There you were

a whole chapter but later-drafts

Hailey POV*

It's my first real day back to work after a two weeks of rest and two more weeks of desk duty. I get in early hoping to be alone so I can find an OB. I as soon as I get upstairs I desk drawer, taking out the paper and going through all the name on the list. I finally narrow it down to two names, I take out a quarter and flip it, tails, I finally found an OB.

" Your here early" I hear Platt says, I quickly hide the papers behind case file and look up at her. "Yup just wanted to get an early start" I say. " you hiding something" she say. " what, no" I say. " then what's this" she pointing to the list of OB's that I didn't hide very well. " it's nothing" I say hiding them better. "It doesn't look like nothing, you looking for a OB isn't nothing, Upton" she says. "It's for a friend" I say. "How far" she asks. I give in because I know she'll find out eventually. " 12 weeks" I say sitting back in my chair. "Congratulations you and your husband must be happy" she says as I make a face. "He doesn't know" she say quietly. "Can I tell you something and you can't judge me or anything like that" I say feeling very vulnerable around her. " yeah, whatever it is I won't judge" she says pulling Ruzek's chair out to sit in. I take a minute to breathe and fight the feeling of tears. " it's okay really" she say placing a hand on my knee. "But it's not." I say feeling the tears well up in my eyes. "I cheated" I say letting out a shake-y breathe, It actually felt good to get it off my chest, like a weight was lifted off me.

"Say something" I say to a silent Trudy." I don't know what to say, why you do it?" She asks. "I needed a distraction from my family and I went to a bar and he was there" I say wiping my tears. "Is the baby your husband's" she asks. "No" letting out a quiet sob. "Do you who the person is". "I know who it is, I just don't want to destroy his life, with my mine" I say. "You have to tell the guy at some point, he deserves to know he has a kid on the way and your kid deserves a father. And you know I love all of you guys up here but this, I thought you were better than that" she says as the sound of the gate opening brings us back. "Trudy, " I whisper, shoving the paper back into the drawer and wiping my tear shed eyes. "Upton you alright" Adam says. "Yeah just something in my eyes" I says walking to the locker room. I get there and lay on the bench and staring up at the ceiling.

"Hailey wake up" I here someone say. I shot up to a sitting position a lotto fast, feeling the dizziness hit me. "You good" Jay say. "Yeah just nodded off, what time it it?" I ask the dizziness coming to a stop. "It almost 8 am why" he asks. "Okay I was only asleep for 30 minutes" I say leaning my head back onto the lockers. "Sorry" we say at the same time. "Let me go first, I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's your life and you can do whatever you want with it. I just know that there's more for you out there, but if you want to stay it's up to you-" he says. "I left him" I say. " You did" he says sitting up. "How do you feel" he ask facing me. "I feel guilty. Like I, in some way made a mistake, I just packed up and left, I took my daughter away from her father. The worst part is that he probably won't even look back, just move on like he did the last time" I says taking a deep breath.

"Last time" he asks. "Yeah Fin has a half older brother, Parker, he's about to start first grade, in August. Parker used to come over and spend the night on weekends" I say showing Jay a picture of Finley and Parker at her newborn pictures. "Fin was so small, but you said used to" he says. "His mom got a job in Milwaukee, but she and I are close, we facetime once a week and she lets Parker spend his summer at the house, while she traveled for work" I say. "You know you have to tell her, before she starts making travels plans" he says. "I know I just don't want to explain to a six year old, why Mama and dad don't live in the same house anymore" I say closing my eye, taking in a much needed breath. "She'll understand if you tell her the whole story " he say giving my shoulder a squeeze.

"Okay what about you? Where are you now, did you have a back up place to go to" he asks. " No I'm at a motel for now, I'll start looking for cheap apartments this weekend" I say. "Come stay with me" he offers. "No I can't intrude" I says. "Your not intruding anything I have an extra bed room you can use, plus I'll be closer to my favorite one year old and you'll be closer to that coffee place" he says. "Are you sure, she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and crying" I say warning him. " I think I can manage, no but really I want you to stay with me" he say. "Thank you" I say hugging him. We've never hugged but this felt natural, like it was a normal thing. Our phone say go off as we're hugging. He loosens his grip on me, taking one hand to answer the phone and the other almost holding my hand. "That was Voight, we got a case" he says standing up and holding out his hand for me to hold onto. "Thank you kind sir" I say jokingly. "No problem my lady" he say tipping his imaginary hat. "No really thank you" I say taking his hand. "Anything for a friend" he says as his bright green eyes stare into my blue ones. "We should go" I whispers hearing foot steps coming towards the locker room.

That night after Voight gave us the rest of the night off, I head to the locker room to grab my things. "Hey" Jay says opening his locker a few down from mine. "Hey" I say putting the rest of my things in my bag. "I was thinking,". "You thinking, now I need to know" I joke. "Haha Hailey, anyway I could pick up Finley in your car and you could start packing your stuff at the motel into my truck. After I pick Fin up I'll come by to help you" he says. "good plan, by your missing one thing" I say shutting my locker. "what?" he says. "food" I say handing him my keys. "Okay I'll pick up pizza, on my way to you" he says as we walk to the lot. "See you later" I say getting into his truck. "And be careful, I love you"