I like Camila's butt and I cannot lie

21 - He's killing me slowly

I don't know what it is, but Lauren seems to be still giving me a cold shoulder. Well, I'm not going to entirely blame her

But;

Once I found out that our group of friends hung out without informing me... everything just went downhill pretty quick.

I felt so betrayed.

I knew that Lauren probably called them for some hang time, intentionally not including me. The other girls probably wouldn't do anything with malicious intent. And still my mind won't be settled on that fact.

Rumours have it that Luke might be seeing someone else. I know that I shouldn't bothered but it still sucks.

And as if everything wasn't bad enough, the week after exams seemed to be chilled for everyone else except for me with crazy drama rehearsals. Leonard still somehow managed to out shine me at almost everything.

After practice that day, I ran into Shawn after practice. He let me into his van and I entered in with not much to say.

I just really got into thinking about fully committing to Shawn this afternoon. Was I ready to handle the weight of him being my everything?

Was I ready to conquer my fears?

Was he ready to conquer his fears? With me?

After sitting aimlessly, with these thoughts pondering in my mind on late afternoon, I figured...

Why don't I just do it?

My body stood erect at that struck of untapped genius.

It was just that simple, I had to show him that I was ready. And what greater way can I prove myself? I have every reason to be with him, he's all I ever wanted.

And today was the day to really show him that. It wasn't even rainy outside. That was a given sign.

He pulled his van over when we arrived  at his place and I looked at him before I could let him hop out.

"Can we make some ice cream, just the way you like it?"

"Oooh. Obsessed with my recipe already?"

I smiled. "Something like that."

"You're quiet, but you seemed to be in a good mood." He said cheekily.

"Of course I am. Well," I leaned into him. "Ice cream isn't the only thing I came for."

I reached towards him, putting my small hand on the back of his neck, bringing my lips to his. Slow, unrushed, passionate...

His lips coaxed mine slowly, like we owned all the time in the world. I felt his moan resonate throughout my body, letting his self free of everything.

At that moment, there was only us.

I slowly but hesitantly pulled away from the kiss and looked him dead in the eye.

"I'm ready to prove myself to you, but you have to promise me a few things."

"What, what might those things be?" He whispered into my ears, just before giving them a soft bite.

"I want you to let me in Shawn. To commit with me." I played with his hoodie.

He looked up at me with intensity, and I picked up on the tinge of fear in his brown orbs.

"I've never had to do that."

"But isn't this why we're here in the first place? To fight fear."