take it how you want it (take on my love) // carmuel one-shots

the visit

description: set six months after season 3, samuel shows up at carla's new place with macaroni (for a prompt fill i received)

rating: teen

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Samuel is regretting the macaroni.

The London sky is dark and grey, and big, fat raindrops are currently falling from it at a slight angle. But the way his hair is plastered to his forehead or his shirt is soaked through and clinging to his chest isn't why he's regretting the slightly warmed plastic container of macaroni held in his hand. He's regretting it because, to put it simply, it's stupid.

He thought bringing it here with him would be... charming, he guesses. Maybe an olive branch. After all, Carla did say that as long as he brought it, he could visit her, right?

The thought that she was probably just joking in a final sad, nostalgic remembrance of what they could have had together hasn't crossed his mind until now. It would've been helpful if it occurred to him before he got onto the plane. It would've been nice if it struck him before he threw together this meal in his five-star hotel suite's kitchenette, which he only has because Guzmán had paid for his trip here and wouldn't take no—or a cheap motel is fine, seriously—for an answer.

Maybe he'd feel less ridiculous if he didn't take too long to visit. If it was still summer vacation, and therefore only a few weeks since he last saw Carla, this wouldn't seem so wildly inappropriate all of a sudden; he probably wouldn't be getting drenched from head-to-toe, either. It's been half a school year, however. He and Carla have barely been in contact whatsoever, and this spontaneous arrival at her apartment in Chelsea is only happening because Lu of all people had encouraged him to come, and then promptly gave him Carla's address.

He digs his phone out of his pocket with his free hand and double-checks that he's in the right place, just to be sure. If part of him is hoping that he's not because that means he'll have an excuse to toss this stupid Tupperware away and hole up in his hotel room, then so be it.

The address is the right one, however, and like his phone knows he's liable to convince himself it isn't anyway, the picture on Google matches the building he's been standing in front of for the past ten minutes too.

Once, he told Omar that he has a fear of rejection. While plenty about Samuel and his life has changed since then, that fact certainly hasn't.

But if he turned tail and went back to Madrid with nothing to show for it, Guzmán would probably kill him, and he doesn't doubt that Lu could manage to do even worse despite the six-thousand kilometer distance separating them. Besides that, he definitely would never forgive himself for letting Carla slip away from him for the third time, especially since he knows now that she at least wants to see him.

She might be mad it's taken him so long. She'll probably tease him for the macaroni. He can live with both of those things, as long everything works out in the end.

With a deep breath, Samuel finally walks up the steps to Carla's building and ducks inside. The doorman sitting behind the lobby's desk gives him a suspicious once-over, which Samuel is sure he probably deserves—he knows he currently looks like a walking case of pneumonia—but the man ultimately just nods at him and lets him continue along. Wanting to give himself at least something to focus on, Samuel takes the stairs to the fourth floor instead of the elevator.

He still finds himself standing in front of Carla's door faster than he expected. His heart seems to be pounding in his ears. He wonders if she felt this way before he opened his own apartment door and found her standing across from him, face covered by her hands.