luxe (sebastian stan)

Thirteen

"He did what?!" Vanna screamed into my ear. Sebastian left about an hour before I woke up and seeing as I would have no company but myself, I found it fit to update Vanna on the previous night's transgressions. Immediately I regretted doing so. "I told you like three times already," I sighed, smiling as I thought about last night, "I'd rather not go over it again." Rather, I'd go back in time and pull Sebastian in by the back of his neck and kiss him. Maybe then he would still be in bed with me rather than be with his brothers.

Whatever questions I had about whether Gregor or Stelios's thoughts of me were diminished now. Surely I burned what bridges had the potential to be built at last night's dinner, but for some reason, I didn't regret a thing I said. Everybody else already had their preconceived notions of me, they weren't going to change them and it wasn't my job to suck up to them. It was my job to be in love with Sebastian and it became easier every day.

"Okay okay okay I won't ask again," Vanna said and then after a moment's silence, squealed, "But I can't believe it! He did that unprovoked! Lola, you have that man on his knees and what are you doing? Nothing! You're doing nothing about it!" "Hey! I planned on doing something about it!" I defended myself, "He took me by surprise. I didn't have time to react." "Were you thinking?" Vanna asked and I opened my mouth to say something, but she cut me off, "I already know that answer and it's the wrong one. That is not a situation where thinking is allowed. You should've been thinking with your pussy, girl."

"Think with my what now?" I spluttered, not sure if I heard her correctly. "Your pussy," Vanna confirmed, "Listen, you have feelings for Sebastian. That's a given and you don't need to ponder anymore about it. The only thing that's left to do is to either act on those feelings or be miserable until the next fuckable mob boss comes around. Overthinking kills the potential for something great. You need to get out of your head."

"Is that what you did with Tom?" I asked, leaning against a nearby wall, picking at my nail polish. Vanna was lucky relationships came easy to her. She didn't have to constantly be aware that the man who claimed to be into you might be using you to get your infinitely hotter best friend. Every man and woman she pursued gave in immediately into her chase, even if they knew it was going to end catastrophically. She was just that beautiful of a person and a soul.

"Sort of," Vanna answered, "You were asleep and we got to talking and we kept inching closer until-" "Until he was inside you," I said and we both laughed. "Yeah, that was a good day," I could practically feel her grin through the phone, "But I just told him I loved him last night and I didn't even think about it. I just wanted to get it out there and let him know how I felt." "Holy shit!" I exclaimed, "What did he say?"

Despite Vanna's numerous relationships, she struggled with love. Her parents' divorce really fucked her over and it took years for her to even see herself as someone capable of being loved, and even longer to realize that she was capable of loving. The only person she said "I love you" to was me and even then when she said it, there was a hint of trepidation. Tom Holland was one lucky motherfucker, but if he hurt her he was going to be a dead one.

Vanna said nothing in order to up the anticipation, the drama queen she was. "Vanna, I swear to God you gotta tell me or I'll reach through the phone and choke the shit out of you," I whined, "What did he say?!" "He said it back," Vanna laughed, "Apparently he was gonna say it the day we left for Italy."

"Talk about shitty timing," I muttered, watching as chips of nail polish fell onto the carpet. I was happy for Vanna, ecstatic even, but I felt guilty. I had been at fault for so many things as of late, it was a wonder how anybody could forgive me. Sebastian, Tom, Vanna, me. Their hearts were way bigger than mine because I don't know how they could forgive the colossal fuck up that was Lola. I stole Vanna from her first love and if it weren't for our shitty attempts of concealing ourselves, then there was a good chance that I would have destroyed her ability to love all over again.