The Painful Memories | Carmen Sandiego

The painful memories

Author's note:

This is my first story written in English, so sorry for all the mistakes.

A week ago I watched Carmen Sandiego season 4 and it was really beautiful to me. And the relationship between Carmen and Gray, although difficult and painful, ended as it should. I really cried when I saw Gray in the hospital and that's why I wrote this short scene.

★★★★

Sometimes in life, one choice is enough to lose everything. And while you know this is a good decision in many ways, you are still aware of your own failure. Your heart screams every night, remembering the image of cold steel eyes and the sound of scarlet energy.

You open your eyes, hold your breath, wanting to see a certain figure again, but it blurs like a distant ghost. You're trying to touch it, tame destructive thoughts, but your efforts only bring pain. Therefore, when you stare at the hospital whiteness and your hand reflexively wants to reach the illusory dreams, you feel tears on your face that you cannot stop. They carve a damp trace on their cheek, stopping in the brown hair.

You have no strength, because painful memories are primarily a lie of days gone by; moments irretrievably lost. You shouldn't remember them, but you still bear the burden of your selfish, albeit idealistic, deeds.

You're losing her. You lose her forever, and yet you smile, because you let her live the way she wanted. With the mother she was looking for. Yet some part of you is sobbing, hiding in the shadows, striking the wounded soul with all it's might. You scream. And then you see how invisible arms push you into solitude, whispering unreal words. Because when you look at her, you see your own past mistakes. A past that hurts her too much. You run away from it, but it reaches you and makes you feel empty for the first time in months. The darkness changes, because at the last moment you hear a soft voice, all the ghots gone.

First you look in amazement at the window, then the female figure stands uncertainly on the floor. The darkness in the room doesn't allow you to accurately recognize the silhouette, but your heart already knows the answer. When she takes off the hood, you understand that you are just getting out of bed. Now you're torn apart. The woman comes closer to you and you can see her gray eyes. You're already sure. This isn't another dream, no baseless illusion, no manic questions. That is why you want to throw off a huge burden, you have an echo of happiness before your eyes, and yet you cannot say anything. You are afraid of her reaction, you think that with your words she will disappear. So you are silent.

"Gray?"

A soft whisper fills a small room, you still feel fear. The woman in red sits down gently on the white sheets. A tiny hand is too close to your own. Then courage fills the tired body. You smile again tonight.

"Carmen, is that you?" You ask timidly. The companion shakes her head in confirmation. "What are you doing here?"

You don't want to lose her, you try not to let it go away, so you hold the woman's wrist. Carmen doesn't comment on your reaction, she just looks at you. Sad and bad memories fly away with an extraordinary feeling. You both cannot find the right words to describe what connects you and what defines your decisions. You feel as if you are standing in front of the alumni list at VILE academy again. This is when Black Sheep has to say goodbye to you, you can't stop her and overcome complicated disappointment. You are standing there trying to do something, but the loud laugh and the Tigress's firm embrace prevent you from doing so. So you leave your little friend with guilt, sadness and desperation. You whisper soft words and your hands tremble. You have no idea if you'll ever see her again. You close your eyes, but when you open them again, you're in the hospital. This is the moment to explain everything. Are you ready.