Shrouded

Ch. 6

(Hey there dear readers,

Just wantwd to give a little warning that the next couple of chapters might be a bit darker then normal. Keep your mental health in consideration. Much love, and I hope you are all safe and healthy.

Much Love,
Lady Thyme)

(Song for the Vanserra Brother’s: When the Truth Hunts You Down by Sam Tinnesz)

Eris

   “What are we doing here Eris?”, Niran sneers as he glances up at the hanging cavern. Itching to grab at his daggers by his sides. His brown eyes flickering with every single movement I made.

   “Training, just as we did in Hedone. It would be a waste to allow ourselves to become stale over these next few decades”, I answered simply. “And I think it’s time we settle some scores between us.”

   Niran snorts.

   “You think this a joke brother?”, I turn to him as I settle four swords on the ground between us. Stolen from the Mountain Guard.

   “Yeah, I do. What is there to settle? You want us to confess sins? We all have a life time of shit we’ve done, Eris. Including yourself. This is horseshit”, he hisses and attempts to leave.

   “Then we better get started”, I was able to collect two swords. Darting in front of the cave entry to block him. “Maybe after all these long years you’ll finally get a chance to kill me. No reprimands down here to stop you Niran. Amarantha might even thank you herself for riding her of me. Wouldn’t you delight in that? Having that glory? Having father’s approval. Finally, not having me in your way to get the throne, little brother?”

   I knew I was hitting all the right nerves when I threw the sword at him and he caught it without hesitation. The storm brewing in his eyes even while he pretended the words washed over him. The one thing you could always count on was that Niran was a terrible liar.

   He moved first and I blocked with ease. Spiraling into the motions and patterns that had been drilled into all of us the moment we could hold a sword. Each of us keeping pace with the other as if it were as familiar as breathing, but it was always Niran who could not pass up every opportunity to draw blood. It was a weakness that came all to quickly the more my words would crawl under his skin.

   I tripped him. Standing firm as he fell on his ass. A hiss of frustration scowled up as I stood above him. My sword at his throat.

   I waited until he was looking me in the eye. Waited until I had his attention fully and completely.

   “You have father’s eyes, father’s soul, and that scares me more than anything in all of Prythian. You want nothing but the respect, but not the work. You would destroy the Autumn Court in less than a month if you claimed the throne. You are not capable of ruling”, I admitted to him. His emotions slacked. Blanked into a sheet of stone, and for a moment I didn’t think he would respond.

    Stepping back, I turned to Tumid and Larken, “We train at least an hour a day. Dueling partners will be different each day. Victors admit a wrong they did towards the fallen. We are brother’s, this hatred we were forced to have against each other, it needs to end.”

   I had never seen Niran as a compliacated male. There was one code he lived by, and that was that if you are going to kill someone, you meet the enemy face to face. Never clever. Never a worker of poisons as Tumid and I were. Never a knife in the back as Larken.

   If he was going to kill you, he was going to watch the life fade out of your eyes, and that was the rule that coast me.

   Barely having enough time to act when Niran crawled up off the ground, and roared up from behind. Nearly skewing his sword through my stomach with rage burning his face red.

   This time it wasn’t play. It wasn’t a game, and his anger gave him enough strength to send me to the floor.

   “I never wanted the dam throne!”, the words range between the two of us against rock and down into the dark. A streak of blood trickling down my cheek where he had been able to get a cut in.

   Slowly the words that came out of him startled and shocked Niran. The tip of his sword that had at all time been steady, it faltered, and clattered on the stone floor below.

    “I – I never wanted the throne”, he mutters again to himself in confusion as he backed away. Looking down at his hands for a moment before a twisted and a gutted laughter rumbled out of him. A laughter that quickly turned into tears. “You think I don’t know that I have too much of that Bastard in me? You have no idea Eris, what it’s like to look in the mirror and see him looking back at you. A splitting image. I wish I could tell you how many nights I’ve just sat in my room looking at the vanity with a knife in hand, contemplating how useless I would be if I simply gutted my own eyes out.

   He pushes me to be the strongest because you refuse to. I know I’m nothing but a brute to you. The stupid brother, and as much as I hate father, at least he can see my usefulness. Even if all I can give is my body. At least he appreciates it, not like you.

