The Abandoned Empress

Chapter 30

"Can you please leave now?" I demanded, clearing my throat.

I had a right to challenge him since he ignored and laughed at me.

"You have no reason or right to intervene in my matters. I'm sorry for the trouble I caused the other day. I won't bother you anymore. So, please leave."

"... Hey."

"Though it was brief, I value our first meeting. In that respect, let me tell you one thing. Even if you are called a genius in any specific field, it doesn't mean you can cover your weakness in other areas. If you value the honor of your father and your family, you had better pay attention to your words and deeds and show due manners."

"What? What the heck are you talking about?"

I pulled the line. As if she was on standby nearby, Lina immediately appeared before he could refuse. I instructed her to escort him out of the mansion and bowed slightly as he left.

"I'm sorry, but I can't see you off because I'm not feeling well. Goodbye. "

"Hey! How dare you...!"

"I will escort you, sir," Lina said.

While his yelling faded away, I pulled the blanket over me. I didn't want to see or talk to anybody. I slowly closed my eyes and went to sleep.

Was it because I fell sick from excessive training? Or was I depressed? After I expelled Lars rather rudely, I was very sick for some time. I had a fever and my whole body ached as if I had been beaten by somebody. I had to change bed sheets several times a day because of the cold sweat, and I couldn't eat anything because I felt nauseous. Lina expressed her concern and the butler was also pretty concerned about my condition. I've never been sick as much as I am now even when I was physically weak.

When there was no change in my worsening condition, the butler said he would send a letter to my father, but I told him not to. I didn't want to worry him, and I think I knew why I was sick. It was because my feelings got hurt.

The reason I was obsessed with fencing was because it was the only way I had come up with to avoid repeating my past life. I was desperate because it was so difficult.

I knew that I didn't have any outstanding talents like Allendis or Lars. I knew that it was difficult for me to achieve the desired results within a given time. So I made a self-fulfilling prophecy that there was nothing impossible, and I couldn't progress quickly in fencing. Despite that, I kept practicing excessively. It was inevitable that I got sick.

I sighed. As I was pressed for time, I couldn't shorten the training time to make any progress.

As the promised deadline approached each day, I felt more and more frustrated.

I thought about asking for a deferral, but there was little chance of my request being accepted. There was no chance that the emperor, who wanted to tie me to the imperial family in one way or another, would agree to my request.

I felt hopeless. I had to stick it out until Jieun appeared, but the time was too short. Even if I could hang in there, it posed another problem. If I didn't have the minimum qualifications, I wouldn't escape the fate of the next emperor's concubine when Jieun arrives. Didn't I already experience it in the past?

The more my desire to get out of my doomed fate through fencing became weaker, the more gloomy and frustrated I became. I smiled bitterly. I vowed I would reject my given fate, and that I would lead a new life even with the denial of God. Was it just my arrogance? Is there really no way for me to get out of my past?

"Lady Tia, you've got a letter."

On the seventh day while I was sick in bed, Lina, who brought me medicine and gave me a letter.