It was you from the start | MINSUNG |

○ I'll try ○

It was around 3am, Jisung was laying in his bed, he couldn't sleep after what has happened hours ago. He tried his best to not think about minho, tried to watch some movie, listened to music, write some lyrics, but nothing worked. His mind was full of minho.

Ah, this is driving me crazy! He beat up the pillows, "aish- IM TRYING TO SLEEP" hyunjin threw pillow at him. Jisung wanted to fight back, but stopped, he didn't have strength for that. He rolled over in bed and faced wall. Jisung took the phone and opened Youtube. He was browsing non-stop, until an idea popped up in his head. Um...what if. He typed "Minsung" on youtube search. The results shocked him, there were thousands of fanmade videos about them, most of the videos had almost million views. One video caught his attention and tapped on it to watch. In the video, it was shown minho's affection towards jisung. The video started by their flirting and joking around, jisung had no reaction to it, but after some seconds, the video only focused on minho's gaze towards jisung. How he looked at him, how he always smiled whenever they stood together, his loving eyes whenever jisung would talk, how he lose himself in thoughts while staring at younger boy. Jisung watched the video carefully. He and minho would joke around and flirt, but of course he could never see how minho was looking at him, when he was not focused on older member.

Jisung then went straight to the comments, he knew english and could easily read what stays were saying. The replies showed him that stays were suspicious, if not certain, that something was going on with these two member. Jisung then found one big reply that talked about minho's behavour towards han and to other member. Jisung watched other video too, it was about hour long, the comments were not that different either.

Jisung felt strange. He couldn't figure it out, if it was good strange or bad strange. He turned off the phone and pulled up blanket to cover his face. He thought of the kiss. He clearly didn't want to admit that he liked it and that he wanted one more kiss. Because of the intense kiss and the way minho pulled the younger to him, jisung could feel his hyung's body. He remembers the feel of minho's touch around his waist, the way he held him and kissed him. Jisung felt shivers down to his spine, he never experienced thing like this.

Let's think rationally okay! I am feeling strange, because I have not kissed in a LONG time! That's it and nothing else! No, I don't have any other feelings for minho hyung. Nothing else! It was just because I have not kissed anyone in a really long time! Plus hyung is so sexy how can i not- HOLD UP BRAIN! Jisung panicked and stopped renting in his mind, before he would think anything dangerous. He got thirsty, so He went out of the room and wanted to walk to the kitchen, but froze instantly.

Minho was there. He was sitting near the table and was drinking small glass of soju, he had his left hand supporting his head and couldn't see jisung. Jisung didn't know what to do. "Well it is not like i ACTUALLY WANT water, but" jisung thought and walked towards the room. "Hey hyung" he tapped on minho's shoulder. The older boy slightly jumped "ah hannie..." he took a deep breath and looked down. Minho wasn't looking at jisung's eyes, like he was feeling guilty or something.

"Um so..um" Jisung was thinking of what to talk about with minho. This has never happened before, Jisung could just talk for hours about elephants and minho would still listen, ask questions and hold conversation even through he wasn't interested in topic. Somehow searching for a topic was too hard tonight.

Minho stood up and faced jisung, but he didn't look in his eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. "J-Just give me a second...I have something to say" minho said to Jisung. The younger boy didn't say anything and just stood there for a solid 5 minutes until minho finally spoke.

Minho finally looked in his eyes and that shocked Jisung. He could clearly see the red and swollen eyes "h-he cried" jisung thought. Minho took one more deep breath and what he said afterwards may have changed their whole life.

"I love you..." he said and looked down once again. "I...I was never planning to say this to you- maybe it's because of alcohol and I will regret this in the morning...these feelings I have for you are not what friends have...I am completely in love with you and after...what happened today, I deeply apologize, but I can't keep this anymore...anyway, um - I am not telling you this for any motives. I just simply can't hold it inside anymore" he then chucked "I guess I am not strong amymore" minho coughed and continued "at last...I want to say that I hope nothing will change between us...I will try my best to not make you feel uncomfortable and I promise you I will try my hardest to get over these feelings- it just needs some time. I d-d" minho was fighting back with his tears "I don't want to lose you, therefore I will t-try...try my best to get over you and...I hope we still can be friends" minho shook his head and walked away to his room.

"H-He w-what?!" Jisung stood there frozen for quite a long time, shocked, panicking and anxious.