scarred || l.h

↠ p r o l o g u e (( p a r t III ))

↠

trust.

that's what they tell me.

how?

how can one trust,

when one isn't fully open with another?

well, my friends,

i learned that the hard way.

and now, i don't know what the hell is going on.

him.

it was him who ruined my life.

it was he who did those few things,

who said those few words,

that ruined my life.

"i love you", he once said.

"i hate you", he said the next.

but it was all jc's fault.

really, he's the one at fault here,

because he's the one who proofread my life.

he's the one who made my life the way it is now.

it wasn't him, it was the other him.

because jc makes our lives.

he made him say those things.

he made him do those things to me.

he made me frail,

weak,

afraid;

but just in general,

tired.

yet we all trust him with our lives.

like i said,

i'm tired of this.

i'm tired of fearing things.

maybe i should tell you what things i'm talking about, or else you wont understand,

but they can wait.

right now, i'm going to tell you a story about trusting people.

don't trust people - the end.

that's my story.

i chose how long it was.

i chose everything about it.

i made it three words.

i proofread it -

no,

not jc,

not my best friend,

not my mom,

not my dad,

me.

i did.

it's my story,

i can do whatever the hell i want with it.

isn't that how it is?

yes, in writing business,

no, in reality.

i have two things in life that bother the shit out of me:

1. not being able to make our lives how we want them.

2. how trusting people is essential to life.

3. bullshit.

i know, i said two things,

but again,

i'm the one writing here.

i can do whatever i want.

my point?

life sucks.

its unfair.

if you ask every average teen in this world how their life is,

i shit you not,

all of them will say it's fine.

ya know why?

because how the hell do they know they can trust you?

of course they'd lie to you,

you're a complete stranger to all of the teens in this world!

how the hell do they know you won't go around telling everyone that their life sucks?

999999999.999999999% of them are lying because they don't trust you.

i,

am one teeny tiny fraction of those 999999999.999999999% who can't trust.

even though my fraction of that is small,

i've got a shitload story to tell you.

it'll take up more than 999999999.999999999% of your time reading.

so get comfy my friends,

because you are about to read a story of my life.

written,

by me,

your new best friend.

don't wanna be my best friend?

sucks to be you,

cause ya know what?

everything's just fucking unfair.

↠

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© a l e s s i a 2015