phobia (sequel to insomnia) | stray kids ff

zone 22: gaze

a/n: heres a long ass chapter for yall since ur guys' comments on the last one made me feel bad LMAOOOO

enjoy my loves

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"Yah, what are you doing just standing there! Say hello to me!!!" I hear a cheerful voice and look away from the ground to see my older sister running towards me. She looks so strong and brave. She's wearing a belt full of weapons and a gun wrapped around her body but the smile on her face is completely different from her aura. The thoughts of Hyunjin disappear when we meet eyes and I engulf myself into Sana's arms. I smile wide and begin to feel tears filling my eyes.

"I knew you were out there! I knew you were okay!" Sana whispers and I feel my heartache. I sniffled, not realizing that I was crying and Sana removed her head from my shoulder and cupped my face. "Yah, are you crying?" Sana smiles and wipes my tears.

"They're happy tears," I sniffle and smile. "I'm so happy to see you," I say and she places her head back on my shoulder. "I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too," I hear Sana's voice break a little and start to feel the tears well up again. "C'mon let me steal you into my room so we can talk," Sana pats my back and lets go of me, hooking her arm with mine.

She probably knows how uncomfortable I am with Hyunjin and his new girlfriend because she dragged me rather quickly inside to avoid Hyunjin or anyone trying to talk to me. I am glad she is okay. Being with her though made me empathize with Changbin losing Ryujin. I could never imagine losing my sister. I smiled a little although my eyes were puffy as I walked with my sister to her room.

I sit in Sana's room, comfortable with the atmosphere I am in. She sits me on her bed with the door closed behind and holds me in her arms. Jeongin was locked out of her room because Sana said this is sister talk only. I'm glad she saved me from the awkward encounter with Hyunjin. Seeing him with that pretty woman made me so angry. A type of anger I didn't know how to describe.

"If you don't want to talk about it..." Sana starts, noticing I was staring at the ground in thought. I shake my head and try to smile but it hurts to bring myself to fake it.

"No, no, tell me everything I missed," I try to say with enthusiasm although I really wouldn't want to know. Sana sighs and sits beside me, wrapping her arms around me.

"I'll tell you as much as you want to know," Sana kisses my hair and leans her head on my shoulder. "He still loves you, you know," Sana interrupts my running thoughts. My breathing hitched and I looked down at my hands. "We all thought you were dead."

"I know, it's like a common trend now," I sadly joke and frown a little. "How do you know he still loves me? He has a beautiful girlfriend now." I think back to them looking at each other and almost feel my puffy eyes water again. Sana combs my hair to comfort me.

"You know how cold Hyunjin is?" Sana asks me and I nod, knowing that Hyunjin hates showing his emotions and keeps to himself. "Those nights when he was really thinking about you, he would come and talk to me. He checked up on me to make sure I was alright because he also knew how much I missed you." I frown and feel a teardrop roll down my face. He really missed me and did so much to make sure Sana was okay. "We would talk about you a lot. Most of our conversations were about you. I told him how you used to talk in your sleep and when you couldn't sleep you would make warm soup in the middle of the night," Sana smiles. "He liked hearing stories about you. He wanted to get to know you more even if you weren't around or 'alive.'" I sniffle, already getting too emotional about this.

"But-" I say between my hiccups. "Now he found someone else." Just saying it makes me feel like a stake has been stabbed at my heart.

"Well, that 'someone else', saved his life a year ago," Sana sighs.