"I'd tried to cut myself from all the passion and hurt I feel for Shehnaz so many times and failed miserably.
I couldn't leave her alone now. I didn't have it in me to."
****
She was the raucous din that spiralled down his sanity, the bane of his s...
First of all, happy birthday to our queen who's been slaying it so much this year! Love you, babes xoxo
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Sana
"Mey toh wahi na, mey terese hurt nahi hona chahti, issiliye tere se distance rakh rahi hoon," I said which was the reflection of my exact thoughts during the past few days. He paused at the foot of the bed, a flicker of emotion crossed his visage and his nostrils flared as if I had gaslighted him though that wasn't my intention.
"Tune khud bola, ki mey kabhi muh naa lagu bahar jaake yeh,woh..."
He recovered from his stance, tearing his eyes away from mine, "Right, right...Sahi baat hai."
"Toh mey kyu apni insult karwavu, jo mere saath...Jo mere saath rehna hi nahi chahta..."
"Right, right, obviously..." Sidharth's fingers dived yet again into his dark locks, still not looking directly at me and I wondered why.
"But mey tera izzat karti hoon kyunki tune chaar mahine mere ko jhela hai, theek hai? That's it"
"Mat kar, mat kar mereko nahi chahiye yeh izzat.Unlogo ki kar, un logo ne bachaya tereko."
With that being said, he'd literally ripped the glass doors open and left. I didn't know what triggered him exactly. Each time we confronted each other, he would simply walk out on me before I could have my share of the conversation. This only reinforced the notion I had for a long time: Sidharth didn't really like to be around me, woh sirf mujhe jhel raha tha.
I was supposed to feel something but I couldn't. I felt absolutely nothing at the moment. Since my emotions had already been juiced out of me over the past week, there was nothing more left.
I had seen enough people in my life to know who meant well and who didn't.
Sidharth's words didn't have venom laced over them even when he was angry like when Paras spoke to me, I could only sense vulnerability as if a small child was calling out to me from underneath the unyielding exterior of Tellywood's most successful star.
I knew that I had done something to trigger him during the weekend, though he made sure not to even drop a clue why. But that wasn't my concern, it was just the fact that he didn't think well of me as I did of him.
He'd very casually pointed a finger at me before Salman sir and accused me attempting to dig out scoops from his past. I didn't know why he thought that was what I wanted. To tarnish his image by linking his name with Arti's. I had just pointed out an observation that Arti might be in love with him (as any other female housemate with us) he also seemed to wordlessly agree but later it threw me off when he twisted my words into something more malicious.
I dragged a sigh through my mouth and leaned against the headboard, closing my weary eyes. I'd never used my brain to overthink like this ever in my life. The more time I spent in the BB house the more I realised that I needed to polish my etiquette. No one saw me as a simple girl from Mohali here. I'm a celebrity and a housemate, each sentence that I speak I will be held accountable for. Even if it is said in jest or in a jovial undertone.
