Hey! Its ya boi Illumi, I just wanted to thank you guys so much for the support, and apologize for being on such a long break! I'm back now, I've improved (I think? 😳) and ready to write again!
Request | Maybe Calliope comforting an anxiety ridden reader?|
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— "Damn it," you muttered under your shaky breath, slowly opening your laptop.
Grades, that's all you needed to check. You'd be fine, it was just a bunch of letters anyways, what did it matter?
As you slowly waited for the website to load, the overwhelming feeling of dread and anxiety was becoming unbearable. You felt paranoid— a lump of dread forming in your throat.
Then the page loaded.
You weren't necessarily shocked, nor disappointed but you could already feel the tears brimming in your eyes as you looked back to the one 'F' on your screen.
Of course. What else would you expect from yourself? You had hardly been trying, you should have done more. It was stupid... You, were stupid.
You could feel yourself heavily shaking, and your throat beginning to close. Every small breath you took only made you desperate to breathe even more, despite the sharp pain that threatened to stop your breathing. It felt time was against you, the clock continuously ticking yet the hand never moved.
It was all your fault.
Then you let all your tears spill. You greatly wanted Calli to find you and comfort you, but at the same time you didn't want her to worry.
Shakily standing up from your seat, the ground swayed beneath you, your head about to burst. Taking small steps, you made your way to the kitchen, slowly but surely.
You'd get a cup of water, that would help with your throat. Opening the cabinet from above you, you grabbed a glass cup.
It happened fairly quickly, but in that short time you heard the door open, dropped the glass in surprise as it shattered all over the floor and around you.
Now this time you really wanted to cry. You furrowed your brows, letting out multiple swears out loud. Could this get any worse?
"Fucking," you mumbled, letting out a noise of frustration. "I hate myself," you continued, stepping over the glass to go find the broom. You could feel yourself being cut by the glass but by this point you didn't really care.
About to take the broom, you felt a pair of arms wrap around you.
What?
You began feeling shaky once again, less of desperation and anxiety, more of warmth and comfort.
"Let me clean it up, s/o."
You would normally refuse, but you felt tired and done with everything. You softly nodded, handing the broom to Calli.
She gave you a gentle smile, yet you could see the anger in her eyes for whatever you had been crying about.
You sniffled, wiping your tears away as you watched Calli quickly clean up the mess.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice ever so slightly trembling.
Calli put the broom back, seeming to be finished with her task before walking back to you.
She softly scooped you up into her arms, about to carry you into your room before you abruptly whispered something.
"Wait wait, my... my laptop," you said, pointing to the computer laying on the couch.
Calli said nothing as she examined the screen. Then the pieces clicked. She looked back to you, this time less angry, and more sympathetic. I guess she understood why you were so upset.
As she carried you back to the bedroom, you let a small smile spread on your face. You forgot Calli was a reaper for a second, she would have no problems carrying you.
"I'm a failure," you muttered to yourself, not expecting your girlfriend to hear you completely.
"No no no, you're not a failure, s/o. It's just one grade. Numbers and letters don't define who you are," she said, softly laying you onto the bed.
You were silent, placing the blanket over your face.
"I tried so hard in that class, Calli. How did I.."
She didn't let you finish your sentence, patting you on the head through the blanket.
"At least you made an effort. At least you didn't give up, you know? Sure you failed, but that doesn't mean you didn't try."
You sniffled again, having no response.
The two of you sat in silence until Calli finally took the spot next to you, uncovering your face.
"Thank you, Calli." You whispered, leaning towards her.
"The school system is just fucked up man," Calli responded, wrapping her arms back around you.
When the pink-haired reaper didn't get a response, she looked down to you, who seemingly had fell asleep.
She smirked, quietly standing up. Time to visit your professor.
•
"Yeah, it's really strange cause," you opened your laptop, looking to the screen.
What.
There where your 'F' grade was before, now was a B. While it wasn't very satisfactory, you were happy with the change anyway. But, why was it changed?
"Never mind," you said, turning to the Phoenix. "I guess my professor changed his mind or something."
—
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I'm so sorry I tried my best to explain the anxiety attack 😌
