Trials of the Past [Spencer Reid]

9. Precautions

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Frank Herbert

the weekend came to an end on a cold Monday.it's about 6am and I don't have to be into the office until 7:30. I'm still at Spencers apartment and he's still sleeping. today feels off for some reason, but I won't let it affect my good mood. I get out of bed and get my clothes on. I stopped over to my apartment and got some clothes for the week on Sunday. Spencer insisted because he was convinced that this was our apartment. I just laughed it off in the moment, but now it is starting to feel like it.  he means the world to me. I finally have a reason to stay on this earth. he's my reason. I know it's a cheesy grey's anatomy thing, but he's my person. he's my everything. my best friend. my lover. and love of my light. I got dressed and wrote Spence a note. hopefully he sees it. 

hey, bubs. sorry I left so early. I wanted to get you so of your favorite coffee and favorite breakfast. you have to start eating breakfast, its bad if you don't. I'm going to make sure you do. no matter hope much you hate it. I'm here for you. remember that. I love you so so much, you be good. <3

on my journey to get me and Spencer breakfast, I get a call from his. "well, good morning sleeping beauty. how did you sleep?" I say excited to hear his morning voice. "alright, but I woke up empty handed. where did you go?" he groaned. "I'm getting us bagel sandwiches, from that deli we love. and coffee. did you not see my note?" he chuckled on the other side. "no, I'm still in bed. I called as soon as you weren't there. you scared me senseless." he said pouting, I could hear it in his voice. "ok pouty face, sausage egg and cheese, cheddar instead of American, and on a salt bagel, right? and for the coffee no cream, but extra sugar." I already knew, but its always good to ask. "perfect, just like you. I love you." he said finally getting up. "I'm not, but thank you. I love you too. be back in like 15. ok, bye." I say hanging up. I head to the deli and get the great smelling breakfast, finally being able to head back. 

I call Spencer to say I'm coming back, but no answer. I call 3 more times. I'm truly panicking at this point. what if Eli got out of prison? what if he got Spencer? I get in a taxi and rush back to the apartment. I call one more time in the elevator. god, please say he's there. he's there and his phone just happened to have died. or he's in the shower and he can't hear my calls. or he's finding it right now as I think of all these scenarios of the good. it better not be anything bad. I get to his level and bolt down to the end of the hall where his apartment was. I knock on the door. again. and again. and again until I start to pound. I finally hear the lock go undone and my heart stops. he opens the door and...

Spencer's POV: 

*a few minutes earlier.

after getting the productivity to get ready after my phone call with Ara, I got another call. I thought it was Ara forgetting her card. "babe, you can use my Apple Pay if you need-" the person on the the other line coughs, it's not Ara. "excuse me, but it's not your girlfriend. its your mothers doctor. I'm so sorry Spencer, she's getting worse. it's gotten worse. she's come down with Alzheimer's. she doesn't know your name, that's how bad it has gotten. I'm so very sorry that this is happening to your family. Spencer? are you there?" I hang up before I can get any more news. I walked right back into my room and sunk into bed. I just broke.  one of the people that mean the world to me, is dying. and theirs nothing I can do to stop it. I cried until I eventually fell asleep. 

I woke a few minutes later to the knocking on my door. I sulked to the door and opened to Arabella's face. "are you ok, Spence? I called you like 5 times." I tried to hide the sniffles with a cough and I knew he wasn't. she brushed past me, set the food onto the counter, and walked into our bedroom. she say the wet stains on my pillow. she knew. "Bubba, what's the matter?". I sat on the bed and crossed my legs. she did the same. I turned away and started breaking down again. she leaned in and wrapped her legs around my neck. "it-its my mom Ara, she's worse." she pushed out of the embrace and cupped my face, wiping my tears. I felt home when she did this. she slowly moved on her back and pulled me into her chest. my body slightly shook from crying so much harder. "it's ok, Bub." she softly rubbed my back  and kissed the top of my head. "she didn't know my name." I slowly looked up to meet her eyes. "it's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember" ara said, squeezing me tighter. "she knows you. you can't give up just yet." I nodded and nuzzled my head. backs into her chest. she rested her head on mine. we both laid here for hours until my sobs finally subsided and I fell asleep.