   I never wanted the throne Eris. All I ever wanted was for you to see me. To respect me. To see me as your equal in battle, but I was never able to beat you. Well, not until now.”

   I suppose I forgot that this would include hearing things that I didn’t want to.

   Slowly I stood and whipped away the blood from my already healing cheek.

   “I see you now brother”, I say firmly.

   Niran ground his teeth and looked away.

   “And I’m willing to learn to let go of my pride for your sake, if you will allow me”, I offer my arm to him.

   Again, he snorts and role his eyes as he attempts to hide the fact that tears were streaming down his face.

   “Fine, I’ll agree to the training, but I get to tell everyone I just beat your dumb ass”, a small shit eating grin curled over his face. His hand grasping my wrist, as I do the same to him.

   “Fine”, I grumble in return. A firm single shake of the hand and it was agreed.

   And so, it began. The fighting pit was now was our place of confession.

   “I prefer males!”, Larken declared down at Tumid after their first match.

   “And I find intercourse all together repulsive, you really thought I didn’t know that? Really brother, you thought I took issue with your love life?”, Tumid raised a brow. “What about something else, like-”

   “Larken was the one to win, he gets to choose what he admits to, Tumid”, I warn.

   “Common Eris, that’s like saying none of you actually still think that I have more than one partner”, Niran rolled his eyes.

   All of us looked at him in confusion.

   “Wait, none of you knew that?”

   “What are you talking about, we see you at the whore house like every night leaving with someone new. Nice try you bastard”, Larken snaps.

   Niran looked between us for any sign of a joke. None of us had a dam clue.

   “Really?”, Niran cackled. “A simple Glamour spell, and none of you have figured out I’ve been sleeping with the same female for the past twenty years?”, Niran cackled. Especially at Tumid who was the most talented in studying magic’s.

  “No way that is just a Glamour!”, Tumid protested. Taking a swipe at Niran who couldn’t stop laughing at the three of us looking so surprize.

    I shake my head to myself; all these years and I’ve been so intensely worried about everything else; I didn’t even truly know my own family.

  It went on like this for hours. Many things were shared between us four brothers, everything from the most petty of childhood pestering’s to some of the most gruesome and vile of missions that we were forced to do.

   “I cried myself to sleep the night we killed Jasminda”, Niran admitted as we sat and laid up on the cool stone floor of the cave. All of us too spent to even attempt at another fight. Tumid and Larken both nodded in the dark as I watched their reactions. “It’s even worse now, now that I have Ennona. A lesser fae herself, and I can’t help but feel like the Mother’s going to take her from me as payment for killing that girl. I wish I had the balls you did all those years ago Eris, but cauldron boil me I couldn’t stand Lucien. Spoiled brat.”

   I sighed heavily, “Yes well, I’ve had seen what father does to people I hold most dear. I had been in Lucien’s place when I was his age. Young and stupid.”

   “What do you mean?”

   “. . . I was Embry Woods”, I admit to all of them once more.

   “That’s a load of shit. That’s just a retelling of an old peasant tail to make the common folk feel like someone is looking out for them. Nice try you asshole”, Niran scoffs. “Besides the story ends with the High Lord killing all the rebels, if you where Embry Woods you’d be dead.”

   “None of you were born at the time. I was the only heir he had. He couldn’t kill me, but he could make me watch as he had my friends butchered in front of me”, I explain softly. “I resigned the name, and let the story go that Embry Woods was dead and gone, and let myself become the monster father wanted me to be.”

   “He’s not lying”, Larken winces with his head in Timid lap. “I’ve met survivors. Eris explained everything to me when it was my turn to go to the war camps.”

   “Holy shit Eris!”, Niran exclaimed and I smirked at his disappointment that I had managed to become somewhat of a legend. “You’re an ass.”

   “Manners brother dear”, I croon.
   I got a vulgar gestor in return.
  Well, better than getting gutted, I suppose.

~

Melona

   “Alright, let’s start out small”, Jon hums. “Try to make a small ball of light, and throw it at me.”

   “Jon, I really don’t think this is a good idea”, I fidget.

