As close as I can be

The morning after

Slowly, I open my eyes. I groan as I realize that it is morning again. What a night. I get out of my bed with a bit of groaning and struggling out of my sheets. Hearty, I yawn and start my morning routine. The usual - brushing teeth, fixing my hair and putting on fresh clothing. Then I make my way to the canteen. I seriously need a coffee today. Grabbing a mug and filling it with my kind of life juice. Then I silently sit down. Nobody is there yet. So I just enjoy my coffee, slowly sipping it until "Morning, Love!" Tracer comes with her breakfast and sits down at my table "Good morning Lena, how was your night?" I start a small conversation.

"Oh it was good! But you must have been awake for long. Look at the dark shadows under your eyes love. That is not healthy you know, but I don't have to tell you that since you are a Doctor!" she states and grins at me happily.

"Yeah I know." I sigh silently.

She furrows her brow as she starts eating "You know, I admire your efforts for your patients, but you should take more care of yourself also."

"Yeah," I respond with a furrowed brow.

I know she is right, but when it's about Genji, I just can't stop. It's like I just can't rest. After what he has been through. I just want him to recover. Not only his body but also his mind.

After I am done with my breakfast, I walk straight to my office and start working on my patients' files. Around noon, I start my briefing with some patients. My last patient is Genji. Nervous, I stand in front of his room. I fidget with my clipboard and take a deep breath while I think of opening the door, but it already opens and there he stands right in front of me.

"Doctor Ziegler, what are you doing here?" he asks but his voice sounds stern.

"Oh, hello Genji. I am uh, I am here for the daily briefing, you know," I respond fast and nervous.

"Already? Alright, come in Doctor," he says with an unamused undertone.

I feel my heart sink, but I respect his feelings. I wouldn't know what to feel either if I were in his situation. I step into his room, he sits down on his bed. I start checking his body and his new cybernetic enhanced limbs "Seems like everything is fine, except for your hand," I state.

"You should be more care-" he snaps at me "careful?" he says angrily. "Aren't you guys turning me into a weapon? Into this monster I am now?"

My grip around my clipboard tightens "You know, not everyone is against you Genji. I didn't save you to make you a weapon," I try to sound as professional as I can, but his words really hurt me, because in the end that's what they are doing to him. The Blackwatch team.

As soon as I want to talk again, "I am tired of all of your lies Doctor Ziegler. Do you think I am that naive? Do you think my condition is okay? To be no man nor machine?" he bites down his bottom lip.

"I didn't save your life to make you sad," I say breathlessly while my voice starts shaking. "I didn't save your life because I wanted you to be a weapon. I saved your life because it's my profession, something I like to do. Saving people in those times means a lot to me, but thanks to you, I only feel regret because of how ignorant you are to people around you!"

"You know, and here I started to think that this could be a new start for you, into a life you want to have, not something that was forced onto you. Just so you know I have nothing to do with the decisions of the commanders!" I take a sharp turn on my heel "Thank you for your feedback Mr. Shimada!" and leave with that his room and literally run into my office.

Not only that, but I don't want to make a bigger fuss out of it. This situation is a mess, and it's my fault. Maybe I shouldn't have saved him," I continue, getting louder and angrier. In my office, I lock the door and start crying, as a professional Doctor I shouldn't let my feelings get so much in the way, but I am also just a human with feelings.

My feelings are forbidden and for someone who is too bitter to see them, he is so stubborn and just builds an iron wall around him, so nobody can reach him in his cold darkness surrounded mind," I cry so hard until I hear a knock on my door. "Doctor Ziegler are you in there?" it's commander Morrison.

Quickly, I wipe away my tears and go to the sink and wash my face a little with cold water "Doctor Ziegler? I know you are in there, can you open the door? Or am I disturbing you right now?" "No, no commander, you would never disturb one second! I'll open the door," I reply and quickly unlock it.

"What can I do for you, Sir?" I try to sound as friendly as possible. "Is there something wrong? Do you not feel well, Doctor?" the concerned look on his face makes me weak, and I try my hardest to smile a fake smile "No Sir? Everything is well!" I try to assure him, and he steps into the room "Well that's awkward because I heard from some members that you were rushing into your office and that you looked really upset. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"It's just...," I begin, feeling cornered. "Well, actually it's about Genji-," but he interrupts, "I noticed, he seems...furious. His mental condition is very worrying." I nod and swallow the biggest lump I have ever had down my throat "It's just, I don't think it's the right decision to make him work in the Blackwatch Team already, Sir."

He furrows his brow "So you, as his Doctor wouldn't recommend him working already?" I nod again silently "Well, I will talk about this with commander Reyes, but you know he is pretty determined to shut down the Shimada empire, and Genji got all the insider information about this."

"I sigh, "Thank you, Sir, I appreciate your efforts. It's just... I don't think it's right to make him do that, you know, taking him back to the place where he almost died. I just hope you understand that-" he cuts me off "You care awfully a lot about Mr. Shimada Angela."

Am I about to be caught? His words catch me off guard "You are just, what they call you. Mercy. The best Doctor of Overwatch. The amount of care you put

You care awfully a lot about Mr. Shimada Angela," Commander Morrison observes, catching me off guard. "You are just, what they call you. Mercy. The best Doctor of Overwatch. The amount of care you put into your work is admirable," he adds.

I sigh in relief and respond, "Thank you, Sir. I am happy to be praised like that," trying to stifle an awkward giggle. I was almost caught in the biggest no-go as a doctor - being romantically interested in a patient is more than just wrong.