The Truth

Chapter 6

They drove in silence for over an hour. Cas didn't ask where they were going - Dean seemed to know right where he wanted them to be when they said goodbye. His heart pounded hard as the rumble of the Impala filled his ears like a familiar song, and he closed his eyes to concentrate. He wasn't sure what he was going to do when they arrived at their destination. What would his last conversation with Dean be like? He didn't think there was anything he could say that would ever be enough.

Eventually Dean pulled the Impala off of the main road and drove down a small, tree lined lane that led to a dead end. Cas looked at him; Dean had his jaw set firmly, deep in thought, as they reached the end of the road.

Once Dean got out of the car, he trudged silently forward through the long, snow covered grass towards the small path in front of them, and Cas followed. He shivered slightly in the cold and wrapped his arms around himself for warmth; he had left his coat at the bunker.

Finally they reached a break in the trees and Cas found himself standing next to Dean in a beautiful, starlit clearing. Ten feet in front of them was a drop off that led down to a valley shrouded in shadow, with only the tree tops below illuminated by the shining light from the sky.

"It looks like you can see into forever, doesn't it? Like you could almost see heaven from here?" Dean said, looking up at the sky and breaking the silence between them. "This is where I've come every night since I lost you, Cas. Sometimes I bring a bottle, and sometimes I don't. I wish I had been here last night when you found me, instead of at that roadhouse; this is a much better place to say I love you, isn't it?"

Cas put his hand softly on Dean's shoulder.

There were tears in Dean's eyes now, and his voice had deepened and faded until he couldn't say any more without breaking. His shoulders slumped, and he stood awkwardly next to Cas, unsure what to do next.

Cas moved to put his hands on Dean's face, and Dean abruptly pulled Cas into an aggressive hug, burying his face in Cas's shoulder.

Maybe words aren't important. Maybe this is all we need, Cas thought.

Soon he felt a presence behind him, and he moved away from Dean gently to turn around. Jack stood there, patiently waiting for Cas to notice him in the starry silence. Cas knew that Jack was visible only to him, and so he stood still, acknowledging Jack by making eye contact and nodding softly.

"It's time to come home, Castiel", he said. "I'll be waiting." He motioned upwards with his eyes and made eye contact with Cas again to make sure his request was clear.

Jack disappeared as quickly as he had come, but Cas realized right away that he had been given his powers back. He was no longer cold, and he sensed Dean more keenly.

Cas had regained his wings, too, and for a moment he felt exposed. He had never appeared this way to Dean before. It was a stark reminder that they were from different worlds, and for a moment, his wings also served as a symbol of the fragility of their relationship and the time it had taken for Dean to trust him because of what he was. But it eventually turned in to love, he thought. He was trying to reason with himself.

It was because Cas was an angel that he could be here now, but it was also the reason that he had to say goodbye, and the bittersweet memories from their years together suddenly made Cas feel exhausted. The heaviness of his wings weighed him down unbearably as he trembled, and he was unable to look Dean in the eye as his mind swirled with conflicting thoughts.

Dean was surprised when he had looked away for a single second, only to look back and see that Cas had wings. It made his breath catch in his throat. In all of the years that they had known one another, he had never seen Cas like this. He could tell that Cas felt uncomfortable, and Dean wished he didn't. He wanted to tell him that he was perfect, but for a moment he was lost for words and all he could do was stare.

"Cas. You're...beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Can I...?" Dean finally broke the silence between them and reached out to touch the raven black feathers of Castiel's wings, breaking Cas out of his melancholy trance entirely with those few simple words. Cas nodded, bringing his shining blue eyes back up to make contact with Dean's bright green ones, and Dean was immediately lost in their glowing, celestial depth. The moment was euphoric for them both as they allowed themselves to feel, stripped down to raw emotion. If only they had been able to experience this years ago...how different things could have been.

They held a steady gaze between them, both lost in thought, as Dean slid his hands down the soft wings, moving closer and closer until his forehead touched Cas's and he closed his eyes, breathing shakily. And in a moment of confidence, Cas wrapped both of them inside the ebony softness of his wings, pushing their bodies together, and searching for a kiss. Dean ran his finger along Cas's bottom lip before giving in to it, immersing himself in everything that was Cas and absorbing every last touch and emotion hungrily.

Their kiss was passionate...deep...frantic. Dean buried his hands deep in Cas's feathers, and Cas thought he would lose his ability to breathe; the feeling was exquisite. He felt his body weaken with longing, knowing that he had to pull away or he would be lost again, unable to do what he knew he must.

Tearing himself away took every last bit of strength he had left and he had to kneel to catch his breath, eyes closed, steadying his mind. This isn't over yet, he thought, and the idea brought him comfort.

"Dean Winchester. I will be waiting for you when you come home", he said breathlessly. He looked at Dean again and saw peace in his eyes. It made him warm to see that, and it brought closure to the moment that he had craved without knowing it. All he had really wanted - all that he had needed - was to see Dean happy. And to know that Dean loved him and that he was the key to his hunter's happiness was more satisfying than he could have ever fathomed. He only wished that all of this didn't have to be so bittersweet. But he supposed that was the way that things had always been with everything for the Winchesters.

"I love you, Cas", Dean whispered. He blinked slowly and a small smile hovered on his lips as he memorized this last moment.

"I know," Cas whispered back, and he spread his wings towards Heaven, ascended upwards, and got lost amongst the stars.

And Dean picked up his phone to call Sammy. He owed him one last hunt