   “Mel, we’re literally in the middle of nowhere. Doesn’t matter if you break shit”, Jon offered.

   “I’m more worried about breaking you.”

   “I’m tough, I can take anything you throw at me”, Jon smiled kindly.

   “I don’t think you get it”, I grumble at him.

   “I have seen you nearly destroy three armies on your own Mel, you do realize that you really shouldn’t be stuffed full of that much energy. I’m surprized it hasn’t killed you yet with how hard you push it under you. It’s starting to get dangerous”; he tries to explain.

   Holding out his hands over the ground. Within moments small beads of red burned in the grass. Blackening a perfectly circular pattern as slowly the dirt turned to glowing beads of molten glass. Which gathered and bubbled up into an orb.

   He drifted it between two hands. Stretching the ball into long slithering bands that swirled in a symbol of infinity.

   “These powers are gifts. Terrible gifts that can be used for the benefits of others. Making tools, art, and beauty”, he spreads out his hand and the steam splits. The pieces flattening into paper thin sheets that laid out in the air like a stain glass window with golden sunlight caught inside it.

   With a harsh wave of his hands those sheets are sent spearing into the nearest tree. Each buried into the thick bark having been cooled and hardened from being shot through the air.

   “But it can also be used as a weapon. Without training it can be dangerous”, he sighs softly. “Without the amount of self-control I’ve learned over the years. I could be very dangerous. I could melt the ground wherever I step. Burn up everything and everyone I touch, and it’s terrifying to have that sort of ability.

   Without learning from my father how to use my gift I would have never been safe to be around. I would have never been able to teach Eris how to handle his own Firestone abilities.”

   “Don’t all the Vanserra boys have the ability to manipulate fire?”, I ask.

   Jon shakes his head, “Yes, but at differing levels. Niran, Lucien, and Eris being the three with larger amounts amungst all seven sibling.

   But Eris. . .

   He has the deeper well. I’ve seen him level cities with the wave of a hand. Forests, fields, enemies. Once while battling in the Winter Court against the Hybern armies he had loured an entire hoard onto on of a lake. In moments the once frozen lake swallowed up the enemy, and drowned them all.

   I’ve heared stories that at his birth Eris managed to snuff out every candle, and fireplace  in the Hedone palace by simply crying as he was born.”

   “He always has to make an entrance”, I laugh fondly.

   “No shit”, Jon rolls his eyes.

   “Was Eris ever afraid of it? His Firestone ability”, I ask.

   “No”, Jon gave an annoyed sigh. “He had the opposite problem. He loved creating chaos, spent himself nearly to depletion a few times. It’s all a balancing act, Melona. You need to meet your power in the middle.”

   Slowly I nod and look down at the black spot on the ground that he had burned.

   Focusing I slowly bent and formed a small glowing ball of my own magic, but instead of throwing it at Jon, I let it drift over and seep into the ground.

   My curiosity satisfied when the blackened spot began to grow, and sprout fresh grass.

  “Well, I suppose that’s a good start”, he gave the grass a strange look. “This is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. Well, alright, let’s try working with this weird healing thing.”

   Looking around the forest Jon found a dead tree, “Remember on the battlefield when you drained all the vegetation around to collect energy. Why not try and take energy from one thing to put it in another?”

   “But I drained it to be used by me. I don’t think I could put into something else”, I squirm at the memory of Hybern soldiers screaming as I shriveled them into husks.

   “Just try.”

   “Fine”, I grumble and sigh as I reach out and attempt to drain and move the tree’s essence over to the dead one. Nothing happened.

   “Maybe resurrecting the dead is too much to ask for”, I offer.

   “That was only your first try. Try again, and this time try and focus on what you were thinking about on the battlefield. Sometime it works better through emotions”, Jon instructs.

   “They were very unpleasant thoughts”, I frown.

   “Well, then try some happy thoughts instead.”

   Happy thoughts. I haven’t had many of those.

    Eris, he’d be a good one to start with. So, I thought of him.

   Thought of pushing that bowl of buttered sweet peas his way at the dinner table, the way he used to look at me with suspicion, and annoyance. The way it felt when he came to my room my first night at the Autumn Court. How gently he had placed that blanket around me by the fire.

