" My thigh's are too big . And my stomach sticks so far out ." I thought to myself .
I had this problem everyday . I looked in the mirror and was horrified at what I was looking at . I mean every teenage girl is insecure in some way , but for me it was full overload . I hated everything about my self...
I was diagnosed with a eating disorder 2 year's ago , 2 year's ago is also when I lost my best friend to suicide. The doctor had promised I would be better by now. But , like everyone else, he broke his promise. I had lost all hope 1 year ago , when I was on my death bed . I had starved my self for 2 weeks just so I could be lovely .. My blood sugar had run so low that one day while I was on the bus heading for school I passed out and all I remember is staring at the sky as the rain drops fell.
My parents think I am just a over dramatic teenager, but last time I checked I was a complete wreck. I called for help and no one answered, that's when I was pushed over the edge. There is a bridge in downtown Manhattan I would go to so I could think and smell the fresh air. Today I will go here to end my life.
It is a cold December day , Christmas Eve to be exact , and my parents were in there usual fighting habits. Nothing was going good , I had just lost my best friend, my brother died of a brain cancer a month ago, and I was starving myself. I snuck out and walked to the bridge , and fixed myself on the ledge. Everything was wrong and it didn't feel like Christmas at all, more like a living hell.
"The pressure to be perfect" I muttered as I stared at the city lights. I slowly rose up on the ledge and looked down at the 30 foot drop to gray cement.
" Look at me , i'm fucking pathetic. And i'm done" I took a deep breath and closed my eye's. I felt all the air rush pass me , I watched the bridge fade more and more. Then all of a sudden , pain had crept into my body .
