suicide

letter no. sixteen

dear luke,

im ready.

i have everything panned out

and im ready.

i went to your parents 

house and left a rose

on their porch to

repair the damage

ive done.

i gave anabelle

a dozen of 

roses and hugged her tight.

i began to cry.

she asked why, but

i was out of the room

a second later.

i grabbed a bottle

of vodka from

my bedroom

and a knife from the kitchen.

i was ready.

im at your grave right now

and im sitting right

in front of you.

i could care less 

about the restraining

order, none of that will

matter soon.

ive been sitting here foran hour now

and my bottle of vodka

is empty.

its time.

and im scared.

the voices encourage me

to bring the knife to my 

throat, but im afraid.

what if i dont see

you again?

what if youre in heaven

and im in hell?

it doesnt matter.

ill take the risk.

i love you luke

i really do.

im so fucking scared

i hope you know that.

yours forever,

ahngie xx