I was in deep slumber but awaken by the continuous ringing of my phone. I hastily grabbed it on my side table and answered the call.
“Why on earth are you calling me this early?” I didn’t even bother to open my eyes and check who the caller is.
“Nine in the morning isn’t early anymore, Patricia. Get up and I have some news for you,” Jamantha sounded both like my mom and Miguel. A mother slash friend who has a lot of chikas to tell.
I yawned. “That should be worthy of my time, Amelia. You know how I hate it when someone disturbs me when i'm asleep,” I pressed the loudspeaker button and waited.
“Agnes is getting married,” my brows furrowed. “Who’s getting married?” the words she uttered were like caffeine in my coffee. I was sleepy no more. Her name immediately caught my interest.
I heard Jam heaved a sigh on the other line.
“Agnes just got engaged. Last night, her boyfriend proposed to her and she obviously said yes. So yeah, your totga is getting married.”
***
After almost an hour of staring at the void, I finally decided to get up. I searched for my keys and went out. I went to the nearest store, bought five large bottles of beer and two bags of chips.
I should get rid of thinking about anything related to her. And this is my way of diverting my attention. Getting drunk and wasted.
My eyes were swollen and puffy. The liquors didn't help me. I still end up thinking about her. And how it all turned out to this.
I stared at our last picture taken three years ago. She was at my back—left arm clung onto my shoulder and her other hand inside the pocket of her shorts. it never crossed my mind that that would be the last time.
Why do we have to end up like this, Agnes?
If only I knew... I should’ve fight for our love.
Minutes later, I found myself dialing her old number. My heart skipped a beat when it started ringing.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five—
“Hello? Who’s this?"
“It’s me...”
“Wait, Pat?”
“Can we talk? I need you here, Agnes. Please...”
Two knocks on the door. I stood up, my head was throbbing with pain yet I still managed to walk to the door and opened it. I felt my heart ached with joy when I finally got a glimpse of her. I closed the distance between us and wrapped her into a warm and tight hug. Her body stiffened at my sudden move. She tried to pull away but I just hugged her even tighter. I buried my face on her neck and my nose was once again filled by her natural scent. That alone makes me want to feel safe in her arms once more.
“I miss you so much, Maristella,” I softly whispered to her. I glanced up and take a closer look at her face. Well-trimmed brows. Set of alluring eyes covered with spectacles. Her nose. And that thin lips. I could tell every single detail of her lovely face.
“You’re drunk...” her voice was delicate, like before. She gently held my waist and put my arms around her neck for support, then guided me as we walk inside my condo.
We sat quietly on the couch. I wanted to ask her; to say every thing I have in mind. But I am afraid to hear her answers. It's like giving her the consent to stab me in the heart. In the very same spot where it bled years ago.
She finally broke the silence. “Well I guess you already knew about it,” she said casually. I slowly nodded in response.
“I agreed to went her for us to have a proper closure. I think it’s about time to accept our fate and leave everything behind the past.”
“You know it’s not that easy. For the past three years, I've been trying to move forward and just forget what happened. But look at me now, I’m still stuck on you...”
“No, Patricia. Listen. We cannot undo the things in our past. Maybe it isn’t our fate to end up together. We are not destined for each other—”
“That’s bullshit! Stop telling me that cliche reason. We are capable of choosing the ones we want to be with, Agnes.”
“Then why didn’t you fight for us? Why did you left without hearing my explanation? You see, we both ruined what we had. And we cannot take it back now. Let’s just continue living our lives without regrets from the past. Please?”
My shoulders slouched. Any seconds from now, the tears that I’m holding back would burst. Feeling so hopeless and tired, my teary eyes looked at her.
“Don’t you love me, Agnes?”
“Sorry but I’m done loving you.”
