His Dark Materials

Chapter 12

Mary chuckled a little and ran a hand through her hair. "not possible" she kissed Mrs Coulters cheek, so badly wanting to just kiss her and let her know everything was going to be ok. She couldn't describe the own flutters she felt in her stomach, she moved so she was behind Mrs Coulter, biting her own lip as she began massaging marisas shoulders, rubbing intensely, she didn't know why, perhaps it's how focused she was on giving the massage, a lustful grunt left marys lips surprising even her. She was so glad she was behind Mrs Coulter. A few more minutes passed and she'd massaged her shoulders and her back, mapping the skin with her hands, remembering slowly sliding her hand up her back. She pressed a soft kiss to the woman's bruised shoulder and then came around the front, she lathered some shampoo in her hands and started washing the woman's hair, her hair alone was beautiful, Mary's chest all but in marisas face as she leaned in to make sure she was doing a proper job. "how's that?"

it never occurred to mrs coulter that dr malone was actually lifting her up, not breaking her down. she didn’t understand it, any of it. mary gently kissed her cheek and marisa winced but allowed it, she even kept smiling slightly because she loved it and she craved more. ozymandias managed to limp forward and rub his little head against mary’s legs, which sent a chill down marisa’s spine. the scientist carefully, slowly massaged her entire body, she had never felt such tenderness and pleasure all at once. and then mary kissed her again, marisa flinched again a little, she wanted to escape but she couldn’t avoid mary, everything was so much better with her here. she was scared that she had lost her power, that she won’t ever be able to accomplish what she wanted. “yes, yes you are” mrs coulter was truly ashamed but let herself cry in front of the scientist again, she felt comfortable around her, perhaps even more comfortable than with lyra. lyra was her daughter, the most important person to marisa, but she wasn’t wise enough to understand adults, not completely. “i let my guard down when you’re around, i am not myself” marisa’s heart beats fastened when mary began to wash her hair, “good” the brunette barely nodded, careful not to hurt her neck and with one hand, she held onto the edge of the bath the entire time.

Mary kept washing her hair, she let her cry, she needed to let it out. She cupped Marisas chin and tipped her head back gently, cupping the water in her palm and letting it go down the woman's hair. One minute later her hair was clean, Mary came back down and held Marisas hand with both of hers, rubbing it gently, she cupped her cheek and wiped away the falling tears, though she didn't tell her to stop. "Marisa...." she whispered, her thumb stroking her cheek. "you are anything, but broken... You're not weak" she pressed a long kiss to the other womans knuckles, allowing oz to rub his head on her. "i am not going to hurt you" she whispered, though with this she also grinned "i know i couldn't if i tried" she cupped Marisas chin once again, only able to stare into those absolutely stunning eyes. She relaxed herself, her own blouse a bit wet from tending to Mrs Coulter, she rested her forehead against hers. "perhaps... You're someone you've aways been.... Too scared to be. Your guards down, isn't a bad thing" she whispered. "because when they need to be up, i know... They'll be stronger than anyone could have imagined. You love your daughter..." she looked at her, finally understanding one small piece of her. "you want love. That is not, weakness"

Mary sighed, hopefully that would be enough to calm her down, she was strong, that wasn't a lie. She placed her hand on Marisas hand gently, dreading the next question. "what happened Marisa..." she whispered, meaning Oliver, what he did. "tell me what happened" she said quietly.

marisa sat there, simply frozen.. she did cry, she cried more when mary touched her chin. it reminded her how different mary was.., maybe people are a lot better and happier where she’s from. women can also publish books and papers there, what can be better than that? mary tried holding her a lot, picking her up.., marisa herself didn’t even know if she wanted that. she could never refuse mary’s help, she knew that it’s wrong, she has to get out of it. but a part of her that was oz didn’t want to, he hugged mary’s legs even tighter as she wiped away marisa’s tears. maybe.. she wasn’t broken or weak but she sure felt that way. mrs coulter had never felt that way before, she opened her heart and got hurt for lyra. love was weakness. love had managed to make her soft and weary. love hurt her lyra too, if marisa never took her from jordan college in the first place she would still be safe, running around the gardens of collage or climbing rooftops with friends. but the desire to have her daughter back was too strong. this time she didn’t flinch when mary kissed her bruised hand. “yeah, you couldn’t” marisa whispered and let out a weak, quiet chuckle. mary’s next words upset her a lot.., but even if marisa didn’t want to accept it, it was the truth. she loved her daughter unconditionally, she felt good taking care of lyra. a part of marisa wanted to hug this woman now more than ever and tell her how she truly felt. however she did not agree with mary with her pathetic illusions about love. “it is weakness.. it would be pathetic to think otherwise, that’s what my mother used to say. love can only weaken a person” she felt a large amount of pain in her chest, remembering her mother. for a brief moment she thought she couldn’t breathe. as if this wasn’t enough for mary, marisa let her take care of her, she let her close to her. that curious redhead wanted to know more, she wanted marisa to tell her.