The Truth

Chapter 4

It was always hard to tell what time it was in the bunker. When Cas opened his eyes sleepily after what seemed like mere minutes, he first checked to make sure that Dean was still next to him before looking over at the clock, which read 6:30pm. His heart sank a little - they had slept the entire day away. But when he glanced back at Dean again, sleeping more peacefully than Cas had ever seen before, he could hold no resentment at the way they had spent their day.

He rolled back towards Dean again, burying his face in his neck and planting small kisses behind his ear. He smiled softly when he felt goosebumps forming on Dean's back. Dean mumbled quietly before his eyes fluttered open and he rolled on to his back, pulling Cas on top of him gently and cradling his face in his hands as he blinked slowly, letting the world come in to focus.

I can't live without this, now that I know what it's like to have it, Dean thought. He was surprised that this thought came to him so matter of factly. He knew he would die to keep Cas forever. Cas was his angel now in every way...no longer just his protector and his best friend, but his lover and his happiness. And he knew now, more clearly than ever, what Cas's words had meant before he had been pulled into The Empty.

But the difference was that Dean knew that his own happiness was in the knowing and the having with Cas; he had surrendered completely to it now, and he didn't want to fight it. And the peace that he felt thinking about finally letting go of a mortal life, and ending his fight as a hunter made sense. His heart would break to stay here alone. He had given the world enough, hadn't he?

Sam had Eileen now, and somehow he knew if he talked to Sam about his revelations and his decision, that Sam would be angry at first - he would fight him - but then he would accept it. And Sam would be able to live the type of life that neither of them ever dared to think that they could have once he was gone.

Dean returned his thoughts to the present and rewarded Cas's sudden exploratory kisses with light caresses up and down his back before burying his fingers in Cas's hair again and rolling his body upwards into him as they kissed, eyes closed tightly, surrendering unapologetically to the love he felt for his angel.

-

Dean wandered into the main hall of the bunker a short time later and was met with a table that had been set for two - two plates, two sets of silverware, and two lowball glass arranged next to a full bottle of expensive whiskey. Sam, you son of a bitch, Dean thought affectionately, and shook his head, smiling.

Upon further investigation of the set up, he saw that Sam and Eileen (probably Eileen mostly) had left snacks, and Sam had left a note: Figured you would be hungry. Be back with real dinner soon - enjoy. -Sam.

Cas joined Dean in his observation of the scene before them.

"Let's have a drink", Dean said, and grabbed the bottle of whiskey as he sat down. Cas followed suit and sat across from him.

Once they both had a generous pour of the liquor in front of them, Dean raised his glass to make a toast.

"To us, Cas."

Cas met Dean's glass halfway, and the sharp clink of the glasses was almost deafening as they sat in silence, both thinking about the heaviness of their impending circumstance.

Dean downed his entire drink immediately and stood up, placing his hands on either side of the empty glass on the table.

"Time for some music", he said, and a smile played in the corner of his mouth as he winked at Cas, who smiled back.

Dean wandered over to the record player in the corner and thumbed through the record collection - some were his and some had been at the bunker when they had moved in. And although his intention was to perhaps put on something new to make the memory of this night unique, Dean settled on Led Zeppelin, wondering instead if Cas would recognize it. And after placing the needle down, and hearing "Stairway to Heaven" begin playing with the familiar crackle, he wondered if he would regret the mood that he had just created by putting on this particular selection. But he held fast to his choice and wandered back over to the table, pouring another generous glass of whiskey and promptly drinking it down as quickly as the first.

"Stairway to Heaven", Cas said quietly.

"What, Cas?"

"This is...Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin."

"It is." Dean looked intently at him.

"It's on the mix tape that you made me."

"So you listened to that?"

"Yes. Many times." Cas lifted his glass to his lips and drank the rest of its contents before pouring a second one and drinking that, too.

"Let's finish it", Dean said flatly, reaching intentionally for the bottle again.

"Yes. Let's."