" Being really kind to somone you love is normal you see." They were saying in a movie that I was watching.
" Don't you think that I am really kind to you?" You said to me. If you are so kind to me why don't you love me Thomas?
I was looking at my phone every minute. Everytime I had a notification, I was hoping that it was from you. You were online on the message app but also she... I know that when you talk to her or think about her, I vanish. You always text her first...
My message was slowly fading. I knew that you won't answer me. Sometimes you never answer and just say something else. Sometimes you don't even say something.
" Why is it a problem that I don't love you back? Maybe because of your ego?" You said to me. But I want to say no, because it is not. You see, if you loved me you would have texted me back. If you loved me, you would have send me a message to spend more time with you. You never messaged me to hang out Thomas, not even once. It is always me... I know that if I don't ask you, you will never ask to see each other.
I don't know what I am for you... Sometimes I feel like a puppet. You control almost all my actions and my emotions. I want to cut these ropes and be free from my love for you. But why it is so difficult?
Now you should be at your home, far from our school, and me. Maybe you are having dinner with your parents, laughing about a movie that you had just watched. But you didn't even say to me that you came. Why would you? We are not dating, we are nothing. We don't have a name...
" Would it have been easier if I didn't love you ? "
" Yes "
" Okay, that was harsh "
" You're right, sorry" Sometimes you say things like that Thomas but you don't even realize.
" So if I don't love you, for you we are just fucking? "
" I know you don't love me stop saying it over and over."
" Sorry I forgot " You even forgot that I love you. You, who has such an incredible memory. You forgot. I wish I could forget to.
Two months that you will be far from me. Time always changes things, and this time, I felt that yesterday was our goodbye. These two months is going to change something. I don't what is going to change exactly, but I am not sure if I want to know. Time never was my friend. Things are already crackling...