   I thought of Embry Manor. How he had saved me from being poisoned, nursing me back to health. How he been so kind, and read stories to keep me company. I remembered how he taught me to dance. The way he laughed so purely he cried beside me on the ballroom floor.

   The feeling of icey water when we swam in the lake. How his lips tasted of baked apples when we kissed for the first time. The same taste on his lips on our wedding day. His russet amber eyes winking when I had pulled away and took notice of it. A small inside joke between the two of us.

   His alabaster skin speckled with red stars along his cheeks and shoulders. My lips counting each of those stars. Ruddy wild curls in my hands by fistfuls as he took me up against -

   “Mel, I think you can stop now. Mel?! Melona!”, Jon yelled. Startling me out of concentration which proved to be fatal. 

   At some point I had shut my eyes as the thoughts curled in my mind. I hadn’t been paying attention.

   I had taken every last drop of life from the tree that had been living into the dead. The now living one full of newly grown bark, and luscious green leaves.

   And with the dead tree drained my powers had slipped and was now rooted into two other trees. Starting to drain them into my focus tree whose roots had begun to expand with golden light.

   Getting freighted out of my thoughts caused me to lose control. With no direction to go. It decided to bust outward.

   The roots under Jon’s feet exploded, and sent his fly through the air a good few feet away.

   “Jon!”, I gasp and run over the hilly ground to get to his side. “Jon, are you alright?!”

   Gasping as he pulled himself up, he held out his hand to keep me back. His hand radiating with heat waves that made his skin glow hot like molten metal. His eyes full of flames that grew hotter and hotter until in one large movement Jon spread open his arms and swept them upward. All the heat and flame shooting from his body, past the tree canopy, and flashed in the afternoon sky as thousands of glittering sparks.

   I watched on in awe from behind my golden light shield before collecting myself while I watched him sink to the ground. Sweating, and panting for air, while all his clothing turned to ash.

   Still partially shocked by what I had just done I shrug off Eris jacket that I’ve worn all these months. Handing it to Jon to cloth himself.

   “I’m so sorry”, I whimper. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Are you okay?”

   “Yeah, I’m good”, Jon laughs softly. “That was. . . Wow! I haven’t had that much of a build up since I was a teen.”

   He takes the jacket and covers himself up with it, “What were you thinking about so strongly?”

   My cheeks heat up as I try to look anywhere else.

   “Eris”, I grumble out under my breath.

   “Oh? Is that so”, he give me a cheeky grin and wiggles his eye brows.

   “I nearly exploded you and you think this is funny?!”, I fuss. Which just made him laugh harder.

   “I’m fine Mel, I’ve had worse than that. You didn’t hurt me. I’m pretty sure you did the opposite to be honest”, he pushes himself up off the ground as I stand next to him. “I’m pretty sure you funneled your powers through me, but we were incompatible. Instead of just flowing down my well it just flared and tried to escape.”

   “Mother above”, I press my temples as I try not to let my mind split at the stain that came for me afterword’s.

   “Are you alright?”, Jon frowns.

   “Just dizzy”, I wince.

   “We should stop then. Probably for the best. Someone might have seen that. Should probably get back down under”, Jon suggests. I nod in agreement as we make our way back to the tunnels of Athalos.

   “Eris was treating you right, right?”, Jon asked while we ventured through the lonely dark tunnels.

   “Of course, well, at first he was a bit harsher, and untrusting. Eventually he became, dare I say, softer. You didn’t hear that from me”, I tease.

   “Right”, Jon shook his head in amusement. “He’d gut me if I ever suggested such a thing. . . but I’m thankful for that. After the raid in our old hide out I only ever heard the stories the common folk whispered. I. . . I’ve never been afraid of Eris Vanserra, but I feared for him. Corruption can be painful to uproot. I always prayed he’d find someone who would see him as he was, not the monster he pretended to be.”

   “What was he like, before? Sometimes I can see splinters of something younger in him, but only briefly, and he always seems to be haunted by it after”, a part of me longed to know this since the first time he laughed with me.

