pretty boy. yesahi.

chapter 5.

"5, 6, 7, 8"

keep your angles sharp, hold your chin up, remember to show facial expressions, don't jump early like last time, stay balanced-

the music halts. despite its absence, the room fills with gasps for air and groans of tiredness, asahi's included. he glanced up at the clock which made everything weigh more, it was 10 pm already. the mass of exhaustion begins to hit him. staying up late he can now confirm was not a good idea. though as much as his body wants to give in asahi knows he needs to push further, so he straightens his posture and waits for the counts. 

though within a solid ten seconds of resuming practice a heavy thud can be heard, echoing in the room. of course, the music quickly comes to a pause and everyone looks for the source. 

it was jaehyuk. on the floor and luckily conscious but clearly fatigued. while everyone clams around him asahi hurries to get him water, gladly taking the task as it'd give him momentary quiet. some part of asahi surprised it wasn't him who collapsed. though then again this wasn't jaehyuk's first time. jaehyuk would confide in him about his fears of inadequacy compared to the other members and fear of falling behind. so he'd push himself. a lot. he made asahi feel guilty sometimes. for not pushing enough or caring enough. well, he knew he cared, but occasionally asahi wondered if it was his mind's attempt to ease him. so maybe that's why he and jaehyuk got along so well. they made each other feel adequate. made each other feel like enough.

"asahi"

"hmm" he looks up to meet the sharp eyes of haruto, a boy with looks that honestly scared asahi at first.

"it's overflowing"

looking down he realises the water is freely flowing out of the cup he held under the tap, cascading into in the metal basin below. 

asahi stood there still, watching as the cool water ran over his small, frail hands, washing away their light glaze of sweat. it wasn't until haruto leaned over to turn off the faucet that he broke his stare. 

"are you ok? need to sit down?" 

"i'm fine, don't worry"

he could hear the tall boy sigh behind him, not out of physical exhaustion but more like out of bewilderment of him. asahi turned to look him in the eye - or well more up at him - and nodded in an attempt to reassure the boy. haruto just rolled his eyes and hung his arm around the small boy's body, easily engulfing asahi in his sweat and humid air. but asahi didn't mind, it was haruto, the boy he knew since a boy and since then only ever a boy to him at least. towering above him but in his eyes a child he had an unspoken promise to protect. while asahi really knew no more than him, he still feared what an industry built on tv talent, charm, and looks could do to the younger boy's glow. 

"oi, asahi, come on break it over"

he drops the cup off, still full of water, scolding his mind for going on tangents which only makes him feel more hopeless.   

"hey come with me to the convenience store"

asahi looks up from the cool, wood panels of the dance studio to jaehyuk, bent over at a 90-degree angle so his head hangs right over asahi's bleach blonde tuff of hair. he squints up at him, not because of the blinding overhead lights but rather because he frankly cannot be bothered. especially not in cold of a winter night. of course jaehyuk knows this but proceeds to pull him up. though this isn't hard as asahi might as well be half his size. 

"please, i lost rock-paper-scissors to jungwoo so now i need to get us ramen"

"sounds like a you problem"

"true... but your company would make the 2 minute walk more bareable"

"take junkyu or hyunsuk, i'm sure they wouldn't mind babysitting you"

"please"

now asahi would love to reject him once more. but he was there on every walk at 3am asahi took last summer. so he owes jaehyuk doesn't he?

"ok"

a/n

ooops updated a solid half a year later - thank u if you're still reading it means the world to me <3