Rainie's POV
As I drove away, I kept replaying the same image in my mind. The image of him with another girl, someone who wasn't me. All this time I had been sitting, wondering, waiting, longing for him. He on the other hand could not care less about me, that much was for sure. If what he felt for me was true, then he wouldn't be able to hurt me like he has.
I thought about turning my car around and confronting him, demanding that he tell me who she was and how long this adulterous relationship had been going on? But what is even the point? I am no better than her. I started this relationship with my uncle, even though I knew very well that he was married to my Aunty.
At that moment it dawned on me that this is what so called 'love' is, something that comes suddenly and ends just as suddenly as it comes.
He made all these promises to me and made me believe that he would love me, and only me forever. But, he changed as quick as the direction of the wind changes in the winter. I felt complete and utter dispair, although I am young I am one hundred percent sure that what I felt for him was and is love. However, deep down I also know that the feelings I felt for him were more intense. Or should I say that I love him one million times more than he loves me. Without him what would I be? Who would I be? He has played such a pivotal role in my life for so long I feel like I wouldn't be able to live without him. Whereas for him I am something dispensable, me being there or not makes no difference. After all, as they say there are plenty of fish in the sea and many other girls that can take my place.
It was obvious was it not? All this time he had been playing me, like a cheap violin and I was non the wiser. All those things that people have said about guys seemed to be true not just hearsay. Why is it that at the beginning, before you have managed to quantify your relationship they tell you everything you want to hear? Treat you so well? Spend every waking hour speaking to you and make you feel like you are the only person that matters to them in the world? But after what seems like no time at all, the excitement is gone, they no longer need to be on their best behaviour or reel you in, because they know that they already have you hook, line, and sinker. Then just like that the enthusiasm that they once had for you disappears like one grain of sand in a sandstorm. Why is it that as soon as we fall in love with them, put down our guard and completely let them in. They have already left with no trace.
Was it really the case that he actually has no feelings towards me and in fact he just wanted an intimate relationship? But, after realising it was not something that I was going to give up that easily then he left and looked for the next best thing. Are all men really no better than primal animals? Does our memories and time together really amount to absolutely nothing to him? These were all questions that would never be answered, not unless he was willing to meet me or if I go to his house and corner him. I could pick a time when I know that he would be home but my aunty would not. This would be the only way that I would be able to get all the answers that I needed so badly.
I need to know otherwise there is no way that I will be able to move forward with my life and truly forgot about the man that means everything to me.
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I can't believe that people are still reading this story, I started writing this story so long ago. I hope that I can finish it off by mid this year. Can anyone relate to what Rainie is feeling at the moment? When you first start seeing someone or getting to know someone they are one way and after a while they seem to change just as you have fallen for them? Let me know in the comments section if anyone has ever experienced this before?
Thank you for reading my story
