LOL

#this is funny!!!

Someone actually complemented on my driving today. They left a little more on the window screen and it said 'Fine parking.'

I don't know about u, but I need a 6 month vacation twice a year.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for a few years.

What did my doctor tell me when I had 40 seconds to live? He said wait a minute!!