   “Eris was. . . Everything his name sake claims. Eris Vanserra was chaos and wrath given a suit of skin in order to bring change into the world. He had a vigor for life that few dared to even try to experience. Always had somewhere to be, and was always two steps ahead of everyone else. Sharp and precise as a dagger. Could talk anyone into oblivion, and always knew exactly what to say to get his way. Sly bastard”, Jon smiled fondly. “The best and worst part about him is that you never knew what he was thinking. Plotting. You wouldn’t know he loved you until he proved it through devotion, and if he gave you his rage it was a righteous destruction. I’ve seen the common folk grow to be prosperous everywhere he traveled, and those who though themselves superior kissing his boots with nothing but the skin on their backs. Thanking him for his mercy.”

   “You talk about him as if he was a god”, I smile a bit.

   “He was a goddam child about everything”, Jon rolls his eyes. “I think he was like that because he never got to be what he was supposed to as a faeling, and after losing all he had worked so hard to build away from the monster that made him, he just. . . he let the wrathful half of him win all the inner battles.

  For the longest time I couldn’t understand what had happened to my best friend. I couldn’t understand why my brother had turned into what he swore he’d never become.”

   “He never wanted to be what he is now”, I try to be reasuring.

   “I guess there is a difference between what we want to be, and what we need to be”, Jon rubs the back of his neck.

   “I guess so”, I agree as I look down at my leather armour. “I pray there will be a day he’ll get to be what he wants to be.”

   Making our way through the back way so Jon didn’t have to suffer too much in nothing but a jacket. That still didn’t stop Zath from raising his eye brow at the sight.

   “Do I need to ask?”, Zath sighs heavily while pinching the bridge of his nose.

   “You’re the East Wind, shouldn’t you be able to foretell my answer?”, Jon grins.

   “That’s not the way Seer’s work you pain the ass”, Zath glares at the far younger Fae.

   “I slipped up on my training is all”, I offer an explanation.

   “And you happened to strip Jon of all his clothing?”, Zathrian scolded softly. Worry careecing his expression. “Did anyone see you?”

   “Why are you so worried about this?”, Jon teased as he sat on Zath’s desk just to riel the older fae up a bit further.

   “Because have you any clue how bad things will get if other’s grow suspicious of their Lady Consort to Eris, walking around with a half-naked soldier?”, Zath hissed.

   “It not like that”, I try to smile and sooth his worries.

   “Melona, your image is crucial to your ability to rule. Please take this seriously. Yes, you defeated the old council this time, but they have been playing the games of the Autumn Court much longer than you have, please, I beg you take my council to heart”, he expressed as softly, but he couldn’t stop the tinge of fear in his voice. I nod in answer.

   “Thank you”, he nods. “I’m afraid I have one more question that I need in order to perpare you for the road ahead.”

   Sighing heavily, I gesture for him to elaborate.

   “I’m just going to ask this as simply as I can without being too brash. Have you and Eris finalized your marriage through intercourse?”, he simply powered along and Jon gave him a scowl.

    I had to swallow my pride as I gave a slow nod. Heat reaching my cheeks as I tried not to think of it all too much. Fearing that the mating bond would cause me more pain than I was prepared to handle, “We have, but we used barren elixir in order not to make an heir too soon.”

   A mixture of relief, and panic rushed over Zathrian. A sinking feeling heavy in my gut as I realized why.

   “It was you. You forced me into an early bleeding cycle”, I muttered in horror.

   His head bowed in shame, “It was the only option we had. Eris and I expected some sort of trap was being laid up by Amarantha. I could have never thought it would be anything like this, but your safety was our main concern.”

   “Eris agreed to this?”, my heart squeezed painfully in my chest. “If I had been pregnant. . .”

   “Melona, I’m so -”, Zathrian tried to make an apology.

   “Shut your trap”, I order and he did so with a shrinking step back.

   I tried hard to not let the anger rattle my resolve. Tried not to think of my mate’s betrayal, and that of my closest friend. A room full of old secrets suffocating what limits I had left.

    “Eris’, concern has and always be for your wellbeing Reina”, Zath murmured.

   “He promised me that he would not keep such matters from me. He would not force me into any situation without my knowledge and say in the matter”, I seethe as I start to pace the room.

