Chapter 1
Although an extreme rarity, Adrianna was at a loss for words. A blank screen stared ominously back at her, as blank as the expression on her face. She laid back on her bed in an exhausted angst. There was a story she needed to tell. The words refused to come to her and she was left to think of each piece of this puzzle as they swirled in her head. Every scene that replayed was torturous and wonderful all at once. She wanted more than anything to expel them one by one onto this blank screen; to be replayed once more and then forgotten. She wanted to forget above all. There was a myriad of emotions tied to the whole package as well as to the bits which made up the whole. The latter overwhelmed Adrianna. The burden shut her down. Sprawled on her bed in the mess of pillows and bedclothes, her vacant eyes were fixed on the ceiling. She didn’t move, barely breathed. She didn’t blink. The white expanse above was invisible to her. All she saw was the thoughts racing through her mind, immobilizing her. Time was inconsequential. She was lost.
Dreama knocked softly on Adrianna’s door. There was no answer. “Adrianna,” she said, barely above a whisper so as not to wake her roommate if she was asleep. Dreama knocked again, a bit more force fueled by the slight worry in her heart. She hadn’t seen Adrianna in two days; hadn’t seen her go to work or out to see friends, or even to eat. She would not hesitate to admit she was afraid. “Adrianna?” The question in her voice caused a heightened pitch and volume at the last syllable of Adrianna’s name. There was still no answer. Dreama turned the doorknob silently. She pushed the door open and still managed to make not one sound. The picture past that door frame horrified Dreama. There was Adrianna and she was alive alright, but she was not okay. Dreama walked over to the bed. She was no longer worried. As soon as she saw Adrianna that worry went straight to full on fear. This was her best friend and she was in bad shape. She did not try to mask the fear in her voice when she called Adrianna’s name the next time. She was loud and sharp, her movements abrupt and her voice a stern staccato. “Adrianna! Wake up!” Her lips were right at Adrianna’s ear when she yelled again, “Snap out of it!”
An acute and persistent presence awakened Adrianna from the breakdown that had caused her impenetrable state of being, “Adrianna, this is Dee! You can’t do this! You have to wake up! Talk to me! You can’t just shut down! Come on, wake up!” Dreama was on her knees as Adrianna blinked the ceiling into vision. She could see Dreama’s hands clasped over her. She felt tears hit her face and heard Dreama’s voice speak again, this time she was more desperate than angry, “Please. Just wake up, Adrianna. Please…” Her voice trailed off into a haze of “please” over and over. Adrianna turned and Dreama’s tears grew heavier and increased in volume. “I’m hear Dee. I’m here. Thank you.” Adrianna could barely speak above a whisper. She sat up and Dreama came to sit next to her. A few moments went by of comfortable quiet. Dreama calmed herself and cried her tears. Adrianna blinked and tried to moisten her dry eyes. She didn’t want to feel like things were real. She wanted to be lost back in the nothing; lost in the thoughts she wished she could forget.
“I’m sorry Dreama,” Adrianna began after she found her voice again. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t even realize I had been out that long. I was just…thinking.” Dreama looked at Adrianna. The disgust in her voice was blatant. A fired burned in her eyes, “about him?” Adrianna was softer about the subject than Dreama was. She had no bitterness, no regrets. These feelings reflected in her voice, “Yes. I can’t help it. I have to finish this. He started it but I have to finish it or it will always hang in the balance. If I don’t do this, I’m always going to wonder.” Dreama had been listening with her fiery eyes but she turned away after that statement. She stood up and walked towards the door. At the entrance to the hallway, she turned to Adrianna, “I won’t watch you do this to yourself. Finish it fast.” She held her gaze with Adrianna for a few moments before leaving. Adrianna didn’t back down. She looked right back at Dreama with her own penetrating gaze. When Dreama left, Adrianna was stoic. She got up to close the door and leaned against it with a sigh. This was turning out to be more trouble than she ever realized.
The next few days were “business as usual” for Adrianna. She put on a smile for the world and for Dreama, employing every skill as an actress that she held in her arsenal. This was her problem, not everyone else’s. She would take care of it. No need to drag all the people in her life into the mess she’d recently made of it. It wasn’t fair to them. She had been selfish. Adrianna slipped into a double life. To her friends and family, it seemed that she had gotten over recent events but behind the closed doors of her mind she was consumed by obsession. Determination drove her. She barely slept but somehow was able to make it seem like she had. The double life was not tiring for her. On the contrary, it was invigorating.
Dreama watched her roommate. She could see the wheels turning in Adrianna’s mind. Dreama knew that she was planning something and that it may be dangerous. She knew there was nothing she could do to stop this. It had been inevitable from the start. Still, Dreama couldn’t help but worry. Adrianna could never let him go. She had tried before and whatever she was planning to do to sever those bonds was bound to be monumental, maybe even life threatening. It was the eyes that gave Adrianna away. Her face may smile but her eyes held fear and pain. Dreama heard her crying at night when she thought no one was awake to hear her; but Dreama heard. She knew that her friend was hurting and that she was powerless in this situation. The reality was torturous. She felt helpless. She had done all that she could.
In the dark recesses of the night, of her mind, Adrianna cried her tears. She was trying to come to terms with severing the bonds that had kept her whole for so long. She was torn but she had been patient long enough, had waited long enough. It was time. This was the only way. The new moon is the time to begin new things and that is the time that Adrianna chose to make her move. That’s what it was, beginning a new life on her own. It had never been this difficult before. Never had she dreaded something as much as she dreaded this. Her hands were shaking and there was a knot in her stomach as she prepared the ritual to cut the chord that kept her tied to him, her Henry. He had been her other half, held her aloft and held her together. He made her what she is today; but things had gone awry and now she had to cut that chord in order to keep herself sane. She couldn’t stay tied to him when she was trying to let him go. He was in her dreams. He was everywhere and she needed to learn how to be without him.
At the moment of detachment, Adrianna felt a pang in her heart. It was as if the chord that she was cutting had resided there. The pain was almost unbearable. She continued the ritual nonetheless and, when she closed her circle, beads of cold sweat had formed on her forehead. She couldn’t breathe. Dreama had sensed the distress and, at the risk of interrupting Adrianna, she came rushing into her room unannounced to find Adrianna clutching her left arm and doubled over in agony. Dreama rushed her to the hospital. At the emergency room, the paramedics determined that Adrianna was suffering from a heart attack. No matter what they did, they couldn’t stop her from slipping into a coma. Dreama knew why. She knew that it was Adrianna’s chord cutting. She never should have tried to sever the bond between her and Henry but there was no stopping her. Dreama only hoped that the coma was part of the spell, that magic was still working in some way and that Adrianna would come out of it when she had worked her way through whatever it was the gods wanted her to. All she could do was hope.
