𝑶𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑻𝑺

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵🌼

When he feels unimportant to you as you are cold to him : him as your classmate🌼

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Time :~12:00pm
Y/n's p.o.v:~

The day finally arrived when I am going to perform in front of whole high-school. I am both excited and nervous. Regardless of the fact I'm into dancing since I was 13 years old...this is my first public performance as I was too afraid to go to stage back then. But the sudden arrival of a person changed the whole world for me. Whereas I thought of myself as a big disappointment he was the one who sticked to me through all the thick and thin , not ready to let me suffer alone and encouraged me through the whole time while all I did was trying to push him away. On one hand he was the social butterfly who was as innocent as a child who brought light to my dark life and I can't be more grateful to him for that. And on the other hand I acted so cold to him hoping he would give up sometime , but he proved me completely wrong. That's why here I am standing on the backstage , ready to face the world. But where the hell is he? He's never late. He even came yesterday to cherish me while practicing. Ohh!! I ignored him then too. It's just that I can't really help falling for him. The way he everytime hug me whenever I am down, the way his lips form a genuine happy smile after I compliment him somehow, the way his eyes sparkle after catching me staring at him, the way he kisses my forehead , assuring me that he'll never leave me while I pretend to sleep and deep down enjoy his warmth--all these feelings are driving me insane. I tried my best to ignore the butterflies in my stomach whenever he's around..but it's too late. He's so pure and innocent who deserves really much better than me , this is what I thought at first thinking he's just accompanying me out of pity. But as time passed by the untold emotions grew only stronger. And that's when I understood it's not a simple highschool crush. It's more than that. It's mutual and it's just what I have been craving for years. " LOVE "
Only thinking about this word brings me painful headache. Growing up as an orphan in maternal uncle's house I was never really given the selfless love a child expects from family. That's why it's much more difficult for me to confess and I can't afford to lose my loved ones again just like I lost my parents. So I went with the easy one. I decided now to ignore him instead of pushing him away. That could work. So yesterday when he gave me compliment that my dance was breathtaking I just gave him a blank look as if his presence doesn't matter and went home without waiting for him. That must have hurt him. But did it hurt that much that he just didn't come today?! Literally this was the last thing I wanted to see before going to stage. But anyway, hoping he'd come soon I took my position and got ready for the performance which is not more than 5 minutes to start. All I was thinking about how badly I wanted to see him in the audience,his boxy smile~that fastens my heartbeat everytime I look at him, Ajey.
The performance began in no time and I performed exceptionally better than even the practicing session. My nervousness was replaced by Ajey's encouraging words that continued playing in my brain as he was still nowhere to be seen. He was absent during the whole performance and my eyes kept searching for him the whole time until I was fully convinced that he didn't come. Soo...is it gonna happen?? He gave up..at last...??! That's what you wanted y/n, right? Got it..you got it. You successfully lost him forever before your emotions could get any more stronger. Then why does it not feel like relief!? And this is saddening me so much?

Time skip to 5:00 pm:~
Ajey's p.o.v:~

It turned out just how I thought it would. I didn't go to y/n's performance today for which she has been practicing for 2 months already. I wanted to see her reaction. I wanted to hear her desperate voice over phone demanding to know why I couldn't make it. But she clearly doesn't give a shit wheather I am present or not. It's not like I purposely stayed home. I caught a cold too. Moving on, I honestly think I am making y/n uncomfortable by clinging onto her all the time. She seems to be so disturbed and irritated over the fact I always check up on her and go to see wherever she's if she's okay or not. I just can't make someone like me back just because I like --actually love her. Yesterday she ignored me like every other day but it felt more like I was the most unimportant and unworthy person she never wishes to meet. As much as I try to stay unbothered by her outer cold appearence which I know doesn't show her true self , every fucking time it hurts like hell to be treated like a pain in the ass. Now I am convinced that she really doesn't like me a tiny bit and maybe I am suffocating her more. So I am thinking of taking my step back. Afterall, I do not want to see her stressed just because of me. If she stays happier that way it's good to settle things like that. While thinking all this unknowingly I felt tears brimming in my eyes and in no time those started to flow through the cheeks. She is my first love after all and thinking that I just lost it, I will never get her love in return broke the shit Outta me. I was already suffering from cold and now this crying just made things harder for me. Among all these , I heard the doorbell ring. Maybe mom is back , she has gone out to buy groceries. I managed to get out of bed.