   But I knew Eris all too well, I was the only person he thought he would ever have. He would do anything to keep me from harm. He would lie, steel, cheat, and murder to keep me safe. Even if I would grow to hated him for it. It was in his nature to get his way, one way or another.

   “You took my choice from me”, I growled out loud to Zathrian, and the words rumbled down the bond that shuttered.

   “It was essential in the event of capture that at least one Regent would be available to rule. And to create an heir in the possibility that the High Lord’s family does not survive the events”, Zathrian tried to explain, and I understood clearly.

   “That’s why you suggested I find Augustus. If Beron’s blood line doesn’t survive through his sons, it will through his brother’s son. Even if it’s tainted blood. It will still be through a born Vanserra, and the female married to the name”, I felt my body grow cold.

   The room stood silent. Jon looking disgusted at Zathrian who was too shaken to move.

   I laugh. Laugh as all of the years came hurtling down like a tidal wave of all that had washed over me. All of it.

   “I have been starved, forced to watch my mother tortured to death, taken from my illyrain brother, abandoned, lonely, laughed at, betrayed, sent away, locked in stone, survived cold, and cruelty. I have shed blood, gave up sleep and sanity to raise children, I fell in love and made myself a home, only to be forced to give that all up for the sake of others. I have been sold and bought, I have been hunted for sport, poisoned, and cast aside. I have fought for this court, protected it’s people, and feed them”, each proclamation burned in my mouth and scorched down the bond as I advanced on Zathrian. Grabbing the male by the throat and slammed his body into the wall snarling, “And you have the audacity to suggest that my only worth is to birth faelings from a male whom I do not care for?”

   Zathrian chocked and wheezed under my hands. Giving me no answer but pitiful keening sounds, and a part of me relished in the fear in his eyes.

   “Mel”, Jon called softly from the side. My attention snapping to him and realized that the others had come in without my notice. Augustus and Moros sharing a look of fear. Moros more so than the others. Having experienced my wrath before, but Pomona, she looked more worried then frightened.

   I could feel the tears streaming down my cheek. Harsh ragged breath dragged from my lungs as I slowly let go of Zath’s throat. Stepping away silently to lean on the wall opposite to him. Hands in my hair as I try to breath while Eris slithered and tried to wrap himself around me in some sort of apology.

   “I will speak with you when I am good and ready, Eris Vanserra!”, I shout. Anger still roiling in my gut as I shove him away down the bridge of our bond, “You took my choice from me! You rat Bastard! You swore to me I would be treated as an equal, and not as a kitten to coddle and protect. I have every right to choose where I die Eris, weather that is in the fields of the Autumn Court, or Under the Mountain at your side. I should be at your side.”

   I could feel the protests, the excuses bubbling up from the depths of his mind. A snake poised to strike to prove his point, but as quickly as the anger, fear, and demands of his nature, he went quiet. Sorrow and silent yearning reached out to me.

   “No”, I answered and shut myself away from him, and he didn’t fight it. Sinking back into the dark and silence filled the bond.

   Numb of all feeling I pushed myself up from the wall. Whipping away my tears and standing straight, “I will be in my chambers for the remaining of the day. I have been drained from practice. Have my food rations placed outside my room door. The only intrusion I will except is if we are under attack. If there is anything dire, then just. . .”

   I shake my head and march pass the others, “Moros, you are in charge for the next couple of hours. You’ve got the most life experience.”

   Pressing forward I didn’t stop until reaching the room. Shutting the door behind me, and looked at it. Hating how much it reminded me of Eris.

   “Bloody Imp”, I snarl and kicked off the sheets of the bed angrily.

   Standing there amungst the sheets, and walls run through with thick tree roots, I longed deeply for something to ground myself. Anything to keep my sanity.

   My eyes landing on the shallow wood trays Eris used to separate papers from long ago issues that he never had a chance to look over. Huffing I dumped the papers on the floor, if only to make his skin crawl from the mess. Hoping he could see every last bit of his precious work scattered on the floor.

   Ripping the sides off the boxes I collected the nails that had help them together. Using nothing but my own strength to push them into one of the now flat bottoms. Putting the nails just the right distant apart.

