As close as I can be

The beginning of something new

"As I sit here, curled up within my bedsheets with the dull illumination of the holopad radiating over me, I couldn't help but notice it was deadly silent. Then again, that was to be expected; it was 3am.

The bustle and hustle of Watchpoint Gibraltar died down around this hour, and the bases' insulators performed admirably at dampening the blasts of the round the clock air traffic.

Long nights like this used to be reserved for me to do my best work. And yet, despite the various diagnostic reports to pool over and a thousand hours of paperwork to complete, I couldn't seem to focus. Instead, I dwelled.

The information within the pad contained intricate details of a thousand patients. All healthy, all well, something I had seen to. And yet, the only patient I cared to think of was the one who isn't healthy; the one I condemned.

"Genji Shimada." I mutter to myself.

A small knock on my door tears me from my thoughts. Slowly I stand up and fix my hair while walking to the door.

When I open the door, Mccree stands in front of it. "Hello there, good evening Doc! I mean Doctor Ziegler, forgive the disturbance at such a late time," he says politely.

"Ah. No problem Mccree, is there anything I can help you with?" I ask.

He nods. "Today at the Blackwatch training hall, we tested Mr. Shimada's strength," he pauses and looks at me with concern. "You should see for yourself, we made a video. You might want to do a small check on him."

Puzzled by this statement, I blink my eyes. "Yes, I will do so. Show me the way."

He immediately leads me to a room where he shows me the video of Genji.

Starting the video, I can't believe my own eyes of what the holoscreen is showing me. Yet, I see my patient, the patient I cared most about in this time destroying training bots with his bare hands, his only healthy limb, going full rampage. I even flinched when he destroyed the camera.

But the last picture before he destroys the camera is his face. I can clearly see his eyes. He was crying, his look was so full of pain and agony. I wish I could stop his suffering.

"My heart is beating so fast," I say out loud.

"Dr. Ziegler?" Mccree's voice brings me back to reality.

"Yes, I will do a small check now," I say as monotone as I can and leave the room.

Almost running to Genji's room, where he seems to be asleep, I immediately check his hand carefully, not to wake him up. He seems to have a smaller flesh wound. Quickly I sew it and bandage it afterwards. Still, I check the rest of his body.

And with every touch, my heart starts fluttering. Every time I look at his face, I see this picture of him crying, being in pain and absolute rage. Sadness overcomes me, and a tear rolls down my cheek and drops onto his chest. Realizing that I take his hand and push it slightly and very gently. I wish I could treat more than just physical wounds. But as his doctor, this behavior is unprofessional. You can't fall in love with your patient. So, I silently let go of his hand and leave his room.