Imagine (Harry Styles fanfiction)

11.

11.

// TW SUICIDE //

When I get downstairs I see Mungo's happy face. He starts barking 'Mungo shut up' I say and he shuts up. When I decided to walk out of the door he started barking again 'Mungo shut up'. He won't stop so I decide to take him with me. Otherwise they'll know I'm gone and I don't want that. I get Mungo and his leash and I leave. I decide to walk to the beach.

When I'm at the beach I go to a place where you can rent beach houses.
'Hi', I say when I walk in. The reception is already open, that's really nice.
'Hi', says a man. 'How long do you wanna stay? You got a dog I see, that costs more money.'
'I know', I answer. 'I wanna stay for three days.' That must be enough days for now, so I have time to think.
'That will be $3000 then', I open my mouth. That's really expensive, but I got a dog and it's at the beach. Everyone loves the beach. I grab my wallet and give the money. He looks at me weird, because it's cash, a lot. Eventually he just gets it and says that I have to follow him.

He guides me to a cute, little, open beach house. He gives me the keys 'Thanks!'
I open the door and let Mungo in, then I realise, I don't even have a bench for Mung. The only thing I brought for him is food. Oh well, it's only three days. I'm going to sleep now, it's already 6 AM. I shut my phone all off, so no one can track me. If they even realise I'm gone.

I wake up, I have the biggest headache ever. I look around, where am I? Did we go to Lola's or something? No, we didn't, none of them are here. Fuck, then I realise. Stupid dumbass, I look like a little kid for my behauvior. They say one thing about my boyfriend, and I run away. They didn't do anything, Harry did. They're probably worried as fuck. My parents are gonna be so mad! I left some 'strangers' all alone in our house. I try to turn on my phone, fuck it's empty. I can't already go home, I paid $3000 for this, I should look for a charger. Where can you get a charger, in a shop. There are enough shops over here. Or I could maybe ask someone for their charger, but no that's too scary, I'm just gonna buy a new one.

When I get the charger, it's time to charge. It will still take some time so I'll just walk on the beach with Mungo.

The feeling of the soft sand makes me feel comfortable. But it reminds me of Harry, how am I ever gonna talk to me again. I don't want to talk with him, I definitely don't want to. What if he still fucks with those little kids? Am I being played again? So many questions race through my head. I don't wanna lose Harry, I don't want to. Tears start running down my face. I fall down, I don't wanna lose the one thing that makes me so happy! I scream so hard that people start looking at me. Fuck, that's embarrasing. Time to stand up and walk like nothing happened.

When I get back to the house, I have a dilemma. Am I gonna contact Harry or not? I really wanna speak to him and tell him what the girls said. But he's most likely to break up with me. The girls, they probably don't even wanna be friends with me anymore. I act like a child, did they ever wanted to be friends with me? Or did they do it, because I'm rich? When I met them, they didn't know if I was rich or not. Wait, Mia probably already knowed I was rich. It doesn't happen everyday that someone new comes live in your rich as fuck street. They probably wanted to still drop me if I wasn't Mia's new neighbour and was poor.

My life doesn't have any sense anymore, it's better for anyone if I leave. It is...
'I'm sorry Mungo..' I whisper. Tears start running down my face again. Why am I so worthless, why have I never been enough? The thing I could do at least is tell them why I am gone. I don't wanna make it look like it's their fault. I get my diary and start to write.

Dear everyone,

I'm really sorry, when you read this I'm gone. It's no one's fault, it is my own fault, I shouldn't come live here. I know that I only caused drama. I'm such a drama queen for running away after what happened.

Mom and dad
Thank you guys for everything! I didn't have the nicest childhood, but it's ok. Now I had the most beautiful time of my life in Spain. I really love you guys and I will always do. Thanks for being the best parents ever.

Harry
This is gonna be hard to write. I love you so much, I will always do. But you hurted me, why didn't you tell me? I thought you trusted me, but now I'm gone you can do it again. Thanks for all the nice memories I got from you. Hiking, driving, swimming and you know what... Something really special, it will always be special. Take care of Mungo please.

Mia, Lola, Isabel, Taylor & Hayley
Thank you guys for the nicest time in my life. I should've done more with you guys, but I didn't. I'm sorry for that, I really am. Telling me what you guys did about Harry wasn't the smartest move. We were drunk and y'all couldn't know I would overreact that bad. I love you guys.

Y'all probably wondered why I did this? It's not because of the drama that happened yesterday. Maybe a little, it maybe made me feel like y'all will leave me. That's probably what will happen if I come back. The biggest thing is my past, it hurts me a lot and I just can't live with it. The trauma's I got, the scars. I am really sorry for leaving. I love all of you <3

Goodbye.

I sight, that's done. I give Mungo a little kiss and a hug 'I'm sorry bub'. I get my phone and turn it on. I go to Google, alcohol poisoning.
I go to the shop and get the things to do. When I'm home tears start running down my eyes, I get my stuff ready. Before I go I decide to text Harry. I have more than a hundred texts from him.

Haz <3
(me) I'm really sorry, I love you...

I turn my phone off, then I drink it.