phobia (sequel to insomnia) | stray kids ff

zone 10: heavy-hearted

Hana's POV

I hold Jaehyun in my arms as he starts coughing up blood. He holds his stomach and starts staring off into the distance, having a hard time focusing on one thing. I grab his face as he lays in my arms.

"Stay with me. Look at me, Jay," I whisper to him, tears flooding my eyes.

"Jaehyun!" I hear his friends call and they all run through the crowd and push everyone back to give him room. Taeyong looks below from the post to see Jaehyun lying in my arms, bleeding out. He grows furious and aims his sniper at SM.

"Are you crazy?" Taeyong yells angrily, trying to compose himself so he can aim accurately.

The other guards aim their rifles at Taeyong but he is not phased. Suddenly, District 9 standby and cover Taeyong as Changbin, Jisung, Jeongin, and the rest of the troop get out their weapons. Taeyong looks down at them and notices their unexpected gesture. He nods at Jihyo who nods back at him. The residents vacay the area as they start to see the scene get more violent. They gasp and start running in different directions.

"Please, please, please, don't die on me," I beg and Taeyeon arrives to examine his bullet wound.

"Johnny, I need you to take him to my office. NOW!" Taeyeon orders and Johnny nods frantically, quickly but carefully picking him up from my arms. Jaehyun's blood transferred to my jeans, making me want to cry even more. I get up from the ground and stare at Jaehyun in Johnny's arms now.

"I'm so sorry," I apologize as a tear rolls down my face. Jaehyun, although he hazily looks at me, still manages to hold my hand.

"Don't worry. Just get out of here," Jaehyun tells me. I feel my heart sink once he says those words. I shake my head immediately, refusing to leave him when he is close to dying right now.

"We have to go now," Taeyeon says to Johnny. I take a step forward to follow them but a hand pulls my forearm back. I look down at the hand and then at the person stopping me to see Hyunjin. Hyunjin has dark eyes again.

"We have to go too," Hyunjin says. I remove my arm from his grasp and start to feel discouraged.

"I'm not leaving," I say aggressively which shocks Hyunjin and myself. I almost feel regret from saying those words after I see the hurt look on Hyunjin's face.

"He's going to be okay," Hyunjin says, trying to drag me with him again but I step back. Hyunjin's face slowly frowns and the hand he put out for me to take gradually lowers back to his side. I sigh and look back at my other friends who are farther away now. Hyunjin notices how worried I am and sighs. "Guess a lot has changed," Hyunjin says in a low, disappointed tone. I feel somewhat insulted by the way he is acting. Instead of thinking before feeling, I let my emotions drive me.

"I'm not the one who changed," I mutter but realize Hyunjin has heightened hearing.

"We came here for you and you're the one refusing to come back with us," Hyunjin points out. "Look who's really changed," I refuse to look at Hyunjin and look down at the ground. This tension between us anchors an anvil on my hear. A flash of his bright green eyes appear in my brain and I shake my head. I feel hatred towards what him now.

"At least I didn't kill a bunch of innocent people like a monster," I bicker.

Even though I'm not looking at Hyunjin, I know those words struck him. I start to feel my heart break a little after I said that. I don't want to fight with him. This is not what I had in mind when reuniting with him. I feel a piece of my heart be taken away. Hyunjin slowly steps back from me and scoffs. It's as if I am talking to the cold, rude Hyunjin from when we first met.

"Okay. I see who you want to stay with," Hyunjin says, his voice breaking a little which triggers my eyes to water.

I bite my lip as I try not to cry in front of him. I hate this feeling. Why was I so mean? Why did I say that to him? I never wanted to hurt him and I did just that. I can't bring myself to apologize even though I want to. If I say something again, it might add to the fire. I stay silent, not looking away from the concrete.

"Stay as long as you'd like, princess," I hear Hyunjin say. "I guess I was saving someone who doesn't exist anymore."

That's when a tear began to roll down my face. I forget everything happening around me. The thought of Jaehyun disappears, the worry of SM vanishes, the decision to stay is gone. All I can think about now is Hyunjin and how I hurt him. Before I could stop him from leaving, I look up to see him gone. I finally release the tight feeling in my chest and cry silently, standing there in the street alone.

All of a sudden, my super hearing turns on when I didn't want it to.

"SM!" I hear Hyunjin's voice and stop crying. I miss him already.

"Oh, it's the beast," When SM calls him that, I felt a fire ignite in my lungs. Hyunjin didn't want to be seen as a monster. He didn't want to be called a monster. I did just that though. "How did you escape?"

"We're leaving," Hyunjin reveals.

"You can't leave until you return what's mine," SM threatens.

"Where's Hana?" Jihyo whispers to Hyunjin.

"She's still in there, don't worry," Hyunjin says to SM but I notice how wounded his voice sounds after saying this. "There's no reason for us to take her with us anymore," Another tear falls down my cheek. I almost collapse by Hyunjin's words and lose my balance a little. I went too far.

"Hyunjin, what are you doing?" Jisung whispers to Hyunjin but he doesn't answer him just as he did with Jihyo.

"Finally, you have learned some discipline and respect," SM says. "Well, I'll let you guys leave with no casualties because I am nice like that."

"Are we really just going to leave empty-handed?" Changbin murmurs.

"She chose them," Hyunjin reveals to his fellow members.

"No, there's no way she chose them over us," I hear Jeongin's sweet voice which makes me cry even harder. I want to run out there right now and join them. What have I done? I try to move but my body stays glued to where I am. If I go, will they all be angry at me? I start to doubt if they'd even accept me.

"That doesn't sound like Hana," Changbin comments.

"Well, that's what she told me," Hyunjin says in a cold tone.

"Out of all people, YOU are leaving her? After all the trouble you went through?" Jisung asks.

"She doesn't care about me anymore so why should I care about her?"

"Hyunjin... you love her though," Jeongin mutters. Hyunjin pauses and there is just silence.

"We changed. There's nothing between us anymore."

And that's when everything turned black.

[just left behind sharp words

in a trembling voice]