Out on the street. I decided to walk towards an intersection that looked very busy. More people, more sense of security. I looked at the buildings, office towers, shops and signs. It was late afternoon then. People were starting to head home. Pedestrian traffic was heavy.
I was definitely employed or lived somewhere nearby. As I walked, I realized it was probably a mistake to leave the coffee shop so soon. I should have stayed there for someone to recognize me. A co-worker, friend or acquaintance must visit there.
I stopped and stepped over to a bench near the busy intersection. It was a little patch of green with a water fountain and stone ledges. It was full of people sitting and talking, drinking and eating, texting and talking on their phones.
Should I go back to the coffee shop or not? I sat next to a couple of chatting women who were enjoying smoothies. They talked about something completely devoid of any value for me.
"... so it went on for an hour and by the time I got out, I had to get a second opinion... and you know how second opinions are..."
"Oh yeah..."
"... but the funny thing is that I just wanted to get it anyway, so before I went back in, Laura comes out and sees me... and I'm all too flustered, you know... I mean you do get a little embarrassed, don't you..."
"Absolutely..."
"... and so I just made up a story about..."
They kept talking about some 'second opinion' that the one of them wanted to take and went on and on about it. Maybe I could ask them for help or directions to a hospital. They both looked friendly and approachable. But I hesitated for no particular reason.
I then ignored everything around and tried to think. But there were just too many questions fighting in my head for my immediate attention. What was I going to do if I couldn't remember? What if I get told something about me but I couldn't relate to anymore? Should I be really worried? Shouldn't I be a little scared? Why was I not panicky? Wasn't this something that would freak one out of control?
Fuck it, I thought. Then immediately I recognized what I just did. My diction should give me a clue. Did I curse much? Was I an easily dismissive person?
I tried not to solve clues and instead tried pondering over what to do next. But the more I attempted the more I got distracted.
I saw that everyone around was carrying a phone. Why wasn't I carrying one? Where was my stuff? Why was I in the coffee shop without a wallet or a handbag or even a phone? Perhaps I worked very nearby... so close that I just popped out for a quick takeaway. But then why was I given a tray and not a bag? I was eating at the shop. Surely I was going back to a table where my stuff was. I did do a full survey around the shop, though, didn't I? If I did have something on me, where was it?
I stood up and forcefully decided that I should head back to the coffee shop. I mentally noted the place I was in... the fountain, the intersection, the subway station stairs now filling up with people.
