Chapter 1

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A couple of years ago my father was leaving for yet again another business trip, I swear he's always on business trips. I think the longest he has been home was for almost two months. My older brother Charlie and I hated him leaving, but we understand why he had to go.

"Do you really have to go? You just got back home." I said while I hugged my dad as tight as I could with tears slowly falling down my face onto his jacket.

"Don't worry pumpkin I'm only gone for a week and will be back before you know it." My dad said with a smile on his face as he rubbed my back.

He hugged Charlie who was also crying, then kissed my mother on the cheek before saying "I'm off now!" as we all watched him walk out of the house and into his car.

A couple of hours later the phone began to ring, my mom answered and broke into tears. I ran towards her and asked what's wrong. "There was a car accident and Joe... he didn't make it." I sat there shocked and cried for hours, when I came to mom already told Charlie the news and he locked himself in his room.

After that night my mom began to drink and her drinking got worse and worse over the years. By the time Charlie was 16, our mom started to take her anger out on him because he looked so much like our father and she hated him for that. So when Charlie turned 18 he moved out but left me with our mother. He thought he was too young to raise a 16-year-old and that I didn't look like dad so mom wouldn't do anything to me.

It's been a little more than a year now since Charlie moved out, we still always text and FaceTime once a week. He told me everything that was happening in his life, like how he got a girlfriend and is repeating a year of high school, and I told him everything happening in mine which wasn't much, but I kept one thing a secret that I age regress; I didn't need him judging me for the one thing that helps me cope with everything. He always makes sure mom didn't do anything bad to me and she never has except for yelling at me, but I could take that.

*crash*

"What was that!" I jumped out of bed and slowly walked into the kitchen which was where the noise came from. When I entered the kitchen I saw my mom dancing with a drink in her hand.

"Mom what are you doing it's two in the morning." I sighed. "What do you mean I'm dancing!" Still shaking her hips she approached me, took a huge sip of her drink, and asked me to dance with her.

"I'm not going to dance with you, it is the middle of the night and you need to go to bed," I said in a stern voice. But she didn't care what I had to say.

"You're a bitch you know that, you always have been. If you weren't born then your father wouldn't have had such a hard busy job and he wouldn't have got into that car accident." What she said hurt but I tried not to show it because I knew I had to be tough around her.

"I think you should stop drinking so much, you have a daughter and a son you know!" I tried taking her drink out of her hand and got a hard slap across the face. That's the first time she ever hit me. It stung like crazy. Tears started forming in my eyes not because it hurt but because the slap came from my own mother.

"If you don't like me drinking then get the hell out of my house!" she yelled pointing at the door.

"Your not serious, I'm your daughter. Where would I go?" I replied with tears now starting to fall down my face.

"I don't care just get the fuck out!" She pushed me out of the kitchen making me fall onto the floor. She started dancing again like our whole conversation never existed or more like I never existed anymore.

I ran upstairs grabbed my phone, some money, my favourite pacifier and stuffy. I called an Uber and waited for it outside. While I waited for the Uber I tried to decide where to go. I never made friends easily, so I couldn't go to a friend's house. But then I remembered my brother lived alone so I don't think he would mind me staying with him. The Uber arrived and I headed to my brothers apartment.

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