Gone For Awhile

Damaged But Not Broken

(Lucy's POV)

(Time Skip 3 months)

I'm getting off the train at Magnolia Station after completing another great mission. My jeans and large pink shirt were torn in some places, but they held together better than the dull white sneakers I was wearing. I was afraid my magic would be affected like my mood swings, but my spirits have really come through for me. Especially this time. I thought it was supposed to be an easy job, the only ones I ever took anymore, but the client failed to mention a group from the mercenary guild staying close by. Needless to say, I got a little more banged up than I should've been. My sweatdropped as a single thought came to mind.

"Ya know, Erza's not gonna be happy that you got yourself hurt, Lu-shee." Happy speaks my thoughts exactly while flying next to my head. We've gotten closer over the last few months. I even let Happy sort of move in with me. I just couldn't let the little guy go home alone all the time.

"I know." I sigh. "But it wasn't my fault. The client didn't tell me there were mercenaries around!" I exclaim. Not like that little bit of information is really going to matter in the end. I know Erza cares about the baby and me, but she gets overzealous. Sometimes, it can be a bit too much.

We walk straight to the guildhall. It was our routine. After a job, we would go to the guildhall, eat, drink, and find another job before heading home to bathe and relax. Sometimes, we would sit and stare at a map, trying to route out where Natsu would be and recalculate when he would be back. We tried to tell everyone at the guild what we had found out, but even Master shut us down. It was hard to ignore the evidence we left out in the forest. Even Gray, who would strip without thought, would tell us that Natsu wouldn't walk around without some shirt on. Even though, technically, Natsu would walk around shirtless anyway. I mean, that's what you call only wearing a vest and showing off his hot abs were. 

I couldn't lie. There were nights when I would lay awake in bed, rubbing my swollen belly and think about Natsu. Would he be happy knowing he's gonna be a dad? Would he be happy that it's with me? What kind of dad would be? I would miss him so much during those nights, and I would dream that I could really feel his arms wrap around me, trapping me in warmth. But, when I wake up in the morning, I realize it's just my blanket and not Natsu.

Walking into the guild, I could feel a lot of stares on me and knew it was because of my clothes' condition. The guild was like a family, and with me being alone and pregnant, that also meant that everyone had the right to worry about my safety and that of my baby's. That's why, as soon as we sat at a table, Wendy and Carla came up and immediately took their positions. Carla talking to Happy while standing on the table and quietly watching as Wendy healed me and checked on the baby. She couldn't tell me the gender, only that the baby was healthy and okay. 

"You've got to be more careful, Lucy," Wendy warned in her soft, gentle voice. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to take any fighting jobs." She hinted. Nobody hid the fact that they didn't like me working so much, but a girl's gotta pay her rent. And it's not like I can completely depend on Happy doing all the jobs by himself.

"I already told you guys. I can't stop taking jobs. I have to pay my rent and save up for the baby. I still have to go baby shopping." I explained when in truth, I'm pretty sure I've paid my rent for like the next year or so. In fact, I could probably go baby shopping whenever I wanted. I know Mira, Levy, and Erza would be more than happy to come along and help me out. The truth was, I didn't feel up to it. It was one more thing to remind me that I'm doing this all alone.

"Which is why," Interrupted Master, with his booming, attention-grabbing voice. "we spoke together while you were gone. We all decided to pitch in some money from every job to help you out until you can begin working again. After the baby is born and you've bonded with your child. Bisca has agreed to give you tips on raising a child, and Mira has agreed to take you out shopping for baby supplies." Master spoke, nodding at the mentioned members in turn.

"Lucy Heartfilia, this is one of the hardest things I have had to do as Guild Master, but you are hereby banned from taking any jobs for the foreseeable future!" Master boomed, and my heart sank. How could they do this to me? Being a wizard is all I've ever wanted! Happy laid his paw on top of my clenched fists. I didn't even realize I was that angry. I got up and stormed out of the guildhall. 

What was I supposed to do now? There was no point in being at the guild if I couldn't take a job. Why would Master do this to me? How could they all agree to something like that? I stormed all the way home and slammed the door. I fell unceremoniously on too the couch and propped my aching feet right up next to me. I should really soak my feet; all that walking wears me out.

Happy and Carla come flying in through my bedroom window that I keep open. I keep it open mostly for Happy, but there are times when I imagine Natsu sitting in the window and waving at me, that silly grin of his plastered on his face. As if saying, "Sorry I've been gone for so long, Lucy. Did ya miss me?" 

Wendy appeared from around the couch and sat down next to my legs, her small hands neatly folded in her lap. Happy and Carla stood on top of my coffee table. Carla had her arms crossed with her usual annoyed look on her pale white face. Happy just stared at me, slightly worried, his hands down at his sides.

"I'm sorry about my outburst at the guild, you guys," I said tiresomely, raising my hand to my forehead to slightly cover my eyes. "I just don't know what came over me."

"It's okay, Lucy," Wendy spoke first, laying one of her hands on my legs. "We want you to know that we did with your best interest in mind. For you and the baby."

"You should be thanking us and everyone else. This decision didn't come easy. No one was happy about it, but Wendy is right. We did it with your best interest in mind. "Carla said heatedly. She always sided with logic and had been against me working since I came back from the one in the canyon.

"I know, and I'm sorry. It's just that..." I began trailing off. But if I keep these feelings bottled up inside, it's just gonna hurt more, and I can't keep living like this. "It's just that I'm afraid. Afraid that if I'm left alone for too long, I break down and give up. I don't think I can be the strong mother this baby needs. Not without Natsu." I finished, a single tear slipping down from beneath my fingers.

"But that's the thing, Lucy," Wendy said, squeezing my leg in reassurance. "You're not alone. The guild will be there to help you out. Bisca said she would help you raise the baby and advise on how to take care of it. Mira said she would help you pick out a crib and baby clothes. You know all the girls are already getting together to throw you a great baby shower, with lots of games and food. Even Laxus agreed to help re-arrange your apartment to accommodate the both of you." Wendy said, emphasizing the fact that Laxus agreed to help anybody else out. I feel like Mira had something to do with Laxus. 

However, the thought of anyone else going through my personal belongings terrified me, and I sweatdropped at the mental image of Laxus and the Thunder Legion reading my unfinished novels or going through my drawers. I felt my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. I shook my head to dispel the horrible thoughts and smiled at Wendy.

"Thank you, Wendy," I said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it back. I was awarded her sweet smile. "I guess I was still stuck on Natsu that I forgot about the rest of my family." I laid my hand on my belly and rubbed it slightly. "Old and new. I won't forget again, I promise."

Wendy and Carla stayed with us that night. Carla helped me make dinner in the kitchen while Wendy and Happy played a card game in my living room. During dinner, we talked about the plan everyone seemingly had in mind for me. From now on, Happy and I would go to the guildhall every day. Wendy would get some advice from Porlyusica as I was getting mine from Bisca. Mira would plan and organize the baby shower at the guildhall while EverGreen ordered and directed the Thunder Legion to re-arrange my small apartment. 

So, the plan was set. Tomorrow, I would begin actually preparing for the baby. I would need to get extra sleep if I was going to be up and walking around all day. I helped set Wendy up on the couch. We said our goodnights as we shut off the lights. Happy crawled into bed next to me, and Carla curled up on Wendy's lap.

That night, I dreamt about a small blonde haired boy with a wide, toothy grin. He was waving his arm at me from a distance. He felt familiar somehow, and I let the warmth of the dream lull me into blissful slumber.