Shadows || VKOOK ✓

chapter || 01

◐| chapter one; gazing is gentle.

The sun is too bright today but I like the distant feel of it across my face as I lay sprawled in front of the large glass window from which the light streamed in. With my eyes closed and face placid no one could have guessed that my heart was pacing at an abnormal rate as if I had run miles at length with no break. But my fast beating heart couldn't be heard out loud. It didn't fill the silence of the room like most tangible objects did with their sound. My heart was beating steadily fast, ringing in my head like the times when speakers resonated; filling the air with a shrill noise that makes you want to cover your ears. I wanted to block out the noise of my heart but if covering ears could help my cause, I would wear ear-muffs in summers too. But I didn't. Because nothing helped. Nothing ever did. Not with this. Not with my pacing heart.

Nothing helped, except him.

As if on hearing my thoughts, he walked into the room still wearing his night wear. He hadn't noticed me yet as he walked towards the sofa with his eyes still partially closed. His clear skin glowed with morning freshness, accentuating his sharp but soft features. With his dark hair tousled and cheeks light pink due to cold, his innocence reflected off of him. The grey shirt he had worn to bed last night was stuck to his chest, probably because of sweat. It was normal for him to get up in cold sweats. The black trunks hung loose on his waist and I was surprised that he wasn't curling up in cold. I had a sudden urge to paint him. I captured the sight of him in that moment, a picture to revisit in hours of solitude to ponder over the beauty of his being. In this very moment, with the sunlight pouring in and making the glass of the windows shimmer, he looked like an invincible angel.

"It's rude to stare you know?" He said as he flopped down on the sofa and rested his head on his arm to gaze at me lazily. He still hadn't opened his eyes, but I guess anyone could feel the weight of my gaze.

"I wasn't staring." I said still looking at him. I was incapable of looking away from him. He was so beautiful.

He looked at me at that, seriousness reflecting in his eyes. "And now you are lying." He said, his tone playful but edgy. He hated liars.

"I am not." I paused. "I am not lying." I tried to control my breathing and ease my pacing heart. It was becoming difficult to breathe with him looking at me like that. "I wasn't staring. I was gazing. There's a difference." I said matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah? What is it Tae?" He asked as he tilted his head sideways. His eyebrows quirked up, challenging me to speak the truth. But I was good with words. He knew that.

"Staring is rude. Gazing is gentle." I said without a moment of thought and regretted it the moment those words left my mouth.

Jeongguk stared at me.

No. He gazed at me. His eyes were soft as they slid across my body on the floor. I still hadn't gotten up. His gaze pressing down on me so hard that it was stupid to even try to move. He looked at me like he was drinking me in, like I was the drop of water that he craved when he was thirsty.

I gulped, feeling all the nerve endings in my body hum with a pressure that seemed to settle on my skin because of Jeongguk's presence.

I got up hastily. "I should probably go freshen up." I said as I walked towards the door of the room. It was easier to run away before things got too intense. I had only just reached the threshold of the exit when I heard Jeongguk.

"I was waiting for you to come to the room last night." He said it like he was whispering a secret in the dark of the night.

I didn't turn around to look at him. I couldn't. And even if I could, I knew I shouldn't. I gulped.