Chapter Twenty-Nine

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Louis Pov

Waking up from my sleep I turn to the side to see if Harry has woken up yet. Opening my eyes I see that Harry isn't there, still in my sleepy daze it takes me a while to realise. But I do, and I wish I had stayed asleep. As I realise Harry has left I quickly reach to my phone next to me on my bed and check for any messages.

'I'm home'.

A single text, that's all I have gotten. Knowing that he got home gives me a bit of relief but I can't even convince myself to smile, knowing that Harry felt the need to leave and go home and that it was my fault hurts so bad. I should have been there for him, helped him through this tour. The fact that is has taken him to leave for me to understand how much it was for him breaks my heart even more.

Opening messages I text Harry.

'Haz I'm so sorry please come back. We can talk about it. I love you.'

'Harry I should have looked after you more please message me.'

'Harry can we talk please?'

Waiting and sitting on my phone I get no response. Today so happens to be one of our shorter travel days where we get the morning off and leave in the afternoon. Checking the time I realise that its already 1pm, I guess that's what happens when I'm up all night.

Not feeling the motivation to even shower, I leave my clothes on from last night and get up to pack my suitcase back together. The bus leaves at 2pm so it thankfully gives me enough time to pack all my stuff and have something small to eat.

Putting my hood up around my head I grab my suitcase and bag and leave the hotel where the buses are waiting out back. Giving my large suitcase to the bus driver, who puts it in the compartment under the bus, I hop on with my backpack that holds all of my essentials.

As I step on I am met with an over excited Niall and Liam who are fighting over the last slice of pizza, that they have seemed to order for lunch.

"Hi Lou!" Niall greets with way too much enthusiasm. Although as soon as he notices my mood and appearance his face drops. "Louis? Are you okay? Where's Harry?" Liam asks from beside Niall.

Shaking my head I walk past them to put my bag down and to sit alone in the back lounge. As expected in comes Niall and Liam both with concerned and confused faces on display. Sitting down on either side next to me they give me expecting looks. Sighing I slouch down on the couch.

"He left. He went home."

Obviously confused and shocked Niall goes to ask a million more questions but Liam is quick to tell him to be quiet. Sliding over on the couch, Liam puts his arm around me and brings me into a side hug. "It's okay. He loves you and will be back when he's ready." Liam quietly states.

Sniffling and shrugging my shoulders I lean further into Liam's hold, just needing the comfort. "Did you get much sleep?" Niall carefully asks. Shaking my head no they both sigh and get comfortable. Liam still holding me close. Not wanting them to feel bad for me, they shouldn't it was my fault he needed to leave, I get up and quietly mumble about going to bed while I leave and get into my bunk and try and get some rest.

===

What I assume to be a few hours later I am getting woken up by Liam. "We made it to the hotel, come on." Helping me out of the bunk he grabs my backpack for me and leads me up to the hotel and to my room. As we enter my room I get straight into bed as Liam puts my backpack and suitcase down on the floor.

"Niall and I were going to go check out this cool arcade we heard of. You want to come?" Liam asks.

"No thanks." I quietly reply. "Are you sure? It's going to be fun." Liam tries again. "Not today Liam." I reply as I roll over in bed and face away from him.

Sighing he leaves the room.

===

As the next few days go on Liam and Niall try and get me to go out with them on multiple occasions. I know they are trying to help me feel better but I just can't find the motivation. I am messing up all my lyrics on stage, tripping over on everything, I am overall so distracted and I can't find the motivation to even try anymore.

I never thought i'd have such a connection with someone to the point where when they leave I am completely lost. I am struggling to function.

Harry hasn't messaged me back, I know he's seen them but he won't reply. Every night I wish him good night and remind him how much I love him and that I miss him, but he doesn't reply.

Feeling like this there's nothing much to do to help myself, but the one thing I found myself doing was writing more, writing new songs. I am working on one that is the most raw I have been with my emotions in any song I have written for the band. It's one of those songs that brings me to tears while writing or singing. However I still feel the need to perform it, I crave that emotional state while performing that I never truly get. I am hoping that the song will be finished before this first leg of the tour and I am able to perform it.

As the news has spread on Harry leaving everyone has been treading very lightly around me, making sure not to bother me too much and be extra nice. As much as I appreciate it I wish that everyone wasn't acting so kind. Its my fault Harry left, it's my fault he wasn't feeling good. I should have been there for him, helped him through everything. After Harry left I went online to try and find out more on why he left, I know I wasn't reading him well at all but I was sure there was more to it. And I was right.

The first night after Harry had gone I saw multiple articles that were recently posting talking about how bad of a boyfriend Harry is to me and bashing him about random things that don't even matter. At that point I wasn't even mad. I was more upset, upset that he felt like he couldn't tell me and upset that I didn't realise.

Of course I texted Harry, I tried to call him and apologise. But it kept going straight to voicemail. There was no contacting him.

So now with only a week left of the first leg of the tour I am stuck here in my hotel room alone. Wishing I had Harry with me, wishing I hadn't messed up and lost the one thing that meant the most to me.

===

:(

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- S xx

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