Lance Oneshots

What are the odds, right?

"Slav tells everyone there is a high percentage/ chance of Lance killing himself. The team ofc is doubtful and worried. They start to pay attention to Lance and notice how much they have damaged him."

-Book_Junkie (AO3)

Lance felt like shit. It wasn't that the mission had gone particularly bad - they had actually succeeded easily and finished in almost record time. He just couldn't help the heavy guilt that he hadn't helped enough.

He didn't manage to get any of the others to listen to his ideas (which in his opinion probably wouldn't have helped anyway) and almost every time he tried to do something one of the others always beat him to it. Every enemy ship he came across Keith beat him to, every idea he came up with Pidge had already improved and proposed, every time Keith tried to do something reckless Shiro always calmed him down better. He couldn't even be a good shield for the others since Yellow was sturdier, Red was faster, Green was a smaller target and Shiro was a better Pilot to begin with and thus didn't need his help.

He just couldn't help the idea that he wasn't enough. His Mother had always told him he was an overachiever but as soon as he got to the garrison he began doubted whether he could really achieve much to begin with. Being stuck living with a bunch of aces hadn't helped that at all. 

He vaguely heard someone on the team talking to him but it sounded like some sort of joke from the tone. He felt too drained to bother translating it and just hummed a nonchalant response before numbly drifting away towards his room.

He hated feeling numb. It was like he was floating around but with a ball and chain tied to his chest, preventing him from escaping it. He wanted to hurt himself, to mark his body as punishment, but he could bring himself to care enough to find something to cut himself with. He hadn't done anything like that since they came to space and he didn't think Blue would appreciate him using her bayard for that. Instead he just lay on his bed, drowning in his guilt and regret. 

After the mission, the comms had been filled with excited chatter, even Keith was being more vocal than usual. They'd split off to land in their respective hangars before piling together in the kitchen while Coran and Hunk began putting together a celebratory meal. Shiro was quietly sipping some nunvil to the side as he fondly watched Keith and Pidge playfully rough housing while Hunk gave an enthusiastic retelling of the mission to an enraptured Allura.  

"-And then Keith destroyed the lead ship and it exploded like fireworks. Man, it was beautiful!" Pidge nodded in agreement from under Keith's elbow, "Mmhm, we're definitely getting more efficient. Would've been quicker if Blue boy wasn't spacing out so much."

Keith glanced over to Lance to see him staring into the middle distance and laughed, "See he's not even paying attention now." 

The others chuckled to each other before launching back into the conversation while Lance slipped out of the room. 

Slav climbed onto Shiro's shoulder to lean on the top of his head, cutting across Pidge's point about the new upgrades she'd given to Green, "The Blue Paladin is quite an interesting case actually." 

Shiro sighed, clearly preparing himself for one of Slav rambling discussions. "Slav, I don't think Lance would appreciate-"

"The Blue Paladin actually has the second highest chances of death out of all the Paladins at about 76.4% and is the most likely to end his own life. The chances of that are about 83% is 56% of realities." The room had gone completely silent. All eyes were on him now. 

Noticing the new attention on him, Slav continued, "He also shares one of the highest chances of suffering from a mental illness with the Black and Red Paladins."