"We Are All Searching For Someone Whose Demons Play Well With Ours"
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October 25th
Dear Red,
I'm nervous.
Not a lot of things make me nervous like you do and that's something that's new to me. As a writer I should be good with words, in fact, my entire existence should be indulged with only words, my blood should flow with pronouns, my bones strong with adjectives, my skin thick with synonyms, and heart pumping with antonyms but as I write this nothing comes to me.
I saw you today, for the first time ever and I had nothing to say.
Do I regret it?
I think there's a part of me that feels like years later I might look back at that moment and wished it had gone differently but what's a life without regrets right?
I feel like you know a thing or two about regrets.
Or maybe it's just that twisted hopeful side of me that wishes we have something in common. Something at least unexpected that'll consume us one way or another and I'm the type to think a lot about the things that consume and I wonder if you are too?
Just what does it take to be the one filling your thoughts and consuming your mind?
Just what will it take to be the one you lift those beautiful brown eyes to look at?
Just what will I have to do to be the one thing that'll consume you?
Do you believe that the things we let consume us have a beautiful way of draining us dry?
I do.
I truly believe in drowning in what obsesses us, not for the sake of losing sanity but for the sake of feeling something, anything at all.
Many fear such sensations, like drowning but have you ever thought of it in a more simple way?
When our respiration blocks there's a rush of blood that begins to fill our heads until an aching and pounding sensation begins to play alert signals in our ears, our heart beats accelerate...
Doesn't that sound familiar?
Sounds a lot like love, don't you think?
Oh how I'd love to simply sit and converse into such topics with you, to know the depths of your thoughts, your opinions, your emotions...
But I can be patient, Red.
Yes I can be, for you, yes.
I'm willing to wait, willing to prepare myself for you.
Before we reach such a level of consumption I believe there are a few steps we have to take, things we have to let go, sacrifices we have to make.
I'm ready but I don't think you're ready yet, in your eyes I can see it, I can feel it. You're too attached to what you have now, to what you think you can't live without but I'm ready to show you, my dear red, that you won't need all of that, you don't need anything other than what you chose to let consume you.
I just wish I could've told you how beautiful you looked today.
You truly are beautiful and a beauty not many can understand.
I still can't get my head wrapped around the fact that someone like you exists in this fucked up world we live in.
But the funny thing is that amidst this fucked up world you exist which only means, Red, that you're just as fucked up as the rest of us.
The only difference is that you're damn good at hiding it and like every young girl awaiting her prince charming, you're waiting.
You're waiting for me to help you discover this side of you, a side I'll gladly hold your hand as you unleash. A side so beautiful, raw and vulnerable...
I'll be the man to change your perception of the world we live and love in. What's the point of suffocating on your own when we can suffocate together?
Wait for me, Red, and I promise you, I'll come right to you.
Yours Truly,
JJK♥
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♤A/N♤
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🖤Hello My Lovely Angels 🖤
What did you guys think about the first letter?
I'm curious to hear your thoughts because it's the first of many😏
I hope you enjoyed it but wait...it's a double update 👉🏾👈🏾
