The One for You

Chapter Three

A/N: We're just gonna pretend i didn't just drop off the face of the earth for a few months with this story- I'm not in to Haikyuu anymore as much but I'm dedicated because i have a whole plot line for this fic so i cant just give up lmfao so lets get RIGHT INTO IT

*In case you need a refresher, the last chapter ended with our baby Tadashi walking in on Kei and Kuroo in the bathroom getting all hot n steamy 😋

     Tadashi couldn't believe what he saw. Was he just hallucinating? Dreaming? He pinches himself and feels a flash of pain. What he had seen was real, and Tadashi's stomach heaves at the thought. He needs something to make him feel. Something that hurts more than seeing Kei and Kuroo intimate like that. He stands up and forces his numb legs to walk over to his desk.

~*~*~*~*~*~ TW!! THIS NEXT PART CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF HARM. SKIP TO "Yeah sorry, give me a sec!" IF THIS IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU!!!

He falls into his chair, slumping over and absentmindedly rummages through his drawers. His fingers fall on a pair of scissors. He stops his hand, hesitant about what he's about to do. The overwhelming need to feel something.. anything trumped any other emotions as he grabs the scissors and places the tip to his skin. With a shaky breath, he presses it against his forearm. The blade drags along his freckled skin over and over and tears begin welling in his eyes. He doesn't draw blood, quite frankly he's too scared. He hadn't cut in a while... not since Kei had been a constant in his life. "Kei.. that's right... he wouldn't want me cutting," Tadashi thinks. He pulls the scissors away from his skin and throws them into his drawer, before letting his head fall into his arms on the desk. Tears drip to land on the table, and Tadashi distantly watches them catch the light peeking through his elbows as they fall. Pretty, shiny, beautiful. Unlike him. An ugly, unwanted, dull, spotted monster. He breathes a deep breath in, then out, trying to calm himself until he hears the bathroom door creak open. Tadashi stills, unmoving and unbreathing as he hears Kei quietly giggle. He's never heard Kei laugh like that. Tears start spilling out of his eyes quicker now, blinding him as he picks the scissors back up to press the sharp blade to his arm again. He digs it deeper into his skin, feeling but not registering the wet drops that hit his arms as the skin begins to break, blood pooling at the surface of some of his cuts. A know sounds at his door and Tadashi drops the scissors into the drawer with a loud clatter, wincing at the sound.

"Tadashi? Are you in there? A few of us are heading out and wanted to say goodbye!" Sugawara's voice sounds through the door, making Tadashi's eyes widen. "Shit!" He panics, and without much thought slams the drawer shit. He quickly stands and scrambles to his closet as he tries to get rid of the blood, rubbing it into his arms with a sick fury.

"Yeah sorry, give me a sec!" He says, pulling a jacket off of its hanger and slipping it over his arms. He briefly looks at himself in the mirror, pausing to quickly wipe the tears from his face and make sure the sleeves hide his hurt. He wills his face to look normal as he approaches the door in dread. He opens it, smiling big. "Sorry, I just needed a jacket, it was getting chilly!" He says. Tadashi can tell Sugawara knows something's wrong, but he doesn't press it, much to Tadashi's relief. They walk out to the living room, where people are picking up their things to leave. Most of them reek of alcohol. Tadashi sees Kei standing in the corner looking at him, but he ignores him. Instead he makes his rounds, thanking everyone for coming and wishing them a safe journey home.

When everyone is out the door, he shuts it then immediately heads to the kitchen to grab a trash bag. He starts collecting beer bottles and plastic cups lying around. Out of the corner of his eye, Tadashi sees Kei join him in the kitchen and start to help pick up. It's when Kei walks over to put the collected trash in Tadashi's bag when he snaps. "Thanks, but I can do it myself," Tadashi says harshly. He can't be bothered to even pretend to be nice. Kei looks at him like he's grown two heads, but Tadashi turns away, walking to where there's more trash to be collected.