Sana
I bit my lower lip, lasering my eyes on a speck of dirt on the floor instead of his broad chest. He was blocking the view of the camera, jamming me in between the shelves and himself. I wondered how this intimate position looked to the audience and I shifted to make space.
As if suddenly realising, Sidharth also took a step back, " Bataugi kuch?"
I involuntarily gazed into his chocolate brown irises and emotion surged in my chest, clogging my speech.
I love you Sidharth.
"Hmm?" He prodded impatiently.
Stiffening my shoulders, I tried to compose myself. The reason I get hurt is that I let others know I'm vulnerable. I am transparent and I willingly express my emotions without any filter, And I earned enough consequences in the house just for this trait.
I pulled away from his arms, shrugging. Pretending to be indifferent.
" Jo tune bola, woh sahi hai. Asim aur Rashami k saath mey game ke liye hi hoon aur woh dono mera acha sacha dost hai--" He stiffened as I threw his words back at him.
"--Kyunki jab tum mere se baat nahi karta tha, jab mey sad hoti thi , woh dono mere saath the, mujhe haunsla diya. Toh mey un dono ko aise hi chod nahi sakti. Aur tere saath mujhe ek--Ek tara ki emotional attachment hai toh jab hum bahar honge agar tujhe baat karna hai toh mey bhi karungi."
He scoffed yet his eyes blazed in irritation: "Matlab tum mere se baat nahi karega abhi?"
"Haa, kyunki humari game bohot alag hai aur jab jab hum baat karte hai kuch na kuch hota hai, mey nahi chahti hu ki humara ladai ho..."
"Toh ab kya kar rahe ho?" he demanded, ignoring Mahira who just debuted into the room for her gold stilettos. She had the decency to leave silently at the least.
I met his glare head-on, not affected in the slightest.
"Do hafte aur and you won't talk to me?" He asked softly yet again.
"Yes I don't want to talk to you now, you hurt me," I answered in English, my sneakers grazing against the tiled floor.
He planted himself before me, glaring at me as if I were a puzzle and then dived his fingers into his hair, "Kya kiya maine? Tu hi to bola ki tum mujhe nafrat karti ho, uski baad bhi tum khushi khushi tumhari sensible doston k saath ghoom rahi ho mujhe ignore karke toh mujhe hurt nahi hoga?"
"Kyunki tum mujhe ignore kiya aur bura bhala bola na Sidharth! Mey baar baar sab bhulkar tere paas aathi hu kyunki mey tujhe mera apna samajtha hoon, shayad woh galat hai. Meri hi galti hai."
His arm which was supporting the wall next to my head constricted and his palms fisted. His knuckles were slowly becoming pale.
"Fine!" he snapped and I nodded even though I already felt the loss of warmth as he moved away.
He pulled away only to encircle his arms around my waist, taking me by surprise as he gently enveloped me in his arms. I stiffened, not even wanting to breathe as he rested his forehead on mine.
I could feel his quick breaths fanning my neck and his heartbeats raced. He seemed almost vulnerable and insecure. I had no idea why. I hesitated before slowly bringing my hands up to his back, patting him gently. We stayed in the same position for a few immeasurable moments.
"Sorry," he uttered but it came out muffled.
"Ha?" I asked, genuinely not hearing what he said.
He pulled back, still holding me in his arms and gave me an accusatory stare for making him repeat it, "I said I'm sorry, okay? Jo bhi maine bola maine issiliye bola kyunki--Kyunki mujhe laga ki tum badal jaugi aur shayad mujhe jo bhi--" Meeting my curious gaze, he cleared his throat, "--Jo bhi feelings hai tere liye, mujhe laga woh shayad nahi hona chahiye," he whispered, dodging the mike away for a moment.
I stood still, baffled, "Kya nahi hona chahiye?"
He looked away, turning crimson, "Kuch nahi, forget it."
"Theek hai," I agreed, glad that we had reconciled. I stepped away to join my team and Sidharth moved with me. I thought it was by mistake and stepped to the left and he moved again with me, blocking my way.
"Kya?" I demanded.
"Kya matlab, baat khatam nahi huyi."
"Theek hai, I accept your sorry.Aur kuch?"
Sidharth narrowed his eyes at my dismissive attitude, "Ab zyada ho raha hai moti!"
"Matlab?"
"Mere se baat karne ke liye waqt nahi hai tere pas?"
"Haa, wo task hai na, wo jo--"
"Tujhe kaunsi office jaana hai yaha?" he cribbed in a female voice mimicking me and I burst into a slight giggle involuntarily making him smile as well.
It seemed to me as if the tender way he was gazing at me was completely different from the fond smiles he used to flash during the initial weeks in the house. But I could be wrong as always, I wasn't shrewd enough to decipher people as Bapu used to say.
I offered him a grim simper, "Toh mey aaj se tere se baat karungi aur Asim aur Rashami se bhi, tu mana nahi karega, promise kar."
He hesitated at my outstretched hand, cupping the back of his neck and then sighed.
"Even if you stop me, I anyways do what I want to do," I added with a smile.
"Woh toh hai," he gave in, slapping my palm and then squeezing it lightly, "Par tu mere se normally behave karegi," he demanded.
"Agar tum jaan buchke irritate karega toh mey bhi...Mey bhi revenge lungi," I stipulated seriously and he gave me a blank stare before chuckling and pulling me into a side hug.
"Tujhe jo karna hai karo, par baat kar mere se, that's it."
"Theek hai...Toh mey jau ab?" I asked and he shook his head, a hint of a boyish grin on his face reminding me of the time he did not let me use the washroom, trapping me in a very similar position.
"Sidhhaaaarth!" I whined and he pulled me closer, squeezing me into a rib-crushing hug, probably unaware of his strength.
"Bed change kar ke ja...Gadhi," he whispered almost inaudibly into my ear before releasing me. I almost stumbled and realised that he left wordlessly. I was alone in the room, slightly dazed.
Shehbaz popped in just then, humming something under his breath and checking his reflection. He finally noticed me by the door and scoffed, "Tussi ithe ikalē ki kara rahe ho? Bahara aṇa!"
"Haa, aa rahi hu, tu ja, " I muttered, turning away to conceal the flush of my cheeks.
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I get a lot of posts on my wall and DMs asking me if I'm okay and when I will update. Sorry fam, I know how irritating irregular updates are but that's how I write and I'm not sorry about it because I can't take the story up for namesake even when I don't feel like it. My apologies for the wait. Also, for all those peeps in my inbox criticising the actions of Sid/Sana in the ff and hating on it: relaxxx, it's just fiction.
But anyway, Sidnaaz fandom is the cutest <3 Ur comments are too cute:D
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