   Laying my work on the bed as I rummaged around a trunk until I found the ball of yarn. Gifted to me only days ago from one of the young girls I had been teaching. Her first full yarn dyed a lovely beige from onion peels, and she gifted it to me.

   Sitting cross-legged on the barren bed I took my time in twisting the yarn over the iron nails. Making sure everything was just right before I skillfully began to weave. Letting the familiar pattern of movements gently wash away my worries.

   Letting my mind wonder away from all my struggle I tried to think of better things.

   I thought of meadows full of Hesperia Illyrian flowers that cling to the mountain sides, and distant pines. Delicate five peddled flowers sparkling in the purest of white. Laying amungst vines of oily black vines that looked a deep indigo in daylight. So dark as to catch even the smallest amount of sunlight in the depths of Illyrian winters. Blooming all year round, and made the sweetest of tea.

   The Illyrians most sacred symbol, the basis on many ink bonds of spiraling vines.

   When I lived there, I always told myself that one day my father would forget me. That I’d be gone so long he’d think me dead, or tarnished. That I’d never have to leave. One day I’d get to live the life I’d always wanted. I would live and die in those mountains.

   I wanted it so badly. To have my own family. If not with Devlon, then any other of the males who’s respect I had earned over the years. I promised myself that if I ever had a baby girl, I would name her Hesperia.

   It made me smile. Still thinking about all that time. All those years of raising my children, how much it felt like a real home. For the first time in my life, I had a home, and now I have to start all over again.

   Pausing I look down at my pinky finger where the tiny vine ringlet lay cold and empty.

   I couldn’t feel Rhys. I haven’t heard from him at all. Nothing.

   I don’t know if Caden is alive, or Devlon, or Morrigan, or. . . or the others. There had been other’s, right? Yes, of course there were. Brother’s. I had two more, and there was another one. A smaller one. With silvery eyes that made you just a little bit afraid.

   Hissing I try and swat away at the inky tendrils hiding them from me.

   Amren! There was Amren, Cassian, and Azriel. How could I forget them? Are they okay? I’m sure their fine. They’re probably staying in Vel –

   And again, the memory is pulled away.

    “No”, I breath to myself as tears well up in my eyes again. “I know this. They’re staying in – They’re staying in. . . the cabin?”

   I remembered a cabin in a field of freshly fallen snow with three Illyrian males hiding behind their own pile of snow to duck under. Dodging the other’s snowballs. Laughter, pure and joyous shouted over grey mountains. Amren attempting to learn sketching while Mor sat quietly with her book.

   I remember the cabin at least.

   Pausing in my weaving I shut my eyes to focus on Rhysand. Reaching out to him, but only met the solid black dome of his mind.

    Brother?, I call gently, but he pulls away.

    Leaving me alone in the dark.
   Sighing heavily, I pull myself back. If he didn’t want to talk, he wasn’t going to. So, I left him alone. Brushing away the bleariness from my eyes as I continued my work. Weaving away until there was a delicate knock at my door.

   “What?!”, I shout at the interruption.

   “Mel? It’s Pom and Jon, we’ve come to see if you’re okay. 

  “You may come in”, I sigh heavily as my friends’ step in and close the door behind them.

   Pomona didn’t waste any time in sitting on the bed and pulled me into a loving hug. Petting my head as I leaned my head onto her thick bark like skin with a thunk, “I can’t believe the gaul of that male. If I had known he was up to no good I would have never let him near you my Lady.”

   “It’s not your fault Pom”, I grumble and hug my arms around her waist. Thankful for her comfort.

   “He’s lucky I don’t shove my roots down his- ”, Pomona huffed in frustration, but cuts herself off from anything too colourful.

   It makes me smile and give her a gentle squeeze, “You’re my best friend.”

   “And you are mine”, she answers with a bit of a smile. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

   “Hugs are nice”, I offer and she nods. Refusing to move as we watch Jon leaning against the wall. Glaring at the papers on the floor.

   “Jon?”, I call and offer him my hand. Pushing himself over he takes my hand and sits beside me.

   “I’m sorry Eris let this happen”, he muttered.

   “Don’t make excuses for him”, I pat his hand and he nod silently.

   The three of us sitting in silence together.