luxe (sebastian stan)

Six

Perhaps the most awkward thing to come from the wait to the next event was the fact that Tom hung out at the apartment with Vanna. The first time this happened, it took me completely by surprise. I shuffled out of my room, on my way to the kitchen to make some eggs when I saw that the kitchen was occupied by Tom and Vanna, viciously making out of the counter. Thinking I slept through two days without realizing, I checked my phone and looked at the date, and then proceeded to break up the makeout session by yelling, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Vanna jumped at my sudden outburst and pulled away from the kiss. "Bro!" she hissed, "What the fuck are YOU doing?" I opened my mouth to say a snide comment, but Tom broke up our banter. "Sebastian doesn't need you today, Lola," he then returned his gazed to Vanna, grabbed her chin with his hand and forced her to look at him, "However, I need you." "Okay, well that's nice and all, but I want to make breakfast and not have to watch a fuckfest while doing so," I swatted Vanna on the shoulder, "Can you take it to your bedroom, please?"

Vanna rolled her eyes and hopped off the kitchen counter. "Can you make us something too?" she asked as she led Tom by the hand to her bedroom, "I'm sort of hungry." "Anything for you, pillow princess," I winked and opened the fridge. There was a moment where I looked back to the two of them and I glimpsed at Tom's bruised knuckles. A dull knot formed in my gut as I remembered yesterday and I tried to push it away, but before Tom completely disappeared from sight, he gave me a stern look that told me he knew that I knew. Fantastic.

As I cracked the eggs into a bowl and whisked them, waiting for the butter to melt in the pan, my mind wandered into last night's memories, specifically the car ride. Sebastian told me I was his equal and despite his explanation I believe he was full of shit. It wasn't some confidence thing, personally I saw myself as superior to anybody who looked at me weird, but it was a hierarchy thing. I definitely was below him; he was top dog and I wasn't even a fucking employee.

Then what he said about the relationship, that if we were really in one, that this is how he would treat me. Before the first event, I had my presuppositions on his treatment of me. In the club when we first made the deal, he didn't even want me. He wanted Vanna. So I thought he would treat me as the barrier I told him I was. That he would make me want to leave so that he could get his hands on Vanna, that he would hurt me or torture me or whatever the fuck mobsters do.

But he didn't. He kept up with my hotheadedness and my profanity. He didn't get angry because I got angry and weirdly enough, he made me feel safe. After going in the basement, I wasn't afraid that he was gonna have to kill me because of what I saw, I was afraid of him being disappointed in me and that I would lose his trust. And maybe I did, he never explicitly told me his feelings. Then again, he never told me how he felt. I was emotional enough for the both of us.

I ate breakfast by myself, inundated with these thoughts. Sometimes I got far too in my mind and I bit my cheek or my tongue, which led to a series of expletives before restarting the cycle. The last and most prominent thing on my mind was what he said to me before getting out of the car. He was never going to hurt me. He was never going to let anybody else hurt me. How sure was he on that? I mean, I was thrown into this circus of underground crime because people want to hurt Sebastian, so wouldn't those same people see me as a target? Was the shit Sebastian said about attachments the truth or was there a deeper meaning? Why did he really need a fake relationship?

Vanna and Tom returned to the kitchen as I washed my dish and put it up in the cabinet. Vanna audibly squealed at the sight of her eggs (which I put cheese on to melt because Vanna loves cheesy eggs) and Tom's eyes never left mine. He wanted to talk to me, but thank God Vanna was a conversational cockblock.

"Are you coming into the club today?" Vanna asked me and I furrowed my brow. "Why would I come in?" I asked, "I don't work there anymore." Vanna nodded in between bites, "I know, but sometimes they're so understaffed I just thought you would want to come back for a shift and maybe get some extra cash." She wiggled her eyebrows at the mention of cash, which was a very valid point she brought up. I do love money.
"Would Sebastian even let me go back there?" I asked Tom, leaning against the edge of the sink, "Does he have like a set of rules I must abide by?" Tom shrugged, "He hasn't said anything to me. I can go with you just in case." No. Absolutely not. I do not want to be with Tom alone even for a millisecond. I thought I successfully avoided this confrontation because of the one way window, but apparently Sebastian is a gossipy as my fucking grandma.