches his footing in time as the ship is battered by a strong wave. I shake my head, wanting to be anywhere but under the longing gaze in his eyes. "Work on perfecting your sea legs for now," I tell him. "I'll see what I can do about dinner."
I leave him on the deck, where I know he'll be looked after by the other two. Running away, that's what I've always done with him. I know it's not fair to Ferrick or my own feelings and how they nagged and squeezed at my heart. But I can't face him, not now. I'm scared of what I might feel.
