The Truth

Chapter 1

Castiel woke up in complete darkness, gasping for breath. He immediately felt panic as he tried to clear his head, groping around and coming in contact with a cold, hard floor and the smell of stale death. It only took him several moments to understand that he was again in The Empty; a familiar place to him. His head hurt, his heart hurt, and he had never wished to fold himself into eternal sleep more than he did right now. He collapsed on to the concrete and let the coolness of it soothe his face for a moment as he collected his thoughts, eyes closed, breathing shallow and labored. All he could think about was Dean. He felt frantic. Lost. Shaken. Suffocated; he had expected to be at peace after his confession, but now that he was awake, his mind and his heart were screaming in pain. However, he didn't have more than a second to drown in his sorrow before he heard Jack's voice calling to him from somewhere up above.

"Castiel, it's time to come home."

Cas couldn't see Jack, but he suddenly felt a warmth, and felt himself being lifted gently from the darkness. He allowed his body to slump over, arms dangling by his sides, head hanging, eyes closed. He felt warm air caress him and ruffle his hair, and his reaction was to then raise his face upwards, and breathe deeply as he recognized the dewy smell of Heaven as it drew closer. It eased his breathing a little, and he clutched his open trench coat with both hands, relaxing his wings so that black feathers draped down his back and brushed his shoes. He became aware suddenly that The Empty had discovered his escape and heard Her screams of rage, but it was just a distant echo now as he finished his ascent and found himself on the floor at the foot of God's - Jack's - chair. A familiar room, full of light but also full of bad memories.

"Castiel?" Jack's greeting was a surprised, questioning whisper as he knelt down and put his hand gently on Cas's back.

Cas allowed Jack to touch him as he remained in his chosen position; knees pulled up to his chin, face buried in his arms, cocooned in his wings. His sobs were silent, but his shoulders shook as Jack proceeded to reach into Cas's mind to find the source of this alarming pain.

As he gently read Cas's thoughts, Jack's eyes widened and he abruptly withdrew his hand and wrestled Cas to his feet. Cas's eyes were red, his face swollen from tears.

"You - told Dean that you loved him?" Jack inquired confusedly, his eyebrows furrowed.

He watched Cas wrestle with a response and probed further:

"but - he didn't say it back. So...you think he doesn't love you the same way?"

Jack didn't understand this. Didn't Cas know? He had to know that the feeling was mutual after all this time? Jack thought everyone in their family knew. He stared at the floor, contemplating the conundrum. This was complicated.

"I - you have to let me go back", Cas responded, "I need to fix it. I need to finish this. I thought I was ok leaving it the way I did, but I'm not. I'm not." The misery in his eyes made Jack upset.

"Castiel, I need you here. I need you to help me to rebuild Heaven. You will see Dean again in time." Jack looked at Castiel again inquisitively; he wasn't as confident in his mind as his words had sounded. He had never seen his father so weak and so broken, and he wanted to help.

"Give me one day," Cas pleaded, "just one - please. And I want to be human - I need to feel...everything. Let me say a proper goodbye." He steadied his gaze, locking eyes with his beautiful son - with the new God. He swelled with pride underneath the pain, and it was a welcomed feeling - a moment of relief.

"You've never asked me for anything Castiel. And you have given me everything. I will do this for you."

Cas collapsed back on to the floor in a heap of gratitude. "Thank you, Jack." He looked up as Jack gave him a small smile and snapped his fingers.